


Swear you'll stay

by SilentRain91



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst and Fluff and Smut, College, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/F, Flirting, Girl Penis Lexa, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Teacher Lexa (The 100), sophomore!Clarke, yes another student/teacher fic I know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:52:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 74,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentRain91/pseuds/SilentRain91
Summary: Lexa is a new professor at Polis with the goal of concentrating solely on her work. Having gone through a painful breakup over the summer, her confidence has been dented. On her first day she notices a girl with a laugh that’s full of life. She used to be like that too, before Costia happened. Love is weakness, she knows that now and she won’t delude herself into thinking someone can love her for who she is.Clarke is a sophomore who wants to get the most out of her college experience. She tries to be a decent student, though she never misses a single party. It’s not her fault that Jasper and Monty throw good parties. Her life is pretty great with a sweet boyfriend by her side, even though her best friend hates him for reasons that don’t make sense. Maybe Octavia’s gut feeling turns out to be right after all.Teacher/Student College AU.





	1. Chapter 1

Lexa holds her chin up high as she walks through the halls of Polis, the college where she has been hired throughout the summer, thanks to her impeccable resume and a good word from her older cousin, Anya. With her twenty-seven winters she is fairly young for a college professor, though she graduated earlier than most do.

Her whole life she has worked as hard as she could and has strived to get everything as perfect as possible. Overall she accomplished quite a bit and yet in some areas she has failed entirely. During the summer her relationship of four years stranded, which was a painful blow. She used to think she would grow old with Costia someday, but it wasn’t meant to be.

_I can’t do this anymore, Lex. You… us, I can’t. I’m in love with someone else._

Perhaps she should have seen the red flags, but they say that love makes people blind and blind she was. The intimacy between them had reached an all-time low over the last half of their relationship and for the first half they weren’t exactly all that intimate either. She did feel as if Costia was pulling away from her, though she ignored those feelings.

Their contact had been reduced to brief kisses here and there. Each time she would try to do something romantic to spice their love life, such as planning a candlelit dinner, Costia would barely respond to it. It was always chalked up to being tired or not feeling so well. The words Costia said to her on the day she broke up with her are words she will never forget.

She clears her throat, needing to concentrate on her job rather than her past. What happened in her past is irrelevant now, even though it most certainly caused her pain. Hearing Costia tell her she was in love with someone else cut through her, although there were things that were said that may have cut her even more.

In the beginning of their relationship she had been nervous and to be honest a tad insecure. She has been raised as a girl and that is perfectly fine because she _is_ a woman, though she was born intersex, meaning she has male genitalia. At times she wasn’t too happy about that, but she learned to see the positive sides, such as never being stuck with menstruating.

As she reaches the door of a small cafeteria which is intended for the professors, she glances down at her suit, wanting to make sure there are no obvious crinkles in her blouse. Not that there really could be any given she spent the better half of her morning ironing her blouse, hoping to make a positive first impression on her colleagues. She has never been much of a skirt and dresses type, always preferring to wear pants.

Once she’s done running her hands down her blouse several times, she clears her throat, plasters a smile on her face which may look a tad fake and opens the door. In the middle of the small cafeteria there are three tables which can each fit up to eight people, assuming from the eight chairs that there are around each table. All she needed was one quick glance to count them. To the right there is a vending machine and a coffee maker.

“Good afternoon,” Anya says with a warm smile. “Lexa, this is everyone. Everyone, this is Lexa.”

“Hello, everyone,” Lexa says politely. “As you all probably have heard by now, I am Miss Woods and I am new here.”

“Welcome Miss Woods,” an older man with thick rimmed glasses says as he holds a hand out to shake hers. “Miss Forest has told us all about you.”

“Has she now?” Lexa asks as she shakes the man’s hand. She’s not surprised that her cousin informed them about her and knowing Anya, she knows that no private information has been shared.

“Just a little heads up, the vending machine gets stuck sometimes,” Anya says to Lexa. “If it does, all you need to do is kick it.”

Lexa is not a fan of vending machines. Besides, all she truly needs is a bottle of water to get through each day, which she will take with her when she leaves her house each morning. Every once in a while she may enjoy a cup of coffee, if that coffee maker is any decent. She is ready to throw herself completely into work.

“You look dapper,” a man who must be about mid-forties says.

_The intimacy between us is just not… I’m not attracted to you, Lex. I’m sorry._

“Miss Woods?”

Lexa snaps out of her thoughts, realizing she zoned out for a while. That’s something she will have to watch to ensure it doesn’t keep happening. “Yes?” she asks with a polite smile.

“Are you alright?” an older woman asks, her voice tinted with concern.

Lexa can sense something maternal about the older woman. “Oh yes, I am perfectly alright,” she answers, waving her hand around. “I was wondering if I closed the door of my garage or not.”

Her colleagues chuckle and talk about how they tend to forget such things from time to time as well or how they even forget to turn their stove off. The only person who isn’t joining in is Anya, who is frowning as she looks at Lexa.

Lexa shakes her head at Anya, to let her know she doesn’t want to talk about it. “How is Adria?” she asks, so they can talk about that instead. Adria is her older cousin’s eight year old daughter and she knows Anya and Luna love that girl with all they have. Her cousin has been married for ten years, which is something she could only ever dream of.

“She’s doing well,” Anya answers, fishing her phone from her pocket to show Lexa some pictures. “Luna is teaching her how to cook. They’ve both been asking about you by the way.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke sighs when she bumps into Octavia, who suddenly stopped walking without a warning. They had been hurrying with their trolleys to get to their room so they can finally unpack. It’s their sophomore year here at Polis and even though the summer wasn’t bad, she’s glad that it’s over. She loves her mother, but sometimes her mother is nearly impossible to be around.

Octavia smiles sheepishly and tucks her hair repeatedly behind her ears. “Oh gosh, she’s looking this way,” she says as she makes half a sprint to stand behind Clarke. “Hide me.”

“Not this again, O,” Clarke groans. “You’re hopeless, you know that right?”

“She’s so beautiful,” Octavia mumbles. “I wish she would notice me.”

Clarke knows that Octavia has a major crush on Raven, which she has heard all about last year. A year ago on their first day, her best friend spotted the Latina and gushed about her. It only got worse after that and so far Octavia hasn’t gathered the confidence to actually go talk to Raven.

She pretty much grew up with Octavia and they’ve been best friends since kindergarten where she had split her cookie in half to share it with Octavia. They have always gone to school together and lived in the same neighborhood, though during their freshman year they only had a few classes in common, which will be the same again this year and for their last two years after this one.

“I really hope that she’s a lesbian or bisexual,” Octavia says with a deep sigh. “Or pansexual, like me,” she adds. “Whatever really, as long as she’s into girls,” she finishes.

“You could always start with saying hi to her,” Clarke suggests.

“I can’t do that,” Octavia replies nervously, fidgeting with her hands. “Besides, she’s always around Ontari,” she says, scrunching her nose up.

“You’ve been admiring her from afar for a year,” Clarke points out. She’s not quite sure why Raven hangs out with Ontari because she heard that Ontari has quite the reputation as a rebel, but apparently they’ve been roommates and they’re best friends.

“Your slimy boyfriend is over there,” Octavia says, bobbing her head to their left.

“Don’t call him that,” Clarke replies, glaring at Octavia. “I know that you don’t like Finn, but he’s a good guy and he never gave you any reason to dislike him.”

“There’s just something off about him, my gut is telling me so,” Octavia says, shrugging. “It’s weird that he won’t even come here to kiss you.”

“You want to see us make out?” Clarke asks teasingly. She chuckles when Octavia makes a disgusted face. “You know Finn isn’t into public displays of affection and I respect that.”

“He has a shady vibe, I said what I said,” Octavia says, holding her hands up. “I get the feeling he’s hiding something.”

“You’re being ridiculous, O,” Clarke replies, not going to listen to such nonsense. “You haven’t liked him since day one and that’s not fair,” she says, wishing her best friend would give her boyfriend a chance. She’s been seeing Finn for about eight months by now and they’re happy together.

“Yeah, yeah,” Octavia says indifferently. “Are you done drooling so we can go find our room?”

“Shut up, O,” Clarke mutters, lightly slapping Octavia’s arm. “You’re one to talk with the way you’re always staring at Raven.”

“I might talk to her this year,” Octavia says as she continues walking. “Anyway, our room should be nearby.”

“I wrote it down on my hand,” Clarke says as she turns her palm up to check.

“Still got that habit of writing on your hand I see,” Octavia replies, nudging Clarke with her elbow.

“Habits die hard,” Clarke says, finding it whatever. Her mother hates it when she writes or draws on her hand, but personally she doesn’t care. It’s her body and she’ll do with it what she wants.

“Hmm, true,” Octavia agrees. “Ugh, I can’t see Raven anymore.”

“I’m sure you’ll see plenty of her this year,” Clarke assures. Her face lights up with a smile when she sees Finn approaching them. “Hey!”

“Hey, my sweet muffin,” Finn says, pulling Clarke into a hug. “I’m sorry I was busy during the last week of summer. I missed you.”

Clarke ignores the gag noises Octavia is making, which is rude and immature. “It’s okay, I understand,” she replies, knowing that Finn can’t dedicate all of his time to her. “I missed you too.”

“Hey, O,” Finn says to Octavia, smiling at her.

“Only my friends call me O,” Octavia mutters, rolling her eyes at him.

“Octavia,” Clarke hisses quietly as she fixes her best friend with a glare.

Octavia sighs and adapts a sweet smile. “What up?” she asks Finn.

“I have a new car,” Finn answers, puffing his chest out. “I could give you both a ride sometime,” he offers.

“I have a better idea,” Octavia replies dryly. “How about you let me drive while you lie down in front of it so I can run you over?”

“Octavia!” Clarke shouts, having had enough. It sucks that her best friend’s behavior is driving some sort of wedge between them because she doesn’t want to argue. She hopes that someday Octavia will get along with Finn. Her boyfriend keeps trying to make efforts, but her best friend isn’t responsive to any of his efforts, not in a positive way anyway.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Octavia says quickly. “Geez, relax.”

“I’m disappointed in you, O,” Clarke says, shaking her head. She looks away and grasps Finn’s hand. “Let’s go elsewhere,” she says to her boyfriend.

“Sounds good, babe,” Finn says, swinging his arm over Clarke’s shoulders. “How about I take you for a spin?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa eyes her students as they fill in and she can see some of them glancing at her with either curiosity or shock. She knows she is young, though they should not underestimate her. Her eyes spot a blonde who is laughing at something another girl said or did. There’s a gentle sound to the girl’s laugh, weightlessness.

“Pouting won’t help, O,” Clarke says to Octavia, sympathetically giving her shoulder a squeeze. “You could sit in the back too if you want though,” she suggests as a solution of sorts.

“No way,” Octavia replies, quickly sitting down on the front row.

“Suit yourself,” Clarke whispers, putting her backpack down. She knows that Octavia is bummed out because Raven went to go sit at the back of the class with Ontari. Once she’s sitting down, she opens her backpack to grab her pen and her notebook.

Lexa frowns when the blonde girl who had laughed so delicately earlier suddenly freezes when their eyes meet, notebook halfway in the air. It only seems to last for a second because then the girl is looking away.

“Who is that?” Clarke quietly asks Octavia. “What happened to Mister Wilson?”

“Jesus, Clarke, did you even look at your schedule at all?” Octavia asks in turn.

“Kind of,” Clarke answers, having glanced at it for like a second or two. She knows which classes she has, though she hadn’t noticed that she wouldn’t have Mister Wilson.

“I think Mister Wilson retired,” Octavia whispers as she gets her stuff. “He must’ve been like seventy or something. I’m not surprised they replaced him.”

“Who is that then?” Clarke asks, making the mistake of pointing at their new professor just as said professor looks in her direction. Crap, smooth going on her first day.

“Is your tea party over, ladies?” Lexa asks unimpressed, raising an eyebrow. She can hear a few other students chuckling at what she said. “Silence, everyone, this is not elementary,” she says loud and clear, not wanting any shenanigans. “I am Miss Woods,” she says, for those who obviously didn’t bother to properly look at their schedule.

Clarke wishes she could sink in the floor right now, having embarrassed herself. If Miss Woods is going to dislike her now for the rest of the year then it’s going to suck. Overall she’s not the greatest student, though she likes to think she at least tries to be a good student.

The chattering from the students reduces to whispers until everyone is silent.

“That is better,” Lexa says, pleased that they are listening to her. She knows that the sophomores are all nineteen or twenty year old students, which puts her at being hardly seven to eight years older than them, though she will demand respect. “If you pay attention and work hard you will be able to get far.”

Clarke doesn’t make another sound during the rest of the period, save from her pen moving over her notebook to write down a few important footnotes. She lets a breath of relief out when it’s done, considering Miss Woods sure is fast, so she really wasn’t kidding about the whole pay attention thing.

“Miss Black, a minute,” Lexa says coolly as her students are making their leave.

Clarke watches how Ontari and Raven mumble to one another before Raven leaves. She’s confused as to why Miss Woods wants a word with Ontari because as far as she knows Ontari behaved. Last year Ontari got in trouble with some professors sometimes, so maybe Miss Woods wants to give her a personal early warning to behave.

“Clarke,” Octavia says, tugging at her best friend’s arm. “What are you waiting for? We have to get to our next class. Miss Forest is going to be annoyed if we’re late.”

“Yeah, I know,” Clarke replies quietly, following Octavia out of class. “I was just wondering what our new professor wants from Ontari.”

“Hmm, I wondered that too,” Octavia admits. “Maybe she flipped her off or something, who knows. It doesn’t matter anyway, it’s not our concern.”

“Maybe you should catch up with Raven and say hi to her,” Clarke says, giving Octavia a light push to encourage her. “She’s alone right now, so now’s your shot.”

“She’s going in another direction,” Octavia replies, blushing. “I’m not going to chase after her like a lovesick puppy when we have a class to get to.”

“You are a lovesick puppy,” Clarke says dryly. She smiles when Octavia pushes her. “If you don’t ask her number sometime soon, I will.”

“You have a boyfriend!” Octavia whisper shouts.

“I don’t mean it like that, O,” Clarke replies, shaking her head. “I would ask her number so I can pass it on to you.”

“I don’t know if she’s into girls,” Octavia whispers, blushing a deep shade of red. “Hell, I don’t even know if she’s single. She’s such a babe, I bet she’s seeing someone,” she says with a sigh. “It’s just -”

“Your gut feeling,” Clarke fills in. “Maybe your gut is wrong.”

“Nah ah, my gut is never wrong,” Octavia replies, wiggling her index finger in front of Clarke’s face.

“Whatever you say,” Clarke says, not quite agreeing. Octavia hasn’t exactly been wrong in the past per se, like not even once, but there’s a first for everything. Her best friend is wrong about Finn, that’s for sure.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“I understand that this may be weird for you,” Lexa says thoughtfully. “Although I hope we can keep things respectful.”

“That it might be weird for me?” Ontari scoffs. “You’d think?”

“Ontari…,” Lexa says, sighing.

“Now I have two of my cousins being my professors,” Ontari grumbles. “But it is fine, whatever.”

“I’m sorry if you feel uncomfortable, Ri,” Lexa replies, not having intended to make this awkward for her younger cousin.

“Just don’t let anyone know and we’re cool,” Ontari says, taking a step back when Lexa moves to hug her. “You know I hate that.”

Lexa nods and doesn’t try to hug Ontari again. “Anya is the only one who knows,” she promises, which is obvious since Anya is their cousin. “How are things at home?” she asks, concerned. She wishes she could hug her younger cousin because she wants to comfort her somehow. “Is your stepmother treating you any better?”

“Better,” Ontari repeats, laughing. “Nia has always been and will always be a bitch. Not that it matters anymore.”

“It does matter, Ri,” Lexa replies, her expressions softening somewhat. “I care about you and your safety,” she says, swallowing hard at the purple bruise that’s coloring her cousin’s knuckles. “What happened?”

Ontari pulls at her sleeve to hide her hand. “You weren’t there this summer,” she answers as tears well up in her eyes. “I don’t even live at home anymore. Where were you anyway?”

“I’m sorry,” Lexa apologizes, knowing that she must have let Ontari down while she was dealing with her breakup with Costia. “I should have been there for you.” She reaches out to wipe at her cousin’s tears, but Ontari swats her hand away.

“Roan and Echo took me in,” Ontari says, wiping at her tears with her sleeves. “Great, now my eyes are going to be red. Fuck this.”

Lexa is relieved to hear that Ontari’s older brother took her in. She knows that Roan hasn’t had much contact with any of them ever since he got his own place with his girlfriend, Echo. “I know that you’re angry at the world right now because you’ve been wronged and you’ve been hurt, and it makes you act out,” she says, having heard plenty of her younger cousin’s behavior at school from Anya. “I’ll be around if you ever want to talk and if things ever turn sour with Roan you can always come to my place.”

“I’m not a charity case, Lex,” Ontari says angrily as she brushes past her. “And I don’t need your pity or for you to suddenly care.”

Lexa sighs as Ontari storms away because that didn’t go the way she hoped it would. She had meant to help, though it seems she only made it worse. It’s a relief that her cousin no longer lives with that cold heartless woman.

She clenches her jaw as the seniors start to walk in and hopes that they will be respectful. Once again she sees a mixture of shock and surprise on her students’ faces. With the seniors the age gap is even smaller than it is with her other students, though they should be mature enough to steer away from childish behavior.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Octavia slams the door shut behind her, squealing as she jumps up and down.

Clarke arches an eyebrow up and shuts her book from which she had been revising one of her classes. “Someone seems happy,” she says, her lips curling into a smile. “Spill,” she says, moving to sit up.

“Yourenotgoingtobelievethis,” Octavia says in one breath. She plops down next to Clarke and smiles giddily.

“Okay, take a deep breath first,” Clarke replies, curious to hear what has gotten Octavia all happy.

Octavia nods and inhales loudly through her nose. “I got paired up with Raven for my biochem lab class,” she announces happily. “How awesome is that???”

“That’s great, O!” Clarke replies enthusiastically. “Now you’ll finally have the chance to talk to her,” she says, definitely going to cross her fingers for her best friend. “Wait a minute… since when do you take biochemistry?”

“Hah, funny you’d ask,” Octavia answers, scratching the back of her neck. “I may have sort of swapped some classes around this year and I know Ontari doesn’t take biochem, so I figured… you know.”

“Oh right, but you’re not a lovesick puppy,” Clarke says teasingly.

“I nearly died when she said hey,” Octavia says, waving a hand in front of her face like she’d faint any moment.

“Dork,” Clarke replies, chuckling. “That’s cute,” she says, totally picturing that right now. “What did you say when she said hey?”

“I um…,” Octavia answers awkwardly as she reaches over to grab Clarke’s pillow. “I wanted to tell her my name, but then I remembered I hadn’t said hi yet, so it came out as my name is hi.”

Clarke falls back on her bed, clutching a hand to her stomach as she laughs. She kind of feels sorry for Octavia, who is now hiding her face in her pillow, but at the same time this is amusing her. “Well, I don’t think she’ll forget you now,” she says through her laughter. “What happened then?”

“Ugh, Clarkeeee,” Octavia whines while dropping the pillow.

“Aw come on, it can’t be that bad.”

“She kind of snorted,” Octavia reveals. “Then she smiled at me and I tipped my chair over.”

“Oh my god, you’re the worst at flirting with someone,” Clarke says, laughing even louder now. “That’s so typical for you to get so flustered you fall.”

“Thanks, Clarke, you’re such a pal,” Octavia mumbles, sighing. “You know I suck at this because usually people approach me.”

Clarke knows that Octavia often has people approaching her because plenty of people are interested in her best friend. It’s adorable to see Octavia being so hopeless, although she won’t always tease her about it.

“By the way, I caught wind of a party,” Octavia says, wiggling her eyebrows.

“This weekend?” Clarke asks, definitely up to party. She had such a blast with Octavia last year when they went to each party that was thrown. There’s always at least one every month, which is a part of being a college student.

“Yup,” Octavia chirps. “Jasper’s throwing it.”

“I should have guessed,” Clarke says, because two out of three times when there’s a party it’s Jasper’s. “Jasper and Monty throw the best parties.”

“Hell yeah they do,” Octavia agrees. “It’s going to be lit.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Lexa!”

“Hello, Adria,” Lexa replies, smiling as Adria wraps her arms around her waist. “How did your first day at school go?”

“I made a new friend,” Adria answers, looking up at Lexa. “Mama said you’re staying over for dinner.”

“She’s right, I am,” Lexa confirms. She’s not surprised that Anya didn’t wait to share the news with Adria, although she had asked her cousin not to say anything. “I see you couldn’t keep quiet,” she says to Anya.

“I tried,” Anya replies, winking at her daughter.

“You are not a good liar, darling,” Luna says to Anya, putting her arms around her. She kisses her wife’s cheek, who hums in response. “She told Adria the second she came home,” she says to Lexa.

Anya gasps and turns to look at her wife. “Traitor,” she says, pricking her finger against Luna’s chest. “You’re lucky I love you so much.”

“I realize that each morning I wake up to your beautiful face,” Luna replies. “And I love you too.”

“Come here you,” Anya says, circling her arms around her wife’s waist.

Lexa feels a dull ache upon seeing Anya and Luna being so sweet and domestic. She used to have something like this with Costia, minus a child because they hadn’t been ready for that yet. By now she knows that love is weakness. Love can break people and it sure broke her how Costia ended things.

What she had with Costia wasn’t exactly as loving as what her cousin has with Luna, but at the start of their relationship it had been something similar to this. They used to call each other sweet names and on good days they’d dance through the kitchen whilst singing. Not that either of them could truly sing, but it had felt nice, careless.

Now all of those things only exist in her memories and each time she accesses those memories or is reminded of them, it hurts. She shouldn’t be dwelling this much in the past, although the scar is fairly recent. It’s hardly been a month since Costia broke up with her.

A hand comes down on Lexa’s shoulder. “Lexa,” Luna says softly, a sympathetic glint in her eyes. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Lexa takes a deep breath and holds it for a few seconds. She had tried talking about it during the summer, though she didn’t get far because tears threatened to spill each time.

_What do you want me to say, Lex?_

Lexa had wanted the truth, but little did she know back then how deeply the truth would cut.

_The truth? I… I’ve never been attracted to you. At some points I thought I was, Lex. Or at least I tried to be. I just can’t handle that you’re… you know… different._

Lexa lets her breath out, having held it a beat too long. “No, I’d rather not,” she finally answers. “Thank you though.”

_It’s okay that you’re different. It’s just not okay for me that is all. I don’t err… roll that way._

After spending four years in a relationship with someone you’d think you’d know them, but Lexa found out the hard way that she didn’t know Costia as well as she thought she did. If she even knew her at all because when push came to shove it was like she had fallen in love with someone who didn’t even exist.

Words are easily used as cheap talk and love is a word that’s thrown around too fast as if it means nothing. She spent four years loving someone who didn’t feel the same way. Costia had been more than her girlfriend. They were best friends and now they’re nothing but strangers with a bunch of memories. Love is weakness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke smiles as Finn leans in to kiss her. They’re in her room while Octavia said she would go to the library. “It’s been a good first day,” she says, even though she kind of embarrassed herself during her first period with Miss Woods. “O is taking biochem because of her crush on Raven, which was basically the highlight of my day,” she says, chuckling. She decides not to relay everything her best friend told her.

Finn pulls away a few inches, his face unreadable. “Octavia has a crush on Raven?” he asks, sounding quite surprised.

“Yes, ever since our first day a year ago,” Clarke answers. “She’s not sure yet if Raven is straight or not, but I hope for her that it will all work out.”

“Has she talked to her?”

“No,” Clarke answers, because what Octavia told her earlier hardly counts as having spoken to Raven.

“Raven is straight,” Finn blurts out. He coughs and rubs the back of his neck. “I uh… heard it from other people. You should probably tell her just so… you know… so she doesn’t get her hopes up.”

“It’s sweet of you to think about O’s feelings,” Clarke replies, smiling. Her best friend has her boyfriend all wrong because he’s kind and considerate. “I’ll let her know so maybe she can still swap biochemistry for another class, though she could become Raven’s friend.”

“I feel bad for Octavia because I don’t want to believe everything I hear, but….” Finn pauses and sighs, shaking his head.

“But?” Clarke asks, frowning as she encourages Finn to tell her.

“I’ve been told Raven is homophobic,” Finn answers. “I’m sorry, babe.”

“Yikes,” Clarke says, definitely needing to let Octavia know to make sure her best friend doesn’t get hurt deeply. “Thanks for telling me.”

Finn’s sad face shifts to one of lust as he pushes Clarke down on her bed.

“Wait,” Clarke says, sighing as she catches his wrists. “Can we just cuddle and kiss? I’m not really in the mood for sex.”

Finn groans, though he does stop. “Cuddles and kissing it is,” he says as he pulls Clarke into his arms. “I have to go soon though. I have stuff to do for classes.”

Clarke is confused because she thought her boyfriend said he would be able to stay for a couple of hours, though she understands that college life can get busy and she will enjoy the moments they do get to spend together.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Lexa stares at herself in her full length mirror. She’s clad in a black sport bra and boxer briefs. Her fingers curl slowly towards her palms until her nails dig painfully into her flesh. Sometimes seeing her own reflection makes her angry. It’s not that she hates her body per se, though she can’t say she loves it either. Every time she looks in the mirror she’s reminded of why Costia wasn’t into her.

Most people are probably spending time with loved ones now, curled up on the couch watching a movie or out somewhere to have fun. She’s not most people. Her weekends are spent alone with a familiar routine she has built up. She usually jogs in the morning at dawn, but whenever her thoughts are too loud she jogs at night as well.

Maybe it’s ridiculous that she’s planning to jog when it’s past midnight, especially when she’s likely to get up at five in the morning to jog again. Her body may be sore, though she hardly cares about that. Jogging is good to keep her in shape and it can help to clear her mind. The nightly air is cooler and can be pleasant.

She slowly uncurls her fingers, staring at her angry red palms which have her nails printed in them. As she takes a few deep breaths, the tension in her shoulders eases the slightest bit. She grabs her black sweatpants and slips them on, relieved that through them it can’t be spotted that she’s different.

Throughout her life hardly a handful of people have been told that she was born intersex, which is not something she should be ashamed of. After the way Costia discredited her she prefers to keep her secret hidden even more than before.

She grabs a shirt that’s far too big because she practically swims in it and it reaches down to her thighs. The way she sees it this type of clothing is better than jogging in something that’s tight. She puts her sport shoes on and grabs her keys. Casting one last glance at her reflection, she nods approvingly.

Her house is close to the park, which is the perfect place to jog. Sometimes there are a few creeps at the park, especially at night, though she has a black belt in martial arts so it doesn’t concern her. She knows how to defend herself and fight people off when necessary.

She picks her phone up from her counter and plugs her earphones in as she scrolls through a playlist she put together. Music always helps to drown her thoughts out better. Not that she always listens to music when she jogs, considering she prefers silence from time to time.

Once her door is shut she clicks play. The beats of _Chained to the Rhythm_ sound through the earphones as she starts running to go to the park. She might run around the block first as an extra warm up. 

_I wanted to try this relationship with you because you’re my best friend. It’s not that you don’t look beautiful, but I would be lying if I say I love every… part of you, Lex._

She turns the volume up higher and blinks her eyes a few times, refusing to cry. Love is weakness and it doesn’t deserve her tears. She has cried more than enough over Costia, mostly at night when she’s alone in her bed, looking at the empty space next to her of where Costia used to be.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“This is such a bummer,” Octavia says, stomping her foot down. “It’s the first party of the year. I really thought she’d show.”

“I thought so too,” Clarke replies, a little surprised that Raven isn’t here. Especially because Ontari did arrive at the party, which made her think Raven would be around as well. “She’s probably studying. She’s one of the brightest students here at Polis after all.”

“I dressed to impress and now she won’t even see it,” Octavia mutters. She plucks at the sides of her dress, groaning in what must be frustration.

“Hey um, I need to tell you something,” Clarke says, fidgeting with her hands. She’s been dreading to tell Octavia, but she has to let her friend know. “It’s about Raven.”

Octavia smiles widely. “Why so serious?” she asks, frowning as her smile drops.

“Finn told me that he heard other people say that Raven is straight,” Clarke answers, feeling bad for Octavia. “He also told me that uh…,” she says hesitantly, watching how her friend’s eyes are widened and fixated on her. “Finn said he’s been told Raven is homophobic.”

Octavia bursts out laughing and wildly shakes her head.

“I’m not kidding, O,” Clarke says, stunned. “I swear, this isn’t some kind of joke or anything. I thought you should know before she hurts you.”

“I’ve got a newsflash for you, Clarke,” Octavia says dryly. Her laughter is gone now. “Finn is full of shit.”

“Excuse me!??” Clarke says, feeling slightly offended. “Finn is trying to look out for you and then this is what you say?”

“Oh really?” Octavia asks, crossing her arms over her chest. “Then riddle me this. If Raven is homophobic, how come she’s best friends with Ontari who has been seen kissing girls?”

Clarke sighs loudly and throws her hands up. “I don’t know,” she answers, because she’s only passing on what she’s been told. “Don’t shoot the messenger and don’t shoot Finn either. He said he felt bad for you and that he didn’t want to believe everything he heard, so okay, maybe Raven isn’t homophobic, but she’s straight.”

“So is spaghetti until it gets wet,” Octavia replies, winking.

“Just… be careful,” Clarke says, really not wanting Octavia to get hurt.

“I’m old enough to look after myself, Clarke,” Octavia mutters, her tone defensive. “Besides, my gut disagrees.”

“Here we go again,” Clarke says, sighing.

“The other day when I had biochem with her I accidentally dropped a magazine. It fell open on the page of some actress and Raven said and I quote “fuck she’s hot”, so sure, sounds hella straight to me.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time a straight girl says something like that,” Clarke replies, because to her that doesn’t prove anything. Falling for a straight girl is a hell where she’s been before and Octavia has already fallen quite deeply.

“Before the year ends I’ll find out and if I’m right, you’ll admit that Finn is a liar.”

“He’s not lying,” Clarke says, appalled. “He never claimed that what he heard is the truth,” she says in his defense. “All he said was that he’s worried it is. He’s worried about your feelings and meanwhile you hate him for no reason at all.”

“Ladies!” Jasper shouts as he throws his arms over their shoulders. “Why so mopey when there is a party? Get some drinks, try my moonshine and thank me later.”

“You mean our moonshine,” Monty corrects Jasper.

“Hey, guys,” Clarke says, taking a moment to hug Jasper and Monty. “Thanks for the invite.”

“Anytime, Griff,” Jasper replies while thrusting a plastic cup in Clarke’s hand.

Octavia grins when Monty hands her a cup. “I’m going to dance,” she says to Clarke. “Are you coming?”

“I’m going to chill a bit over here,” Clarke answers, waving Octavia off. After all the stuff her best friend said she’s not really in the mood to dance with her. Octavia needs to stop hating on Finn because it’s becoming beyond ridiculous.

“Who is ready for beer pong!?” Jasper shouts, throwing his hands up in the air.

“I’m going to take you down this year,” Clarke says to Jasper, even though he’s the beer pong champ.

“Awe, you have dreams,” Jasper replies, pinching Clarke’s cheek. “Isn’t that adorable?”

“Pinch my cheek again and I’ll bite your fingers,” Clarke warns playfully as she shoves Jasper away.

“Meow,” Jasper says, making a kitty claw with his hand.

“Let’s get this beer pong contest started, bro,” Monty says to Jasper, nudging his side. “Griff, are you ready?”

“I was born ready,” Clarke answers confidently. “What does the winner get?”

“An exclusive date with me,” Jasper answers with a teasing wink.

“Yeah, how about no,” Clarke replies, chuckling as Jasper feigns hurt. “Try again, Jas.”

“Obviously I’m going to win,” Jasper says, puffing his chest out. “Whoever gets second place can have a keg.”

“I practiced during the summer,” Clarke says, rubbing her hands together as she prepares. “You’re going down, homeboy.”

“Is that what you say to Finn each time you see him?”

Clarke empties her drink over Jasper’s head. She grins as his shirt is all wet now.

“That would look much better on girls,” Ontari comments.

Clarke spins around, not having realized that Ontari was nearby. “Agreed,” she says, because a wet shirt definitely looks way better on girls. She rolls her eyes when Octavia makes frantic movements and mouths ‘ _I told you so’_. Sure, Ontari isn’t straight so it’s possible that Raven isn’t homophobic, but that doesn’t mean Raven wouldn’t be straight.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa scoffs as she Shape of You plays. That song used to be one of her favorites, but now it simply reminds her of how much Costia definitely wasn’t in love with the shape of her. She should have deleted some songs, such as this one and yet she hasn’t. It makes her want to hurl how some of her once favorite songs are stained with painful memories now. Breakups always tend to ruin good things.

She’s running through the park when she spots a small group of guys acting strange. The guys keep murmuring and glancing towards a bench where a girl is sitting alone. Oh hell no, that’s not going to happen. She’s not going to ignore the fact that they’re likely planning to harass the girl. She runs a bit faster and when she reaches the bench she stops, stretches and sits down.

“Miss Woods?”

Lexa jolts. She is startled by the unexpected recognition, which means the girl must be a student. She turns her face to the side and under the dim light of the nearby lantern she remembers the girl to be the one with the delicate laugh.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Clarke says. She chews on the inside of her cheek and slides a bit to the right, further away from Miss Woods. “You jog?”

“Yes, it keeps me in shape,” Lexa answers. That last word makes her scoff, but when the girl frowns she just shakes her head. “Why are you out here alone at night, Miss…?” she asks, not knowing the girl’s last name. She needs to pick up on her students’ names, but there are many of them.

“Clarke Griffin,” Clarke suffices. “I wanted some fresh air,” she answers, tucking her hair behind her ears.

“It’s not safe to be out here at night by yourself,” Lexa says, concerned about what could have possibly happened. The small group of guys seems to have walked away by now.

“Not to be rude, but you’re out here by yourself too,” Clarke points out, meaning no offense.

“I have a black belt in martial arts though,” Lexa replies calmly. She’s not worried about people bothering her. With this girl it’s different though because she’s beautiful and could easily be chosen as a target when she’s alone. Not that she would want to imply that the girl can’t defend herself, but it’s better to be safe rather than sorry.

“That’s cool,” Clarke says, surprised that she has a professor who has a black belt. She wonders if Miss Woods sat down on the bench to be protective because she was alone. “I’m not usually out here alone at night,” she says casually, as if to ease her professor’s mind.

Lexa nods and slips her phone along with the earphones away in the pocket of her sweatpants. “I can walk you back,” she offers, not trusting that those guys from earlier wouldn’t return once the girl leaves.

“I appreciate that, Miss Woods,” Clarke replies, politely accepting the offer. She looks up for a moment at her professor and then hangs her head down. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, having felt the need to apologize.

Lexa is confused to hear the girl apologizing. “Why?” she asks, considering there’s no need for an apology.

“You’re new and I didn’t pay attention to your class right away,” Clarke explains, ashamed of how the first day had gone down. She hadn’t meant any disrespect when she’d been talking to Octavia. “So for that, I’m sorry.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

“Miss Woods?” Clarke asks curiously. “Why do you jog at night?”

“I enjoy the fresh air,” Lexa answers. She exhales quietly and looks up at the sky. “Sometimes I stop and sit to look at the stars.”

“Can you see Cassiopeia?” Clarke asks as she looks up as well.

Lexa tilts her head to look at the girl. “Do you like space?”

“I used to take astronomy classes, but I dropped them,” Clarke answers with a faint smile. “Space is nice and I bet there’s more life out there than we know.”

“Life is all around us,” Lexa says with a soft sigh.

“That sounds kind of corny,” Clarke replies, chuckling lightly. It almost feels as if she’s hanging with a friend, but Miss Woods is her professor, who she shouldn’t insult. Not that she meant it as an insult. “Kind of like love is all around us,” she clarifies.

Lexa contains her instinct to scoff and purses her lips. She’s tempted to say that love is weakness, though she doesn’t want to receive any nosy questions. “It is late,” she says, starting to feel a bit too cold. At first she’d been warm enough from running, but they’ve been sitting here for a while.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you here,” Clarke says, eyes wide as she gets up. She knows Miss Woods wants to walk her back to make sure she’s safe, which is sweet. “This night didn’t go the way I thought it would,” she says, sighing. “Not that you’re not good company or anything. Ugh, I’m sorry… yikes. Don’t flunk me?”

“That would be unreasonable, Miss Griffin,” Lexa assures the girl.

“You could call me Clarke,” Clarke suggests, finding the formality strange. “Or not,” she adds quickly when Miss Woods remains stoic.

Lexa’s hand shoots out to steady the girl when she trips. She can tell that she’s all jittery and unfocused. “How did you expect your night to go?” she asks, sensing the girl has some things on her mind.

“Well, for starters I thought my boyfriend would be at the party,” Clarke answers, sighing. “The party that totally didn’t have alcohol,” she says quickly. Great, what the fuck? That’s not suspicious at all. “My best friend is so mean when it comes to my boyfriend and I don’t get it. He has been nothing but sweet and still she acts as if he’s some sort of devil.”

“You care for your friend’s opinion,” Lexa says as she walks Clarke back.

“Kind of, I guess,” Clarke replies, shrugging. “I mean, I would really like it if my best friend and my boyfriend would get along. They’re two people who mean a lot to me.”

Lexa nods, merely to let the girl know she’s been listening. She doesn’t always have much to say and when it comes to love she’s not great to talk to.

Clarke slips her hands in her pockets to protect them from the cold. She hadn’t intended to stay at the park for more than some minutes, but that changed with Miss Woods’ arrival. “How old were you when you started with martial arts?” she asks curiously. She can’t see Miss Woods’ figure that well with that far too large shirt, though she bets she has abs. The sweats and shirt create a different sight than the suits Miss Woods wears to teach.

“I was five,” Lexa answers, remembering it well.

“Five?” Clarke repeats, surprised. “No way, you must have been such a tiny dumpling.”

“Yes way,” Lexa says, because she really was only five when she had begun. “Uncle Gustus has a whole album of photographs to prove it.”

“I can’t say I’m convinced,” Clarke replies, smiling coyly. “Maybe you should show me those pictures.”

“If you pay attention in my class for the rest of your college years I shall consider it, Miss Griffin.”

As soon as Clarke had slipped into a comfortable casual playfulness, she snaps out of it. She caught word from other students that Miss Woods is uptight and at first she would have been quick to agree, but now that they’re walking around and talking she wouldn’t say Miss Woods is uptight. Misunderstood maybe, but not uptight.

Lexa is relieved when they’re near college. Her bones are aching from the way she’d been running earlier, though it’s unlikely she’ll be sleeping soon. Once she’s home she’ll get in bath to relax.

“Thank you for walking me back, Miss Woods,” Clarke says politely. “Have a good night.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is up and atom at five in the morning, fully dressed in grey sweatpants and a black shirt. She didn’t even get an hour of sleep, but it is fine. It’s not like she isn’t used to it. She throws an apple up in the air, catches it and takes a bite out of it. She’s not all that hungry so an apple will do for breakfast.

With her earphones in, she shuts her front door and makes her way to the park. It’s a sunny morning, which will do her tan good. For her arms at least, since the rest of her body aside from her face is covered. Once she reaches the park she spots a familiar girl on the same bench where she’d been sitting at night.

This time the girl seems to be caught up with a pencil in her hand, sketching absentmindedly. It’s surprising to see that the girl is awake so early. She decides not to approach her, given she doesn’t have a reason to. There’s no danger lurking around this time and she doesn’t want to disrupt her. Instead she opts to continue jogging.

Clarke looks up from her sketch to continue her drawing. Her eyebrows shoot up when she spots Miss Woods, given how early it is and surely she can’t have slept much. “Jogging again, Miss Woods?” she asks, though her professor’s outfit and the fact that she’s running already give that away.

Lexa stops in her tracks to look at the girl. “As I said, I like to stay in shape,” she answers. “You are up early,” she says, which probably she shouldn’t have. She doesn’t want the girl to question too much why she is up this early.

“I’m an early bird,” Clarke replies, smiling as she taps her pencil against her sketch. “The sunrise is beautiful and sometimes I come here to sketch.”

“May I see?” Lexa asks, gesturing at the girl’s sketch as she takes a step closer.

“Oh yes, I don’t mind,” Clarke answers, turning her sketch around so Miss Woods can see it. “I’m just an amateur though.”

Lexa’s eyes roam over the sketch, admiring every detail in it. The girl drew the sunrise and a piece of the park. “For an amateur you are quite skilled,” she says, complimenting the girl where it’s earned.

“I love to draw and paint, it’s my hobby,” Clarke says with a bright smile. “It would have been neat if I could make a living out of this.” Her smile drops as she sighs.

“What is stopping you?” Lexa asks as she sits down on the bench next to the girl. “You clearly seem to have a passion for it and talent. Those two combined can lead to a bright future.”

“My mother,” Clarke mumbles. “She has this image of how I would risk being a poor artist who would live on the streets, so it’s just a hobby.”

Lexa finds it saddening to hear that the girl is not following her passion. “I want to share something with you,” she says, taking a deep breath as she runs a hand through her hair. It’s going to be a long morning, though she has nowhere else to be today. “Growing up, my father wanted me to take over his business someday. When I told him it was my passion to teach, he laughed directly in my face. He didn’t believe in me, but others did and I did. I followed my passion because my future is my decision.”

Clarke is stunned by Miss Woods’ story, which has her hanging onto her lips. With the way Miss Woods teaches she would say it’s definitely in her blood.

Lexa grabs the girl’s hand. “When you have a flame within you, you don’t put it out,” she says as she closes the girl’s fingers around the pencil. “You nurture it so it can burn brighter.”

Clarke swallows thickly, unsure what to do. She wants to follow her passion, but her mother would be angry. She watches Miss Woods retrieving her hands and what she said is a powerful message.

“Perhaps your mother won’t believe in you, but I will,” Lexa says, wanting the best for all of her students. “The most important person to believe in you is yourself. If you believe in yourself, you will get far.”

“You’re very kind, Miss Woods,” Clarke says, appreciating it. “Not to discredit teachers, but most professors only seem to care on school grounds when they’re being paid for it. You’re different.”

Something in Lexa’s expressions cracks and she has to look away. She’s different.

_I can’t do different, Lex._

“Miss Woods,” Clarke says, worried that she hurt her somehow. She’d swear that stoic mask slipped for a second and revealed a raw pain. “Is it something I said?”

Lexa shakes her head, because technically it’s something Costia said. “I care about all my students and wish bright futures for them, Clarke,” she says, clicking the K with her tongue.

Clarke nearly drops her pencil, surprised to hear Miss Woods say her name. “If I ever do break through as an artist, I promise my first autographed piece will be for you,” she says, hoping to lighten the mood as she smiles.

“I will remember that,” Lexa replies while she gets up to continue her routine. “I do not forget.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is sitting behind her desk with several books opened while she’s trying to write a paper. Her professors seem to be giving her more work than they did last year. It’s been almost a month now and they have zero chill. She dove right into this paper the second she got back from her last class.

It’s nice and quiet in her room now that Octavia isn’t back yet. Her best friend has one more class, which gives her some time alone. Not that Octavia would be obnoxious because her friend does respect it when she needs silence.

She has made a habit of going to the park each morning in the weekends to sketch. Each time she sees Miss Woods jogging and sometimes Miss Woods joins her for a chat. If they keep running into each other like that she should buy her coffee, though she doesn’t want to be weird. There’s one conversation that really stuck and is inspiring her to follow her passion.

With a sigh, she puts her pen down and grabs her phone. She goes through her list of contacts until she finds the one she was looking for. The phone rings several times until it goes over into voicemail.

“Hey, dad, it’s me… Clarke,” she says, her voice cracking a bit against her will. “I’m sorry it’s been two years since I called and I’m sorry I changed my number. I’ve always kept your number though. We should meet up sometime and talk, if that’s okay? Call me back when you hear this.”

She hangs up and puts her phone away to continue writing her paper. Finn asked her to spend some time together, though he is currently in class. She told him she would consider going to his room in an hour when he’s done and when she’s further ahead with this paper. Squeezing him into her schedule won’t always be easy, though she doesn’t mind making time for her boyfriend.

She’s nearly done with her paper when the silence is disturbed as Octavia storms inside, which causes her to lose her concentration and jump up. So much for working on her paper in silence.

Thunder is written all over Octavia’s face and she looks like she’s ready to kill someone. “Clarke,” she says with a serious tone, which means that what she’s about to say is not a joke of any kind. “I have to tell you something about Finn and you’re not going to like it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sits back and relaxes* Good times. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grab some popcorn and get comfy.

“You asshole!” Clarke shouts angrily the second she enters Finn’s room. “You’ve been cheating on me this whole time!??” she asks, although it’s not really a question. She’s very angry, but that’s because the news hurt her.

Finn’s jaw drops and then he’s spluttering. “W-what?” he asks innocently. “I’m not cheating on you,” he denies.

“Don’t lie to me, Finn,” Clarke warns, holding her index finger out. It makes her even angrier that he’s denying it.

“Why do you think I’m cheating on you?”

“O told me that Raven told her she’s in a relationship with you,” Clarke says, pricking her index finger roughly against Finn’s chest. Her best friend had told her all about how she got talking with Raven earlier today during biochemistry and how the Latina had told Octavia dreamily about her boyfriend, Finn.

“And you believe her just like that??” Finn asks, his volume rising as he snaps his fingers. “I can’t believe you,” he scoffs. “You know Octavia has hated me since day one, so she’s making all of this up to break us up. I’m disappointed that you believe her without even asking me if it’s true.”

Octavia’s gut feeling is one thing, but Clarke knows for a fact that her best friend has never lied to her. “If O says Raven told her you’re dating her then I believe her,” she says sternly. “O’s been my best friend my whole life, so yes I do believe her,” she says, snapping her fingers, “just like that.”

“I know that she is your best friend, but she would probably do anything to make you dump me,” Finn says as he tries to put his hands on Clarke. “You have to believe me. I love you, you know that.”

It all makes sense now to Clarke why Finn doesn’t like public displays of affection and why he acted so weird about Raven. “We’re going to sort this out right now,” she says, grasping Finn by his ear.

“Ouch, Clarke,” Finn groans. “What the fuck!”

Clarke drags his sorry ass all the way to Raven’s room and walks in without as much as knocking. She gives Finn a push, causing him to stumble down and fall onto his knees.

Ontari raises an eyebrow while a smirk forms on her face.

“What the hell?” Raven says, her eyes shifting between Finn and Clarke. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Finn is dating you, right?”

“Yes, we’ve been together since high school,” Raven answers. She crosses her arms and taps her fingers against her skin. “What about it?”

“Oh fuck no,” Ontari says. She roughly grasps Finn’s chin. “You’re fucking cheating on her, aren’t you?” she asks, dropping his chin from her grip. She spins around and looks at Raven. “See, Rae, I fucking told ya.”

“I’ve been with Finn for nine months,” Clarke says with a scowl on her face. “I didn’t know he was also seeing you.”

“I love you both,” Finn says to Raven and Clarke. “The three of us could be together,” he suggests. “You’re both bi anyway.”

Raven slaps Finn hard. “We’re over!” she shouts.

It hits Clarke that Finn lied about Raven being straight. He simply wanted to avoid that she would find out that he’s cheating. What an asshole. “What she said,” she agrees with Raven.

Finn looks like a kicked puppy as he walks away.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” Clarke says to Raven.

“It’s not your fault,” Raven replies as tears fill her eyes.

Clarke does something she didn’t think she’d be doing. She pulls Raven into a hug to comfort her and rubs her back. Finn is the only one she’s angry with and herself for not having known.

“You babes wanna grab some drinks?” Ontari asks, leaning against the door. “Come, you both need it. My treat,” she offers. “By the way, Clarke, I like how you dragged that little bitch all the way here.”

Clarke nods as she rubs at her eyes. She thought Finn was such a sweet guy, but he was just a liar and a cheater. “Is it okay if I text my best friend to join?” she asks, given this situation is already awkward and she’d rather have Octavia by her side.

“Sure, go ahead,” Ontari answers. She turns to look at Raven. “Octavia’s that cute girl you have biochem with, right?”

Clarke sends a quick text to Octavia to invite her along. She lost her boyfriend today, but it looks like she might be getting two new friends. It sucks that Finn had been with Raven since high school. The Latina deserves better and fuck so does she.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is sitting in the cafeteria, enjoying a cup of coffee while she’s reading through papers from the freshmen. The coffee here is rather decent to drink, although she’s had better. Being a professor is a lot of work, but she’s dedicated to this job and her heart is in it. Teaching her students to help them towards a bright future gives her purpose.

“Hey,” Anya says, pulling a chair back to sit next to Lexa. “I can give you a hand with those if you want,” she offers.

“It’s okay, I’ll get through them,” Lexa replies, not necessarily needing help.

“You can eat over at my place tonight,” Anya offers, a soft smile on her face. “Luna bought fresh fish from the market.”

“Anya,” Lexa says, sighing. “I’m fine,” she says as she looks at her cousin.

“Okay, but try not to shovel too much onto your fork.”

“I tried to speak with Ontari on her first day,” Lexa says, which she hadn’t told Anya about yet. “It didn’t go so well.”

“She has a lot of pent up anger inside of her,” Anya replies, putting her hand on top of Lexa’s. “It’s not your fault. I know you’ve had a lot going on that she doesn’t know about.”

Lexa knows it’s not really her fault, though she should have done something months ago already. Even when things hadn’t ended with Costia yet she hadn’t really been there for Ontari. “Roan took her in,” she says, looking at Anya to see if she knows about that.

Anya nods. “Echo phoned me a few days to ask for some advice,” she says with a loud exhale. “She and Roan had a bit of a rough summer. She wanted to know what she can do for Ontari once the summer comes around again. I told her that if it gets too difficult, I could take Ontari in during the summer for a while, although I don’t want to jostle her around too much.”

“I offered something similar, though to Ontari instead of to Echo,” Lexa shares, which definitely didn’t go down well. “She thinks I pity her or that I want to treat her like a charity case.”

“Maybe it would benefit her if she can go back to those martial arts classes Nia had told her she couldn’t go to,” Anya suggests. “Did she tell you what happened during the summer?”

“No, only that she moved out,” Lexa answers, though the bruises she had seen on Ontari’s knuckles tell her it didn’t go down well. “What happened?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“This bar seems chill,” Clarke says, surprised that they actually got served. Usually when she goes somewhere they ask for her id and refuse to serve her.

“Grounders is the best,” Raven says to Clarke. “Anytime you want to drink, hands down this is the place to be.”

“I’ll remember that,” Clarke replies, definitely planning to come here whenever she can use a drink. “It’s nice of you both to sit here with us.”

“Yeah, what Clarke said,” Octavia says.

“After what you did you deserved it,” Ontari says to Clarke. “And you,” she says to Octavia, “I suppose you’re alright.”

“Thanks… I guess,” Octavia replies with hesitation.

“Finn is such an asshole,” Raven mumbles. “I can’t believe he’s been fucking us over like that,” she says to Clarke.

“O kept telling me she had a bad gut feeling about him, but I never listened,” Clarke shares with a sigh. She’s relieved that her best friend didn’t rub it in how right she turned out to be. “I was too blind.”

“I can relate to that,” Raven replies, nodding as she wraps long slender fingers around her glass. “Ri kept telling me Finn was bad news and that she had a feeling he was seeing someone. I just didn’t believe her. I don’t think I could because I didn’t want it to be true.”

“I’ll buy the next round,” Octavia offers.

“Like hell you will,” Ontari says to Octavia. “Reach for your wallet and I’ll cut your hand off.”

“What Ri means to say is that we got it covered,” Raven says, her tone softer than Ontari’s. “She’s kind of blunt and passive aggressive at times, but this bitch’s got a good heart.”

“True,” Ontari confirms. “Take it or leave it.”

“Is that a friend request?” Clarke asks, wanting to make sure she knows what’s happening.

“I think so,” Raven answers, raising her glass. “Cheers.”

Clarke copies Raven’s movement and then Octavia and Ontari do the same.

“To cheaters who need to choke,” Raven says.

Clarke nods in agreement. “To new friendships,” she says, offering her two cents.

“Cheers,” they say all at once.

Clarke feels miserable about her breakup with Finn, but she’ll be able to get through it with her best friend and her two new friends who are great girls. She wants to punch Finn in his fucking throat for Raven and for herself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alas she is single, for now. :)
> 
> Those who thought Clarke would go down the road of doubting Octavia; I'm judging you and I got my eyes on you. Such little trust in me. As if she'd believe that cracker over her best friend. Please.


	6. Chapter 6

Lexa sees her students walking in and she’s slightly surprised when Ontari takes a seat on the front row rather than at the back as usual. Her surprise is quickly increased when her cousin is grinning at something Clarke said.

Clarke has wriggled herself between Octavia and Ontari, making sure her best friend is sitting directly next to Raven. She knows Octavia still has a major crush on the Latina, though her best friend has been taking it easy and has resorted to being Raven’s friend. That’s understandable because the breakup with Finn is fresh.

“How can you dislike hugs?” Octavia asks Ontari. “Hugs are great.”

“It’s cheesy as fuck,” Ontari answers, grumbling.

“Ri’s more of a fist bump kind of gal,” Raven says.

“True that,” Ontari confirms, giving Raven finger guns. “Rae knows me like the back of her hand.”

“I agree with O that hugs are great,” Clarke says, smiling mischievously. “Which is why you should all get one, starting with you,” she says as she puts her arms around Ontari. Rebel or not, Ontari isn’t as scary as she appears.

“Argh, gross,” Ontari mutters, though she brings her arms up around Clarke.

“See, hugs are nice,” Clarke says, sighing quietly. She wonders if Ontari really hates hugs because her new friend is hugging her for dear life, like she’s been starving for a hug.

Lexa is baffled to see Clarke hugging Ontari and the fact that her cousin is hugging back. Anya would never believe this. A small smile tugs at her lips because Ontari is smiling and she can’t remember the last time her cousin had that kind of smile. Clarke is an interesting student, always sketching in the park during the weekends and now having befriended Ontari who is generally avoided like the plague by other students.

She doesn’t know what has prompted her cousin to become friends with Clarke or vice versa, though she can only cheer it on. Clarke can be a positive influence for Ontari and making friends is always good. She’s so focused on that beautiful moment that she nearly forgets she has a class to teach.

“Do y’all wanna hang at Grounders later?” Ontari asks quietly. “I got some smokes, if you’re interested.”

“I can’t,” Clarke answers, having to pass it up because she already has different plans. “I’ll join another time though.”

“I’m down for it,” Raven says, nodding at Ontari.

Octavia shifts nervously. “Same,” she says, nodding.

“Psst,” Jasper whispers, tapping Clarke’s shoulder.

Clarke turns around to look at him. “Yes?” she asks, hoping she’s not disturbing the class. Then again, Miss Woods has yet to begin.

Jasper’s eyes flit from Clarke to Ontari and then back to Clarke. “I’m throwing another party this weekend,” he whispers. “You should come and you can bring them too.”

“Cool, I’ll be there,” Clarke replies, ignoring the fact that Jasper is looking at Ontari as if he thinks she’s going to kill him. Her new friend can be rather intimidating, but she knows better by now. “I think we will all be there,” she corrects herself when her friends nod.

Lexa clears her throat to gather the attention of her students, who have chit chatted long enough.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke smiles as she runs until a pair of strong arms wrap around her. “Dad,” she says, crying because it’s been so long.

“My little girl,” Jake replies, not letting go. “I missed you so much and I can’t express how happy I was when I heard the voicemail you left me.”

Clarke takes a seat, seeing that her father already took the liberty of ordering two coffees. “How is Emily doing?” she asks, picking up the spoon to stir in her coffee.

“She is good,” Jake answers with a warm smile. “How have you been?”

“I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me, but other than that I’m fine,” Clarke answers. That wasn’t the news she thought she would be sharing when she had left that voicemail. “I’m not here to talk about that though,” she adds quickly.

“Emily and I want to invite you over for dinner sometime,” Jake says, seemingly respecting Clarke’s wish not to talk about the ex-boyfriend situation. “We bought a new house a few months ago, it’s nearby.”

Clarke isn’t sure yet if she’s ready to agree to that. It feels strange to see her father again after two years and yet it’s like no time has passed. Two years ago she cut contact with him because she was angry when he announced he was going to get married. Her parents divorced when she was eleven, which hadn’t been easy for her.

What made it worse was that apparently they hadn’t been together for several years when they told her they were getting divorced. That was a truth she wasn’t told about at first. She was angry because her father built a new life with someone and because he had started a second family. That made her feel like he had not only replaced her mother, but her as well.

There were discussions and doubts in the past that her father might have cheated on her mother, though he claimed that nothing happened with Emily before he broke up with her mother. She’d been a little angry at her mother at first as well, for having pretended they were still together up until she was eleven.

“I’ll think about it, dad,” Clarke says, smiling sadly as she stares down at her coffee. “I was thinking about doing something with art in the future,” she says, looking up to test her father’s reaction. Her mother for sure wouldn’t approve, but maybe he will. “It’s my passion.”

Jake smiles and reaches over the table to put his hand on top of Clarke’s. “When you were two years old I took you to a store and told you that you could have any toy you wanted,” he says with a fond look in his eyes. “It was a new store and they had a grand opening. Other children immediately ran towards the stuffed animals, the dolls, the toy cars and so on, but not you.”

Clarke doesn’t remember that because she doesn’t remember much from her really young years.

“You ran towards the area with art supplies and color books,” Jake continues. “I asked you if you wanted a color book, but you shook your head no. You put your hand on a canvas and smiled at me. I bought the canvas and some paint. When we got home you spent the rest of the afternoon painting with your hands. That’s the day I knew you would become an artist. I still have that painting. So if you want to do something with art, I’ll support you however I can.”

Clarke cries happy tears and wishes she could remember that day. It’s been two years and her father is here, supporting her dream. “Polis has an art program, but mom didn’t want me in it,” she says, hoping that maybe her mother will come around.

“I can try to talk to Abby,” Jake offers. “And I want to pay for your art program. It’s the least I can do.”

Clarke frowns when her father pulls an envelope out of his pocket and slides it towards her. “What’s this?” she asks, opening it.

“When you were growing up, I saved money for you,” Jake answers, smiling as his daughter gasps. “It was meant to be your college fund. I want you to have it and use it as you please.”

“This is more than five times my college tuition,” Clarke says, shocked. Her college tuition has already been paid by her mother. She hopes that her school will still let her join the art program even though this year has already begun and they might be full. “Thanks, dad,” she says with a bright smile.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa holds Adria’s hand tightly, even though she knows the little girl always looks before crossing the street. Luna is working late and Anya still had another class to teach, so she told them she could pick Adria up from school.

Adria smiles and swings her arm, causing Lexa’s arm to swing as well. “Can you braid my hair when we’re at your place?” she asks, batting her eyelashes.

“Once your homework is done,” Lexa answers thoughtfully. She knows that Anya and Luna prefer Adria doing her homework before dinner when possible. “What would you like for dinner?”

“Fish,” Adria answers with a beaming smile.

Lexa smiles back, though her smile isn’t anywhere near as bright as Adria’s. Her smiles are mostly strained and forced. Fish is the obvious answer because she knows the little girl likes fish a lot, which she gets from Luna.

“I’m letting my hair grow,” Adria says while she uses her free hand to play with her hair. “I want it to be as long as yours.”

Lexa listens as Adria babbles on about school, friends, her parents and how she’s been trying to get a dog. She knows that Anya is allergic, so it’s unlikely that Adria will get a dog. Allergies can be such a nuisance, truly. Personally she’s allergic to nuts, quite severely so.

When she was ten years old she nearly died because a boy in her class had given everyone cupcakes for his birthday. They had looked perfectly harmless, but it turned out there were traces of nuts in them. Her teacher back then had reacted fast and even personally drove her to the hospital. By the time she had arrived at the hospital she wasn’t breathing anymore.

On top of that, despite living a healthy life, she’s diabetic. She always carries an epipen with her, in case of emergencies. Usually she doesn’t need it, although so far she has needed it two times and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

She opens her front door to let Adria in. “I’ll start on dinner and meanwhile you can do your homework,” she says as she hangs her coat up. “You can sit with me in the kitchen if you want and if you need help, you can ask.”

“There’s a new girl in my class,” Adria says as she sits down at the table. “Her name is Tris and she’s my friend now. We talked about Harry Potter and she said she’s in Gryffindor because her last name is Griffin.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

Clarke turns around so Octavia can zip her dress up. She’s wearing a white dress, which stops right above her knees. The low cut reveals an ample amount of her cleavage. She’s going to enjoy the party and pretend like she didn’t get her heart broken recently. Her best friend was right, Finn is slimy and shady.

“You look good, Clarke,” Octavia appraises. “Can you zip me up too?” she asks, turning around while pointing at her back.

“Sure, O,” Clarke answers, making quick working of zipping her up. “Maybe you can dance with Rae tonight.”

“I’m nervous so I don’t know if I’ll ask,” Octavia replies, blushing. “If she asks me I won’t say no though.”

“I hope she asks then,” Clarke says, though she remembers Raven mentioning something about how she loves to dance.

“I kind of want to take things slow,” Octavia says, sighing deeply. “After what happened she doesn’t need someone hitting on her.”

Clarke nods because she can understand that. If someone would try to hit on her it would be a little insensitive, so Raven might feel the same way. It’s simply too recent. “You’re her friend, which is a start,” she points out.

“Yeah, who would have guessed? I mean, we’re even friends with Ontari and she’s actually kind of cool.”

“Ri is kind of hard on the outside, but much softer on the inside,” Clarke says, despite the fact that Ontari’s tongue can be like a blade. “I think we’re ready to go.”

“Yup, I sure am,” Octavia replies with a chipper tone.

Clarke opens the door and walks to the party with Octavia where they meet up with Raven and Ontari. “Hey, you started without us,” she says, feigning offense because they’re already drinking.

“That’s because you two are slowpokes,” Ontari replies, smirking.

“Arriving early is kind of lame though,” Octavia says teasingly.

“Hah,” Raven says, laughing as she nudges Ontari’s side. “I’m with O on this.”

“She indirectly called us losers though,” Ontari says.

“What,” Octavia says, gasping. “I… no,” she recoils. “That’s not what I meant.”

Clarke chuckles, feeling amused to see Ontari and Raven teasing Octavia. She grabs the first plastic cup she lays her eyes on. Her mission tonight is to dance until her feet hurt and to drink until she can drown her memories out.

“My favorite ladies!” Jasper shouts. He sways on his feet as he puts his arms around Octavia and Clarke.

“Hey, Jas,” Clarke replies, smelling a lot of alcohol in Jasper’s breath. “Do you have some moonshine for me?”

“That’s my girl,” Jasper answers, nodding.

“Keep dreaming, Jas,” Raven says, catching Clarke’s wrist. “She’s our girl.”

Clarke smiles as she’s pulled in a group hug with Raven, Ontari and Octavia. Hearing Ontari groaning and muttering expletives makes it even better. “You’re so grumpy, Ri,” she says, which in the past she would have never said.

“That’s because you’re all so damn cheesy,” Ontari replies, wiping at her arms as if she’s trying to cleanse herself. “I’ll be outside, I need a smoke.”

“I’m going to dance,” Raven says. “Who’s with me?”

Clarke pushes Octavia’s back, which makes her best friend involuntarily take a step towards Raven.

“Great,” Raven says, smiling as she grasps Octavia’s hand.

Octavia looks over her shoulder and looks as if she’s internally combusting.

Clarke gives Octavia a thumbs up when Raven isn’t looking. She cares about her best friend and about her new friend, and down the line they’d be good for each other. While her friends are busy, she resorts to drinking.

“Moonshine coming through,” Jasper says with a dramatic booming voice as if he’s holding a bomb. “Here you go, Griff.”

“Thanks, Jas,” Clarke replies, accepting the plastic cup. “You can keep them coming, I need to take the edge off.” She looks around at the party, scoffing when Finn isn’t anywhere, though she’s glad he isn’t because she doesn’t want to see him. “Thank god that piece of slime isn’t here.”

“Thank the boys,” Jasper says, grinning as he clinks his cup against Clarke’s.

Clarke turns her face and raises an eyebrow. “What did you do?” she asks curiously.

“I told the boys that if they’d see Finn they have to kick him out or else they wouldn’t get any booze or weed anymore,” Jasper answers with a wide proud grin. “He arrived here some minutes before you did and I have to say, he’s pretty fly for a white guy,” he says while pointing at a broken window.

Clarke gasps and covers her mouth with her hand. “They threw him out of the window?”

“I recorded it,” Monty says, showing up next to Clarke. He pulls his phone out and plays the video. “I’ll slow it down, watching it in slow motion makes it better.”

“I don’t know about this, guys,” Clarke says, sighing. “That’s basically bullying.”

“He’s a cheater,” Jasper replies. “He’s not welcome here.”

Clarke agrees with that, but she still doesn’t think it is right to go and throw Finn through a window, even though at times she thinks of pushing him under a bus. She drinks some more, with two drinks turning into four and four into eight. Through lidded eyes she looks at Octavia who is dancing with Raven and she’s happy to see they’re having fun. Ontari is dancing with some random girl whose name she doesn’t even know.

She cackles when some of the alcohol dribbles down her chin onto her dress. Her head hurts a bit, but at least she’s feeling fine. She slips away from the party while her friends are too busy to notice. Some fresh air might do her good and the music has gotten too loud anyway.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa punches her bathroom mirror again and again until it cracks. Her knuckles are bloodied now, but she doesn’t care. She shouldn’t have checked her mailbox, though sooner or later she would have anyway. It’s hardly been two months. Two months! Costia had the audacity to send her an invitation to her wedding, which clearly indicates she’s about to get married.

It hurts and it makes her angry that her ex is moving on so fast while she’s still in pieces. As if it wasn’t painful enough already to hear Costia say she was in love with someone else. She can’t wrap her head around it, around how fast her ex is jumping the ship to get married. There is no way she is going to Costia’s wedding. She knows that her ex would want to remain as friends, but she can’t cope with that.

_I’ve been seeing her a lot over the last year, but I swear nothing happened. I didn’t sleep with her, Lex. When she tried to kiss me, I stopped her because I knew I had to end things with you first. So this is me doing that._

She’s not going to respond to the invitation. It’s crazy that Costia, who always wanted to take things slow, is seriously about to get married. Okay sure, her ex has known that woman for over a year, but it’s still fast. What makes things ache even more is that she was thinking of proposing once they would reach the five years mark, but they never got that far.

There are tiny pieces of glass stuck in her knuckles, which she pulls out. She turns the knob of her sink to rinse the blood from her hands. Her white towel becomes stained by drops of blood. She sighs and slips a pair of gloves on to prepare further for her jog.

It’s late, way past two at night, but she doesn’t care. She needs to run, needs to feel her legs and her lungs burn. This time she’s wearing a loose shirt again, but her pants only reach to her knees. Her calves are muscular, which she doesn’t mind.

She’ll clean the mess in her bathroom up later when she’s back from her run. Right now she doesn’t want to see her reflection any longer because it’s only fueling her anger further. Four years and it all meant nothing to Costia while it meant everything to her. She has to get over it she knows that, but it’s going to take time. Receiving that wedding invitation only peeled the wound open again.

It’s very dark out and she’s so distracted that she crosses the street without looking, nearly getting scooped up by a car. She sighs and mutters apologies, which the driver can’t hear. This is madness, she needs to focus.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is swaying on her feet as she runs and cries. She’s not sure why she’s running exactly, though she does know why she’s crying. Drinking was supposed to make her feel better, but it didn’t. She’s not looking where she’s going when she crashes into someone, sending them both down to the ground.

Lexa’s breath is knocked out of her lungs as her back meets the ground. She’s about to be angry when the sight of sad blue eyes brimming with tears halts her of doing just that. There’s a strong smell of alcohol.

Clarke blinks her eyes a few times and blushes when she realizes she’s on top of Miss Woods, who she ran into. “Your eyes are so green,” she lulls, smiling as she puts her hands on her professor’s cheeks. “Soft,” she mumbles, tracing her jawline.

“How much did you drink, Clarke?” Lexa asks, concerned about how drunk the girl might be right now. Clarke’s fingers are soft as they trace her skin, but all of this is awkward. There’s sadness in those blue eyes and something else that she can’t place.

“Drink,” Clarke repeats, clicking her tongue. “I’ll buy you one.”

Lexa sighs quietly. “Can you get up?” she asks, feeling uncomfortable with lying down on the ground with the girl on top of her. Clarke’s face is far too close to hers, invading her personal space.

“So-sorry,” Clarke apologizes as she scrambles back up to her feet.

Lexa stands up and notices how wobbly Clarke is. It’s confusing to see the girl crying one moment and laughing the next, like she can’t decide if she wants to cry or laugh or both. “Are you alright?” she asks, her hands shooting out to steady the girl.

Clarke hiccups and frowns when gloved hands cover her wrists. She shakes her wrists loose and tries to put her hands on those gloves, but when Miss Woods flinches and hisses in pain, she flinches too.

“You shouldn’t be out here this late,” Lexa says, worried that the girl is alone again when it’s night. She doesn’t want to think about what could have happened if she hadn’t gone for a jog.

Clarke sags down to the ground and folds her hands under her head. “Goodnight,” she rasps, hiccupping again before closing her eyes.

“Clarke,” Lexa says, looking down at the girl. “You can’t sleep here. It’s not safe and you’ll be cold.”

Clarke doesn’t as much as stir.

“Unbelievable,” Lexa whispers while crouching down. She gently scoops Clarke into her arms and hoists her up with some trouble, because the girl isn’t cooperating at all. Her home is the closest to the park, so she decides to take Clarke there.

The girl’s arms and legs feel cold, which means she must already be somewhat undercooled. She walks home as fast as her legs allow her to. Once she’s inside she carries Clarke to her bedroom and tucks her in. She sits down on the edge of her bed and takes the girl’s right hand in her gloved ones to rub her hand warm. Then she repeats the movement with Clarke’s left hand.

That dress probably isn’t all too comfortable to sleep in, but the girl seems fast asleep and there’s no way she’s going to undress her. She did take Clarke’s shoes off, however. Pajamas would be a lot warmer, but she doesn’t want to do something inappropriate. Instead she puts some pajamas on her bed, in case the girl would wake up and would want to get changed.

She drapes an extra blanket over Clarke and leaves her bedroom to go sleep on the couch. Her bed is big enough for two, but it wouldn’t be right to share a bed with a student, even if it’s literally to sleep. Plus, she put the girl down on her side of the bed, leaving Costia’s side unslept as it has been ever since their breakup.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Lexa bites her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. She entered her bedroom to see if Clarke would be awake yet, only to find her sleeping on her ex’s side of the bed. It hurts her heart that she used to be able to watch Costia sleep. No, she’s over her. She has to be. Love is weakness.

Clarke’s chest is rising and falling gently. Her hair is tussled and spread like an angelic halo on the pillow. She looks peaceful as she sleeps.

Lexa thinks of leaving her bedroom to avoid being some kind of staring creep just when those blue eyes flutter open. “Good morning, Clarke,” she whispers, in case the girl has a massive headache.

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, rubbing at her eyes. She moves to sit up, feeling very confused as she realizes she’s still wearing her dress and this isn’t her bed. “Morning, Miss Woods,” she says, her voice rough with sleep. “Where am I?”

“You’re at my house,” Lexa answers, understanding that Clarke must be confused right now. “You were at the park last night, where I found you and you fell asleep. I brought you here and you slept.”

“I don’t really remember,” Clarke replies, whishing she could. “If this is your bed, where did you sleep?”

“On my couch,” Lexa answers, which isn’t exactly the most comfortable place.

“I’m sorry I burdened you,” Clarke says, sighing.

“You haven’t,” Lexa assures. “If you want to shower, my bathroom is the first door on the right. I can lend you some clothes and there is breakfast in case you’re hungry.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Clarke replies, finding it sweet that Miss Woods is being so caring. She notices her professor’s hands and frowns. “What happened to your hands?”

Lexa coughs and tries to hide her hands quickly, regretting that she forgot to put her gloves back on. “Nothing,” she answers, refusing to look at Clarke.

Clarke gets up from the bed and walks over to Miss Woods. “Let me see,” she says, making gestures with her hands for her professor to show her hands.

Lexa sighs and reveals her hands. “It’s nothing,” she insists.

“These wounds can get infected if they’re not properly looked after,” Clarke says, studying Miss Woods’ hands. “Do you have a medical kit? If not, I have one and I can come back with it.”

“I have one in my bathroom,” Lexa answers, surprised when Clarke walks away and returns with it. She doesn’t say a word as the girl tends to her hands. The antiseptic stings, though she doesn’t hiss.

When Clarke is done bandaging Lexa’s hands, she presses a kiss to them. “So they will heal faster,” she explains with a smile.

“Thank you, Clarke,” Lexa says respectfully. “How does your head feel?”

“Like I’ve been intimate with a wall,” Clarke answers, smiling when Miss Woods laughs. “I like your laugh,” she says before she can think better of it.

Lexa snaps her mouth shut and gets up to leave. “I’ll be in the kitchen with breakfast,” she says quietly. “There is aspirin in my bathroom if you want to take one.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke moves her fork around, feeling a bit uncomfortable with the silence. “So um… your mirror is broken,” she says, which she assumes Miss Woods broke.

“Yes,” Lexa replies stoically. Clarke has probably put two and two together by now. “I will be getting a new one.”

Clarke takes a few big gulps from the glass of water. Her head is pounding, but that’s her own fault for having drunk so much. “May I ask what your first name is?”

“Why do you wish to know?”

“Out of curiosity,” Clarke answers earnestly. “I won’t use your name in class or anything,” she promises.

Lexa looks up from her breakfast which she has hardly touched. “My name is Lexa,” she says, because it’s innocent enough. A name is just a name it’s not a major secret.

“Lexa,” Clarke repeats. “Is it short for something?”

“You are a curious girl,” Lexa notes. “My name is short for Alexandria. However, everyone calls me Lexa.”

“I should probably head back soon before my friends think I’m murdered,” Clarke jokes, although Lexa doesn’t seem to find that humoring. “I appreciate the hospitality you’ve given me. This breakfast is delicious.”

“You patched my hands up, so we are even,” Lexa replies, not wanting Clarke to feel as if she owes her.

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, supposing that’s true. “You live here alone?”

Lexa stares intensely at Clarke who is being curious again. “I do,” she answers dryly.

Clarke wonders if Lexa ever feels lonely to live all by herself. If she’d live alone she would probably feel quite lonely. Most of her professors are all married, but they’re older than Miss Woods and just because this particular professor lives alone doesn’t mean she’s not seeing anyone. There’s just something sad about Lexa.

Lexa quietly eats her breakfast before Clarke can ask questions about that as well. The girl looks good in her clothes. She had allowed Clarke to choose something and the girl chose a pair of black sweatpants and an old grey shirt from the high school she went to. That shirt has always been too loose for her because she wanted it that way, but for the girl it fits perfectly because her breasts are significantly bigger.

Sitting here, eating breakfast with a student feels a bit unorthodox. It’s been a while since she had someone around to eat breakfast with, so it’s not entirely unpleasant. Not that it’s unpleasant, but it feels akin to strange. She remembers the tears that had been pooling in Clarke’s eyes last night, which made that delicate laugh she heard on the first day seem like something in the past.

“How are you feeling, Clarke?”

Clarke’s eyes snap up to meet Lexa’s eyes, not having expected the sudden question. “My head is-” She cuts herself off when Miss Woods shakes her head ever so lightly, clearly not asking about her head. “I didn’t really have the best night,” she admits, sighing.

Lexa’s fingers tense around her fork when Clarke closes her eyes, worried that soon tears might follow. Comforting people has never been her strength. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asks, because listening is something she can do.

“It’s kind of stupid really,” Clarke answers. She wants to brush it off so she doesn’t look as pathetic as she feels. “My boyfriend was cheating on me, so I broke up with him. It turns out my best friend had been right all along to hate him,” she says, scoffing at how blind she used to be. “It’s not all sad though because I got two new friends out of it.”

“People have a tendency of ruining beautiful things,” Lexa says quietly, a forlorn look in her eyes. “It would be a shame if you would lose your laugh over a guy who doesn’t deserve you. What happened isn’t your fault. When you love someone, the good things are highlighted while the bad things are ignored.”

“Who ruined you?” Clarke blurts out. Her eyes widen in horror of what she asked while Lexa seems frozen. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” she splutters anxiously. “I was out of line. You just… something is wrong. Your hands… your broken mirror,” she explains.

Lexa puts her fork down and deeply breathes in and out. In and out. Clarke’s quick question sounded as if maybe she was calling her beautiful. She said people ruin beautiful things to which the girl asked who ruined her. “You should go,” she says, meeting Clarke’s gaze.

Clarke cleans her mouth with a napkin and nods. “I guess I’ll uh… see you around,” she says awkwardly as she pushes the chair back to get up. “I’ll wash your clothes and I’ll give them back to you as soon as I can.”

Lexa shakes her head. She has plenty of sweatpants and that shirt is an old one which looks a lot better on Clarke anyway. “Keep them,” she says quietly, like all the fight inside of her has left.

Clarke walks away and when the door clicks shut Lexa throws her plate off of her table, hearing it shatter onto the floor. The girl wasn’t wrong. Someone did ruin her and she hates that she let it happen.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke told her dad at least ten times that linner isn’t a thing. When he called her she told him she wouldn’t be able to make it in time for lunch, so he suggested she could have linner aka lunch and dinner. Her dad is such a goof sometimes, which she doesn’t mind. She knows he really wants to make amends for the time they lost and it’s not even his fault that they lost two years.

Her head feels a lot better by now and for the future parties she’ll probably keep the amount she drinks within certain limits. Octavia had been very worried by the time she had returned to her room. Her best friend said she searched the whole damn campus with Raven and Ontari, throughout the night.

She explained to Octavia that she would have warned her if she could have, but that she had fallen asleep. Her friends left it at that, aside from a lecture about how she shouldn’t ditch a party without warning them. Ontari had pulled her in a hug that was way too tight and had said _never scare me like that again_. Her friends were a tad overbearing, though she doesn’t blame them.

If one of her friends would suddenly be missing she’d be worried sick as well. She thinks back of the small amount of time she spent at Miss Woods’ place. That mirror clearly isn’t the only thing that’s broken. Not that Lexa is broken, but something inside of her seems to be. She had meant to show her that she cares and to offer her a shoulder. Instead she messed it up.

She knocks on the door and her fist is still mid-air when it swings open.

“Hello, Clarke,” Emily says with a pearly white smile. Her long dark blonde locks reach all the way down her back. She’s wearing a sunflower dress and her arms are tanned. “Please, come inside.”

Clarke feels another pang of guilt at how ridiculous she had been when she didn’t search contact with them for two years. Even when she still had contact with them, Emily had always been kind to her. “Thank you, Emily,” she says politely as she enters.

“Clarke,” Jake says, wrapping his strong arms around her.

“I need to breathe, dad,” Clarke replies, patting his back until he lets go. She looks at her half-siblings, who have grown since the last time she saw them.

Aden looks up at Clarke. “Do you hug?” he asks, like he isn’t sure if he’s allowed to hug her.

“Of course, as long as I can breathe,” Clarke answers, smiling encouragingly. She pulls Aden in a hug, who is twelve now and then does the same for Tris, who is eight by now. Time has gone by fast and seeing them in person makes her realize even more how much she missed. She hasn’t told her mother about all of this yet.

“Linner is ready,” Jake announces, smiling as he rubs his hands together.

“Linner still isn’t a thing, dad.”

 


	9. Chapter 9

Lexa turns the music of her radio up louder. Photographs are spread out over her table, torn away from her photo albums. Costia is in every single one of them. She should have thrown these away sooner, but she hadn’t been ready. A part of her still isn’t ready, although she needs to get rid of them. Her ex has moved on.

It’s October and Costia is getting married today. She stuck to her decision not to attend. When she told Anya about the invite, her cousin had snorted. What she did do was send her ex a polite letter to express she does not wish to have any kind of contact ever again and for her to respect that. If Costia would stay in her life her wounds wouldn’t get the chance to heal.

Her fireplace is burning and she even threw some extra wood on it to make it burn brighter. With each photograph she burns she feels lighter. There’s a picture of her ex smiling widely while her face is covered with cake from a prank Costia had pulled on her. She never liked pranks, but each time she looked at Costia she melted and forgave her right away.

She recently bought a new bed, which may seem ridiculous, but she couldn’t bear the memories of the old one. Now when she wakes up it still aches to wake up alone, although it’s not as bad as it used to be. Her bed is different and so are her sheets.

Anya and Luna had been worried about her hands, which are healed by now. Even Ontari had shown concern. Her family cares about her, she knows that much. She told them the truth of how receiving the invite to Costia’s wedding had caused her to punch her mirror. Ontari had looked shocked to hear that they’re no longer together and haven’t been since the summer.

The fire smolders, eating the photographs until they’re no more but ashes. Bit by bit she’s been doing better, in some way. She no longer jogs at night, aside from the weekends because during the weekends she jogs around the park to check if Clarke… or another student… is out there alone, drunk.

Each morning in the weekend when she jogs, Clarke is sitting on that same bench as always, even though the weather has grown colder. The girl is persistent with her passion to sketch, which is good. It’s four in the morning right now, which means she’ll go out to jog soon.

She cuts some fruit into pieces, feeling a tad dizzy which means her blood sugar must be low. Every once in a while she forgets until her body reminds her. She looks at her empty photo albums and puts them away. Someday she will fill them with new memories, better ones.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is sitting on the bench at the park as usual. She didn’t get much sleep, but that’s okay and she’d rather not break this routine she built. When she sees Lexa jogging, coming closer to the bench, she smiles and puts her sketchbook aside. She had been waiting for her, knowing she’d be here soon.

Lexa slows down when she sees Clarke standing up until she comes to a stop in front of the girl. “Good morning, Clarke,” she says, her voice rather formal.

Clarke is always amazed by the authority that radiates off of Lexa, even when she’s wearing such casual sweats and a shirt that she’s drowning in. Miss Woods would probably look very good in a tank top, but she assumes she likes to be comfortable and perhaps a tank top is too skintight for her taste. Oh right, a greeting.

“Good morning, Lexa,” Clarke says, snapping out of her thoughts. “I have good news to share.”

Lexa had already guessed as much from the joy on Clarke’s face. “Do tell,” she replies with the ghost of a smile on her lips.

“I got into the art program!” Clarke shouts happily. She gets so excited that she hugs Lexa without thinking. It isn’t until she feels how stiff Miss Woods is in her arms that she realizes her mistake. “Oh my gosh,” she says, dropping her arms as if burned. “I’m so, so, so sorry! I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking and I just… sorry.”

Lexa holds her hand up, but Clarke is still apologizing profusely. “Clarke,” she says to try and gather the girl’s attention. “Clarke,” she tries again.

Clarke stops talking. Her eyes shift nervously from Lexa to the bench and back.

“This is indeed good news,” Lexa says softly, happy to hear that Clarke is following her passion. She holds her arms open to give the girl a brief hug and when Clarke squeals about how happy she is that she got in she can’t help but smile.

“I wouldn’t have been in it without you,” Clarke says, a serious look in her eyes. “What you told me that one time on this bench inspired me. I want to thank you. Can I get you some coffee?”

Lexa’s first instinct is to decline, but she doesn’t want to ruin Clarke’s smile by rejecting her offer. “Coffee would be lovely,” she answers. “Perhaps I should go home and change first though,” she says, glancing down at her sweats.

“You don’t need a suit to grab a cup of coffee,” Clarke replies, amused that Lexa would dress up to go to a coffee shop.

“I have you know, I own jeans.”

“Which you buried at the back of your closet,” Clarke remarks. She’s seen them that time she was allowed to pick clothes to borrow, which in the end weren’t borrowed anymore.

“I said I own jeans,” Lexa points out. “I never said I favor them, Clarke.”

There’s a mild playfulness to Lexa’s voice which is a pleasant contrast with the stoic expressions Clarke sees a lot and she decides she likes it. Miss Woods is an intriguing woman and she can’t pinpoint why, but she wants to get to know her better.

On the way to the coffee shop, Lexa listens as Clarke talks about how she spoke with her father who is funding the art program for her. When the girl tells her about a half-brother named Aden and a half-sister named Tris, she remembers how Adria told her about Tris. It’s nice for Clarke that she managed to reconnect with her father and her siblings.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke watches how Lexa blows over her steamy cup of coffee. They’re sitting across from each other, facing one another. “Tell me something about you,” she says, leaving her coffee be for now so it can cool off.

“I am severely allergic to nuts,” Lexa shares. She understands that Clarke likely wants to talk a bit rather than sitting in silence the whole time. “As a child I nearly died because of my allergy.”

“That sounds rough,” Clarke says, relieved that Lexa didn’t die. Allergies can be such a pain and she’s thankful that she doesn’t really have any allergies. “I think health is very important to you because you jog a lot and as far as I’ve seen you eat healthy. You look very healthy.”

“The truth may surprise you,” Lexa replies, partially disagreeing. “It’s true that health is important to me,” she admits. “And I do jog a lot and watch what I eat. However, I’m diabetic.”

It does surprise Clarke to learn that Lexa is diabetic, but there’s always more to people than what is on the surface and it’s not tattooed on Miss Woods’ forehead that she’s diabetic. “I should probably live a bit healthier, but pizza is kind of my lifeline as a student,” she says, laughing lightly as Lexa smiles. “I mostly blame my roommate though. She’s the one who always talks me into ordering pizza.”

“Oh yes, it is not your fault at all,” Lexa says, keeping her voice and expressions serious. “I bet your roommate forces you to eat pizza.”

“Yup, you guessed it,” Clarke replies, grinning because it’s kind of fun when Lexa teases her. “I’m sensing she wants to force me to eat pizza tonight again. It’s been a few days so she probably is starting to experience withdrawal symptoms.”

Lexa shakes her head because Clarke is kind of a dork. The girl is also a fresh breath of air and welcome company. When Clarke talks she can practically hear the smile in her voice with the way she sounds more upbeat and overall more alive and happier. She can see those blue eyes twinkling in delight.

“Do you mind if I text my friends quickly?” Clarke asks, not wanting to be rude by being on her phone. “It’ll only take a second,” she says when Lexa nods. “I’m letting Octavia, Raven and Ontari know that pizza is on me tonight for our movie night.”

Lexa is happy to hear that her younger cousin is being involved in a movie night with friends. It’s probably doing Ontari a lot of good and she appreciates that Clarke befriended her. She doesn’t mention it though, because her cousin explicitly said she doesn’t want it to be known.

“Sorry about that,” Clarke says with an apologetic smile while tucking her phone away. “I’m all yours now.”

“Tell me something about yourself, Clarke,” Lexa says, feeling like it’s her turn. Not that she necessarily needs to ask given the girl seems to share things on her own accord from time to time.

“When I was fourteen I came out to my parents as bisexual,” Clarke says, because it’s a good memory. “Their reaction was simply finally, because apparently they already knew. My dad grabbed his guitar and began to sing the best of both worlds. He’s a goof.”

“He sounds like a nice man,” Lexa replies, hearing how fondly Clarke speaks of him. “Do you play any instruments?”

“I play some guitar, but very poorly,” Clarke answers, thinking of how rusty she is at it. Her dad had been trying to teach her several years ago, but she didn’t pick up much of it. “How about you?” she asks, now that they’re talking about instruments anyway.

“I know how to play guitar and piano,” Lexa answers, having been taught as a child. Her father was quite driven to sign her up for as many activities as he could. She often felt like he wanted her around as little as possible.

“So you have a black belt in martial arts, you play guitar and you play piano,” Clarke summarizes. “You’re a diverse woman,” she says, finding what she learned so far interesting. “Tell me more facts about you.”

Lexa takes a sip from her coffee, which has gotten significantly colder by now. Clarke has without a doubt a curious mind. “I am not a fan of pizza, unless it is homemade,” she says, preferring to make her own on the rare occasions she does eat pizza.

“I am shook,” Clarke replies, holding a hand to her chest. She leans lightly over the table and gestures at Lexa to lean in as well.

Lexa puts her cup of coffee aside and leans a bit over the table.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers in Miss Woods’ ear. “Are you... human?”

“You dork,” Lexa says, laughing despite herself. Suddenly in this moment, she forgets all about how miserable her day had begun and the fact that her ex is marrying someone today.

“Tony’s serves the best pizzas I’ve ever eaten,” Clarke says in all seriousness. “I can’t imagine someone not liking it.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

Clarke is sitting in between Raven and Ontari with Octavia sitting on Raven’s other side. They’re watching a horror movie, courtesy of Ontari who loves horror movies. Well, the majority of them are watching the movie while Octavia keeps ducking under the blanket. She thinks that’s a good thing for her best friend though, because Raven seems to think it’s adorable.

“Give me a slice of that pepperoni pizza, Ri,” Raven says, holding her hand out.

“We should’ve ordered two of these,” Ontari replies as she hands Raven a slice. “O, Clarke, want some?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Clarke answers, nodding her head at their other pizza.

“I think O is occupied hiding,” Raven says, chuckling as she pokes her finger in Octavia’s side.

Octavia shrieks before poking Raven back. “Tease,” she says, resting her head on Raven’s shoulder.

“I have my moments,” Raven replies, smirking. “You wouldn’t be able to handle my full tease mode though.”

“Oh really?”

Clarke holds her lips together to refrain from making a comment she’d regret. She’s happy for Octavia that she’s getting along so well with Raven and sometimes their behavior borders on flirting.

“Mhmm,” Raven hums, plucking at her slice of pizza. “You tipped your chair over the first time we spoke.”

“Oh my god,” Octavia says, gasping. “There was something off about that chair and I was distracted.”

“You two should fuck already,” Ontari mumbles. She sighs and shakes her head. “O, you’re so gay for Rae, it’s very obvious,” she says to Octavia. “Rae thinks you’re cute and I’m almost positive she digs you.”

“Shut up, Ri,” Raven groans, smacking a pillow in her face.

“Technically, I’m pansexual,” Octavia says to Ontari.

“I don’t hear any denial,” Ontari replies with a knowing smirk.

“Smooth, Ri,” Clarke says, shaking her head at Ontari’s bluntness. Of course it’s obvious that Octavia is crushing on Raven, but she’s not sure if Raven was actually aware of that.

“You know we’re friends, Ri,” Raven says. “You want to chill at Grounders sometime soon?” she asks Octavia.

“Sure, anytime you want,” Octavia answers, smiling at Raven.

“Okay, lesbians,” Ontari comments. “Can we watch the rest of the movie now?”

Clarke thinks of which movie she’ll choose the next time they have a movie night. They take turns when it comes to choosing a movie so they don’t have to argue for an hour or something to all agree on a movie. It’s easier this way and with this system they each get to see a movie of their choice once a month.

She’s usually quite the fan of romantic movies as cheesy as that may be, though for now she’d rather avoid romantic movies. Comedies are great too because those can make her laugh. Horror isn’t her favorite, not by far, although she doesn’t mind watching a horror movie from time to time. Disney movies are great as well, but she’s not sure if Raven and Ontari think so too.

“I’m going to throw a Halloween party this year,” Ontari announces when the end credits of the movie are rolling. “Everyone has to dress up as scary as possible because those with plain clothes won’t get entrance.”

“Maybe you could add a competition of sorts,” Clarke suggests, looking forward to the party already. “Like the one with the best costume or something wins something.”

“Oooh yeah, let’s do that,” Octavia says. “We can have a box where everyone gets to drop their vote about who has the best outfit.”

“I can mix us some Halloween cocktails,” Raven says. “I’ve worked as a bartender during the summer so I know what I’m doing.”

“You worked as a bartender?” Clarke asks Raven, surprised. “Aren’t you nineteen like the rest of us?”

“Yup, but they don’t care about that,” Raven answers. “Besides, it was at Grounders so they don’t even bat an eye.”

“Hmm, maybe I’ll dress up as a witch,” Clarke says, not sure yet.

“I don’t think you need to dress up for that,” Ontari replies with a teasing tone and a smirk.

“Fuck you, Ri,” Clarke grumbles, though she knows that Ontari is kidding.

Ontari shrugs. “If you want to,” she says, smirking again.

Clarke rolls her eyes and gives Ontari a push. It’s interesting that she befriended the rebel of the school. During Miss Woods’ classes she often catches her looking in the direction of her and her friends. One thing that has gotten her curious is how Lexa knew Ontari’s last name from the very first day, while that wasn’t the case for other students. She wonders if professors just pass information on or something about which students could be trouble.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Uncle Gus,” Lexa says, patting his back once again. “You can let go now.”

Gustus gently puts Lexa down again. “It’s been a while since you’ve been around,” he says with a gruff voice. “I heard about your breakup with Costia. I’m sorry, little Lex.”

“It is what it is,” Lexa says stoically, pushing her emotions down. By now her ex is married and it’s been about three months since they split up. “The past is gone. The future is waiting.”

“You look a little pale,” Gustus says, studying his niece’s face. “I made food if you’re hungry.”

Lexa shakes her head, not particularly feeling hungry. It’s difficult to work up an appetite, even when she tries. She eats out of necessity most of the time rather than out of hunger.

Gustus’ calloused hands grab Lexa’s smaller softer hands. “When is the last time you ate?” he asks with the fatherly concern he’s been showing his niece since she was a child.

Gustus has always been more of a father to Lexa than her actual father was. Her father had a sister who married Gustus. Shortly after Anya was born, her father’s sister passed away. The one thing she always had in common with her cousins is that they all grew up without a mother. Ontari’s mother was ill and died when she was a few years old. Her mother walked out on her and her father when she was five.

She would often ask her father why her mother had abandoned them and every time she would blame herself, thinking her mother didn’t love her for who she was. Her father had girlfriends sometimes, but never anything serious and most times she didn’t even catch their names. She spent more time living with her uncle Gustus than she spent time at home.

It must have been rough for her father that he lost both of his sisters. That’s also why her cousins and she all have a different last name because they inherited the surnames of their fathers. She never got to know Anya’s mother, who was already dead before she was born. She did know Ontari’s mother, who was such a kind soul and was her father’s baby sister.

Ontari’s father made the mistake of marrying Nia, a cruel woman who couldn’t care less about her younger cousin. At first Ontari was hiding the truth from her and from Anya, until it could no longer be hidden. Even though her younger cousin lives with Roan now, she did report Nia in the hopes she will receive a punishment of sorts.  

“I could eat a bite,” Lexa says, not wanting her uncle to worry needlessly. She can take care of herself, truly, but she knows that his heart is in the right place so she won’t get snappy about it.

“Roan called me today,” Gustus says as he leads Lexa towards the kitchen. “He said he and Echo are thinking about having a child, but there is one small problem.”

“They don’t have the space,” Lexa replies, sighing. She knows Roan has a spare room, which is taken by Ontari for when the summer vacation comes around. “I can make space for her,” she says, because she has two rooms which are currently used for other purposes. One is her study, which she uses when she needs to prepare things for her students. The second room is empty for the most part, aside from some boxes. She can easily turn the latter into a bedroom for her younger cousin by the time summer comes around.

“I told Roan I can offer Ontari a room and Anya is willing to do the same,” Gustus says while he puts the food on the table. “We decided that we will let Ontari choose who she wants to live with during the summer vacation.”

“That is fair,” Lexa says, nodding in agreement.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is yawning because she’s so damn sleepy. She stayed up half the night with her friends and when she snuck out at five in the morning to go to the park Octavia had asked her where the hell she was going. Her best friend had been hardly aware of the fact that she spends her mornings in the weekends at the park to sketch. Generally, Octavia is still sleeping when she returns.

“You’re not going to fall asleep in the park again, are you?”

Clarke looks up at Lexa, who is mostly stoic save from the hint of a smile. “There goes my plan of napping,” she answers, smiling as Miss Woods smiles too.

“I didn’t know you were a bear who is trying to hibernate,” Lexa jests. The blue hoodie Clarke is wearing looks very warm and comfortable, so at least she won’t have to worry about the girl being cold. “Most people avoid the park by now,” she says, because the weather has a frosty bite to it.

“I thought having me here in the weekends was making your weekends brighter,” Clarke replies, scooting a bit on the bench so Lexa can sit down next to her. She was sitting in the middle at first and she knows there’s always a small distance. If she hadn’t moved aside their legs would be touching.

Lexa shivers as she sits down. Now that she stopped running she can feel the cold bugging her exposed arms.

“You’re freezing,” Clarke says, frowning. She puts her sketchbook down and reaches out for Lexa’s hands, which feel quite cold. “Here,” she says as she slips Miss Woods’ hands in the pocket of her hoodie. “Is this weird?” she asks when Lexa’s posture appears rigid.

The obvious answer for Lexa would be yes, because it is weird, though at the same time it’s not entirely weird. She pulls her hands away because if she doesn’t want to be cold she should wear a hoodie to jog. “I’m going to grab a cup of coffee,” she says as she moves to stand up. “Do you want to accompany me?”

“Mhmm. Yes, coffee sounds good,” Clarke answers, not wasting a single second to get up. “That’s exactly what I need to wake up.”

Lexa settles for walking, although she would have preferred to run. She’s not going to make Clarke run this early in the morning, especially not when the girl is yawning non-stop.

“Next time it’s my treat again though,” Clarke says as they reach the coffee shop.

Lexa holds the door open to let Clarke enter first. She’s not sure what to say about the fact that the girl assumes there will be a next time. With the current cold it would be welcome and Clarke’s company isn’t insufferable.

 


	11. Chapter 11

“Hello, you should try our new cookies,” the barista says with a friendly smile, holding out a tray with cookies. “These are free samples and we are selling them two for the price of one.”

“Cookies,” Clarke says, eagerly taking one because she’s hungry. “Are there nuts in these cookies?”

Lexa is surprised to hear that Clarke remembers the fact that she’s allergic to nuts. She wasn’t going to eat from the cookies anyway because it’s early and all she wants is a cup of coffee, but the girl is so caught up in it that she just lets her be. It’s a little unusual to witness Clarke looking out for her.

_I forgot you’re allergic to nuts, Lex. It’s not like I smeared peanut butter on every sandwich on purpose._

“Free samples are nice, but you should mention there are nuts in them,” Clarke says to the barista, not meaning to sound rude. “Some people are allergic and by the sight of these cookies you can’t tell they contain nuts.”

Lexa addresses the second barista and pays for two coffees, amused that Clarke is still on about the cookies by the time the other barista hands her their coffee. She clears her throat, which has the girl looking at her. “Coffee?” she asks, holding one of the cups out to her.

“Err, yes,” Clarke answers, blushing when she realizes people are staring. “I think I uh… made the message clear by now.”

Lexa contains a chuckle when she hears the barista with the tray of cookies address another customer, listing all the ingredients down to the pinch of salt. “Yes, I believe so,” she agrees. It’s somewhat unsettling that she spent four years being in a relationship with Costia who constantly kept forgetting the fact that she’s allergic to nuts while Clarke remembered. That tells her enough about how little her ex cared about her. People can forget things, but a severe allergy is not a minor detail. It’s literally life or death for her.

Clarke pulls a chair back for Lexa, considering the door had been held open for her when they entered. Finn never had that kind of courtesy, most of the times he’d even let the door close right in front of her. Comparing Miss Woods to her shitty ex doesn’t do her justice. Lexa is sweet, polite, caring and many other things which Finn isn’t. The bubble she’d been living in sure has burst.

“May I see your sketches, Clarke?” Lexa asks, nodding her head in the direction of the sketchbook that’s placed on the table.

“Of course,” Clarke answers, smiling as she slides her sketchbook towards Lexa. It’s sweet how Miss Woods shows a genuine interest in her passion. “I’ve been trying to sketch that tree that’s near the lake. I know the leaves have fallen, but that’s just a part of the beauty because at first I sketched the tree with leaves and now without leaves. Eventually I’ll sketch it when it’s covered in some snow and then when it blossoms again in spring,” she rambles, getting a bit carried away.

“Your eye for detail is remarkable,” Lexa says approvingly. She’s not an art critic of any kind, though she believes Clarke has potential to take her passion very far. If the girl has her artwork in a gallery someday she wouldn’t be surprised. She skims through each sketch and pauses when she sees one that’s a pair of green eyes.

“I uh, this one isn’t finished yet,” Clarke says awkwardly as she closes her sketchbook. She tries not to blush now that she’s been caught. It’s just that Lexa’s eyes are such a special intense shade of green which she wanted to capture on paper. She’s been drawing Miss Woods’ eyes from her memories, from each time she was close enough to look into her eyes.

Lexa can see how flustered Clarke is, which is cute. “Are you trying to draw me like one of your French girls?” she asks teasingly as she raises an eyebrow. The opportunity was there so she seized it because she couldn’t have resisted even if she tried.

Clarke’s mouth falls open the slightest bit, stunned that Lexa is teasing her like that. Each time Miss Woods is being playful she gets to see another side of her and it’s like in those moments the pain fades away from her eyes. “If I ever need a model, you’ll be the first I’ll contact,” she assures with a wink.

“I thought models are supposed to look….” Lexa doesn’t finish her sentence and sighs as she averts her eyes. Her tongue had gotten too loose and led her to slip up. Models are beautiful, while she is… different.

_The woman I met is really beautiful, Lex. She isn’t anything like you. I mean… I’m not saying you’re not beautiful, but you’re not really a woman._

Clarke’s eyebrows knit together because she doesn’t understand how Lexa went from smiling to looking like she’s about to tear up. She has a feeling Miss Woods zones out every once in a while. “Models are supposed to look what?” she asks gently, tilting her head to the side.

Lexa swallows and slowly drags her eyes back to Clarke’s. “I’m a professor, not a model,” she answers tentatively.

“Your looks could have fooled me on that one,” Clarke replies without thinking, even adding a wink. Dammit, what is she doing? She blurted it out because it’s the truth. Now she really fucked up because Lexa’s eyes are wide and oh god she wants to disappear. She hadn’t meant to make a flirty comment.

Lexa’s eyes don’t leave Clarke as the girl empties her cup of coffee in a record time. She can’t believe that the girl honestly compared her to models and basically called her one. The way those words left Clarke’s mouth so effortlessly and the blush that’s reaching down to her neck tells her that the girl truly meant it. She’s not unattractive, which means people could be attracted to her, though once her secret is out in the open that can change.

“I have to go,” Clarke says, scrambling up. She has embarrassed herself more than enough and Lexa still hasn’t spoken. It’s like she broke her professor with her comment that sounded flirtier than it should have. She could have said how she looks good for a professor, but no, she just had to blurt the first thought that came to her mind out. “I have school stuff I need to do and I’ll see you around in class and such.”

Lexa nods and exhales as Clarke leaves. Maybe she should have said something, but she didn’t know what. It’s a good thing that the girl left because she was starting to look very uncomfortable very fast.

_Someone will be attracted to you someday, Lex. That person just isn’t me. But really, someone will love you for exactly who you are. I’ll burn some candles for you, for good luck._

Lexa had been so passive, frozen in place, that she couldn’t even scoff at Costia wanting to light candles. Each time she lit candles for romantic moments it was dismissed. She doesn’t need her ex doing anything to wish her luck. It was a sucker punch in the gut that she spent four years with someone, thinking she was loved for precisely who she is.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I know I should have told you sooner, mom,” Clarke says, sighing into her phone. It’s frustrating how quickly her mother went on a rant when she told her. “I missed dad, so I called him and he’s paying for my art program so that’s not something you have to worry about.”

_“I don’t mind that you have contact with your father again, Clarke. He is your father after all. What I do mind is that you hadn’t informed me you were going to join the art program. It’s nearly the end of October and now you’re telling me this?”_

“Better late than never, right?” Clarke asks, hoping to steer her mother away from arguing with her.

_“This is serious. You should have told me. You know how I feel about this.”_

“It’s my passion, mom,” Clarke replies, groaning. “Why are you so against me wanting to follow my dream?”

_“I’m not against you. I’m trying to protect you because you can’t turn your hobby into your job.”_

“I can because….” Clarke pauses and takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I believe I can and it’s more than a hobby, it’s my passion. When I draw or paint I feel… happier, I feel more like me.”

_“You’re not thinking straight.”_

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious, mom.”

_“Clarke Griffin, this is not a joke! Do not get sassy with me, young lady.”_

“I thought about this, many times,” Clarke says, wanting to stick to art. “There’s this large part of me which wants to become an artist and I can no longer push it down because this isn’t some silly dream.”

_“You’re going to drop out of that program immediately and focus on your other classes.”_

“I’m not dropping out,” Clarke replies sternly, standing her ground. “This is what I want, for me, and I’m not going to give up on it. You can’t control my future, mom. If I become a nurse like you I’ll be miserable and I would spend every day wishing I would have followed my heart. I may not become a hero who saves lives like you do, but instead I’m taking the chance of becoming who I want to be.”

_“You’re good at drawing and painting, but the world is harsh, Clarke. As your mother, I’m trying to protect you and I’m trying to steer you towards a fruitful future. I don’t want to see you end up on the streets.”_

Clarke can hear how desperate her mother is starting to sound. At first there was anger, but now it’s all concern. “I’m not a little girl anymore, mom. I know you always held my hand when I was little and patched my wounds up each time I’d fall and scrape my knee, for which I love you,” she says, never going to forget her childhood. “But I’m an adult now. You have to let me go. I don’t need your hand to hold me anymore. Perhaps I will fall a few times, but you have to trust me that I know how to get back up again on my own and I know how to patch my wounds.”

_“You’re taking a risk and adult or not, as your mother it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, even if it means keeping you safe from yourself. Someday when you have children you’ll understand. You need to step out of that art program or you won’t be welcome in my house anymore.”_

Clarke’s jaw is ajar as she drops her phone, shocked that her mother would kick her out like that purely because she is in that art program. It’s not even affecting her classes and she didn’t drop anything. That art program is something extra that she’s doing for herself, for her future. Tears roll down her cheeks as she picks her phone up again.

“You’re wrong, mom,” she breathes into her phone. “You don’t believe in me when it comes to art, but I do. I believe I can do this. Where there is a will there is a way. I’ll stay at dad’s place for the holidays and the summer break.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

Lexa watches with interested how excited Adria is now that Halloween is coming up, although she bets the little girl is mostly in it for the candy. Anya had called her to ask if she wanted to come over because Luna is working and her cousin is going to a store with Adria to shop for a costume.

“I wonder if I can convince Ontari again this year to go trick or treating with Adria,” Anya says as she grabs her purse and her keys.

Lexa still struggles to imagine Ontari trick or treating with Adria and if it wasn’t for the pictures from last year she would have never believed it. “If she says no I wouldn’t mind volunteering,” she offers. It’s not like she’ll have much else to do and she’s been trying to have more contact with her family again.

“Tris is going with me this year,” Adria announces happily. “Her older brother, Aden, is going to come with us too.”

“That sounds nice,” Lexa replies, holding her hand out so Adria can take it. “Are you all set?”

“Yes,” Adria answers, zipping her coat shut.

“Wait, sweetie,” Anya says to her daughter. “Don’t forget your scarf. It’s cold outside.”

“What do you want to dress up as?” Lexa asks Adria. “A princess, a fairy?”

“No, silly,” Adria answers, laughing. “I want to look scary, not cute.”

“Scary cute maybe,” Lexa teases, smiling when Adria pouts.

“Having fun picking on someone half your size?” Anya asks Lexa, crossing her arms over her chest, though there’s no trace of disapproval on her face.

“I think she gets her cuteness from you,” Lexa answers, tapping her chin in thought. “Yes, definitely from you.”

“It’s a good thing you jog a lot,” Anya replies, getting into a running position.

“There is no way I am going to run in my suit,” Lexa says, shaking her head. “This suit is new, mind you.”

“I would join you to jog, but you get up incredibly early,” Anya says.

Lexa knows that her cousin can’t possibly join her to jog because she has Luna and Adria. That’s okay with her though, since she prefers to run alone anyway. During the week it’s somewhat lonely sometimes, especially when she goes to the coffee shop by herself, but in the weekends she sees Clarke. Seeing the girl warms her heart a little, knowing that she managed to inspire someone to follow their passion.

She’d been distraught when Clarke told her about the negative phone call she had with her mother. It’s such a shame that the girl’s mother isn’t being supportive and she knows firsthand what that’s like, having experienced something very similar with her father when it came to teaching. Clarke is such a brave girl for holding her head up high and standing her ground.

“Earth to Lexa,” Anya says, snapping her fingers in front of her face. “We’ve arrived at the store.”

The store is big and crowded, divided into two large sections. One section is almost all black and full of scary costumes while the other section is mostly pink and purple. The latter seems to be crowded by little children while the former has more teenagers wandering around.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hands down, I’m going as batgirl,” Raven says, pulling a custom out of the rack.

“Same as you did last year then,” Ontari mumbles to Raven. “I’m not surprised.”

“You’ll look hot,” Octavia says to Raven. “I think I’ll go as a voodoo doll.”

Clarke isn’t sure if she’s hearing right, but it sounds as if Raven whispered that she wouldn’t mind Octavia possessing her. She could be wrong because there’s a lot of noise around them.

“I’ll probably go as a naughty nun,” Ontari says, skimming her fingers through a row of costumes. “What about you, Clarke? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Before Clarke can even respond, Raven’s hand is on her shoulder and the Latina is looking at her like she’s asking if she’s okay. “I’ll go as little red riding hood,” she says, smiling as her friends smile at her. “The sexy version of course, so I can show Finn what he’s missing out on.”

“I like your spirit,” Raven replies, nodding. “By the way, Ri, should we bring dates to that party?”

“Eh, if you want to,” Ontari answers while shrugging. “I don’t really give a fuck if people come alone or not.”

“In that case I’m going to bring a date,” Raven says, sounding resolute.

Clarke glances at Octavia, who is looking at the floor now. She nudges her best friend when she sees Raven staring at Octavia.

“So, you’re like cute and all,” Raven says to Octavia. “Do you want to be my date on Halloween?”

Octavia squeals out of joy and flings her arms around Raven’s neck.

Clarke chuckles, finding it sweet and amusing that Raven asked Octavia to be her date when dates aren’t even required. It’s kind of romantic and not so romantic at the same time to ask someone out for Halloween. She’ll cross her fingers for them.

“I’ve got a question for you, but it’s just a friend’s thing,” Ontari says to Clarke.

“Okay,” Clarke replies, frowning. “What is it?”

“Do you want to be my date for my Halloween party?”

It sounds good to Clarke that she can go with Ontari and she knows it’s purely a friendship thing rather than an actual date. “Sure,” she answers and the word hardly left her mouth when a little girl jumps into Ontari’s arms.

“Sorry about that,” Anya apologizes to Ontari. “Adria is happy to see you.”

Clarke turns around, coming eye to eye with Lexa.

“Do you know them?” Octavia asks Ontari.

“Uh yeah, I guess,” Ontari answers, coughing. “Miss Woods and Miss Forest are my cousins,” she reveals.

“No way,” Clarke says, stunned. “I mean, that’s nice.”

“If any of you tells anyone you’re going to be in trouble,” Ontari warns. “I’m not kidding around about this.”

Lexa hadn’t expected to run into her younger cousin, which definitely wasn’t on purpose. She’s surprised that Ontari asked Clarke out, but another thing she always had in common with her cousins aside from the lack of a mother is that they’re all into women.

“Are you going to trick or treat with me this year?” Adria asks Ontari with a hopeful smile. “Please?”

“Awe, that’s so cute,” Raven says.

“Shut up,” Ontari grumbles to Raven. “I don’t think I can this year, Adria.”

“This might sound weird, but maybe I can take Adria trick or treating,” Clarke offers, which has them all looking at her. The Halloween party Ontari is throwing is late anyway, so by then the kids would be off the streets already. “I’m going trick or treating with Tris and Aden, my younger siblings.”

“They’re my friends,” Adria says with a broad smile.

“I will go as well,” Lexa says to Anya, knowing that her cousin would be more comfortable with that.

“Okay,” Anya agrees. “Adria can go trick or treating with you and with…”

“Clarke Griffin,” Clarke fills in, beating Lexa to it. “We could meet up at the park on Halloween around six, if that’s okay with you, Miss Woods.”

Lexa nods and doesn’t say another word. She looks briefly at Ontari before taking her leave with Anya and Adria.

“Ew, you’re going to trick or treat with my cousin,” Ontari says to Clarke, scrunching her nose up.

“Technically I’m going to trick or treat with my siblings,” Clarke corrects. “I just offered Adria could join because I’ll be babysitting anyway and I guess it’s more comfortable for them when Miss Woods is there too.”

“I think it is sweet you’re doing that for your siblings,” Octavia says. “And that you offered to watch Ri’s family as well.”

“Yeah,” Raven says. “How could you say no to that little girl, Ri? Didn’t you see her face?”

“I have too much stuff to do to prepare for the party,” Ontari answers. “If I said no for my ego I wouldn’t have dressed like a damn leprechaun last year.”

“Pictures or that didn’t happen,” Clarke says, laughing when Ontari slaps her arm. “Did you carry a pot of gold?”

“I’d say she wouldn’t need to,” Raven says. “The thought of Ri wearing that kind of costume is golden.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is sitting on her usual bench at the park where she knows Lexa will easily find her. It is a few minutes before six, so she should be here soon. Her brother is dressed up as Frankenstein and her sister is dressed up as a witch. They have plastic pumpkin baskets to collect the candy they’ll be getting soon.

Lexa arrives with Adria, who is clad like a witch, exactly like Tris. She finds herself staring at Clarke, who looks very good as the dark version of little red riding hood. Her eyes zero in on the girl’s generous cleavage. She’s used to see Clarke in casual clothes.

Clarke forgets how to breathe for two reasons. The first reason being the fact that Lexa is without a doubt checking her out, and hasn’t even said a word yet. She can see how those green eyes drink her body in, which is flattering. The second reason has everything to do with what Miss Woods is wearing because Jesus Christ does it make her mind go places.

Lexa is clad as a vampire police officer with a baton and cuffs included as accessories. She couldn’t quite decide between the two, hence she went with both. There’s some fake blood on her chin, which is actually some kind of red sugary syrup and she has fake fangs in her mouth. Perhaps she looks stupid with this mixture of two costumes.

“Can we go now?” Tris asks impatiently as she tugs at her sister’s hand.

“Yes,” Clarke answers, smiling as she gets up. “We’ll walk behind you,” she says as she watches Tris reach out for Adria.

Lexa lets the children walk a little bit ahead while she stays behind them with Clarke. She thinks it’s going to be silent, but then the girl is gripping her arm and there’s a hot breath near her ear.

“I just need to say this,” Clarke husks, keeping her voice down. “You look sexy.”

Lexa’s breath catches and she hopes Clarke hasn’t heard. “So do you, Clarke,” she whispers, letting her eyes rake down the girl’s body before snapping them up to meet her eyes.

Clarke likes how the light of the nearby lantern flickers in Lexa’s eyes. “No artwork could ever do your eyes justice,” she whispers, bringing a hand up to caress Miss Woods’ cheek. She can’t help it; something about those greens draws her in. “You are art. I should just put you in a gallery.”

“That is oddly charming of you to say,” Lexa whispers. She doesn’t pull away from Clarke’s touch, because it feels warm. “Are you trying to get me to bite?”

Clarke’s lips curl up into a smile at the double implication. She wasn’t intentionally trying to woo Lexa, but now she’s not sure. “I can’t say I’d be opposed to the idea,” she answers thoughtfully.  She doesn’t miss the subtle, not so subtle, hitch in Miss Woods’ breath.

“Clarke!” Tris shouts, waving from where she’s standing next to Adria and Aden. “Hurry up, we want candy!”

Lexa is relieved that the children are with them because it felt like they were starting to play with fire. It’s also her fault because she’s guilty for having played into it. There was no need for her to ask Clarke if she was trying to get her to bite.

“We should hurry,” Clarke says to Lexa. “Before she bewitches us,” she adds with a wink.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, y'all get the next chapter already. Enjoy :)

“Trick or treat!!”

“They shout louder than other children do,” Lexa says to Clarke from where they’re standing next to the mailbox, referring to Tris and Adria. It seems better to let the children go up to each door alone and observe them from a small distance.

“True,” Clarke agrees. “I think they’re very excited about Halloween,” she says, glad to see they’re having fun. “Aden is more of the quiet type though.”

“When does the Halloween party begin?” Lexa asks out of curiosity. She wouldn’t want Clarke to miss a part of it to babysit because she can easily watch the children by herself.

“Ri said it starts at nine, which means I’m expected to be there around ten,” Clarke answers, though she wouldn’t mind if it takes a bit longer to get there. “I told Emily I would bring Aden and Tris home by nine.”

“Emily?”

“My stepmother,” Clarke clarifies. “She’s really sweet.”

“Anya didn’t give me a time for Adria, though nine sounds reasonable.”

“Next house,” Adria says as she marches towards it.

“Aye, aye captain,” Clarke says, saluting Adria.

“We’re witches,” Tris says to her sister, rolling her eyes.

“Shut up, Lexa,” Clarke mumbles when she hears her chuckling.

“Make me,” Lexa replies, which she regrets right away. Of course she fell right into that one because it’s so easy to let those words slip when someone says shut up.

Clarke reaches out for Lexa’s belt, grasping the cuffs. She clasps one around Miss Woods’ wrist. “You are under arrest,” she says with a confident smile. “Anything you say can be used against you.”

Lexa has to admit that it’s a cute way of shutting her up, although she wouldn’t admit that aloud. “You would not do well capturing criminals, little red riding hood,” she says, glancing down at her other wrist which is not cuffed yet.

“Chocolate!” Tris cheers, holding the candy bar up in victory.

“Next house,” Adria says, pulling Tris along with her while Aden simply follows.

Clarke clicks the other cuff around her own wrist. “There, I got you now,” she says to Lexa. She’s enjoying this a little bit too much because she shouldn’t think about wanting to lean in to kiss Miss Woods.

“Are you certain?” Lexa asks, freeing herself easily from the cuff by clicking the button on the side. “Would you look at that, I am also Houdini,” she says, showing Clarke her free wrists.

Clarke laughs because she’s having a good time with Lexa and those green eyes are looking at her as if Miss Woods wants to pin her against the nearest wall. “You may be Houdini, but I’m not so convinced yet about you being a police officer and a vampire,” she says, taking a step closer towards Lexa while the children are trick or treating at the next house.

Lexa wants to hear Clarke laugh more. It’s easily one of her favorite sounds, just because it’s so light and joyful. She knows the girl is challenging her, which is playing with fire. “I see,” she whispers, clicking the second cuff around Clarke’s wrist while the girl isn’t paying attention. “Clarke.”

Clarke’s knees feel a little weak due to Lexa’s voice sounding raspy. “Yes, Lexa?” she asks, considering doing something she probably shouldn’t do.

“You,” Lexa whispers as she takes a step closer, causing the tips of her shoes to touch the tips of Clarke’s shoes, “are,” she continues, leaning closer, “under,” she whispers near the girl’s ear, “arrest.”

Clarke gasps and then Lexa is stepping away from her with a smile on her face. “Tease!” she calls out.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I thought you said ten!?” Clarke asks Ontari, shouting to get above the beats of the music.

“People were eager!” Ontari answers, shouting directly into Clarke’s ear.

“It wasn’t even nine yet when people showed up!” Octavia shouts.

“Try my cocktails!” Raven shouts to Clarke, pushing a cup in her hands. “I call this one black death!”

Clarke peers down into her cup at the black liquid. “What even is this!?” she asks, not particularly finding it appealing so far.

“Relax!” Ontari answers. “Rae used something to color it black, it’s not poison or anything!”

“Be careful though!” Octavia warns. “That stuff is stronger than Jasper’s moonshine!”

“One cup it is then,” Clarke mumbles. She’s not going to drink herself under the table.

“Everyone has been putting their votes in the box for the best costume thing!” Ontari shouts. “You should get yours in, Clarke! I’m taking it away at ten so I can announce the winner at the stroke of midnight!”

Clarke nods and sips from the cup while she makes her way towards the box. She votes on Octavia, because they’re best friends and Octavia is rocking that voodoo doll outfit. It had almost slipped her mind that she’s supposed to be Ontari’s date tonight.

Ontari smashes a guitar to bits when a song ends. “Clarke, care for a dance?” she asks, right before the next song starts to play.

Clarke nods so she doesn’t have to ruin her voice by shouting. The creepy Halloween music doesn’t seem ideal to dance, but a lot of students are dancing anyway. She’s amused to see Octavia and Raven are trying to slow dance.

“Clarke!” Finn shouts. “Can we talk!?”

Clarke pushes Finn’s hand away when he places it on her shoulder. “No, we can’t,” she answers, not interested in the slightest to interact with him.

“I made a mistake!” Finn shouts. “I should have dumped Raven long ago! She’s not that good in bed anyway!”

Clarke slaps Finn hard enough to send him stumbling two steps back. “Never speak like that about my friend again!” she says, her face red from anger. “You suck in bed because you’re selfish, insensitive, you don’t last longer than two minutes tops and you just lie there like a dead fish!”

“You’re pathetic, Finn!” Raven shouts, slapping him as well. “He said the same stuff to me about you a day ago,” she says to Clarke.

“He’s just desperate and thirsty,” Ontari says, scoffing. “Listen, fuckboy,” she says as she grasps Finn roughly by his shirt. “If you ever bother my friends again I’ll cut you.”

Clarke’s eyebrows rise up when Finn screams with a strange high pitch. Hell, even she can’t scream that high. She has never seen her ex run that fast because he’s sprinting away like he’s running from a horde of zombies.

Octavia wraps her arms around Raven’s waist and kisses her cheek. “You okay, babe?”

Raven spins around, faces Octavia and smiles. “Much better now,” she answers.

“Just kiss her already for fucks sakes,” Ontari groans.

“Leave them be, Ri,” Clarke says, pulling Ontari away to give Octavia and Raven some privacy.

Ontari counts everyone’s votes with Clarke’s help.

When midnight rolls around, Clarke covers her ears when Ontari announces that Raven is the winner for having the best costume. The cheers from the other students are very loud, despite having her ears covered. She mumbles a few quick words to her friends before leaving the party, so they wouldn’t worry about her suddenly being gone.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is sitting down on her couch with a glass of wine, finally able to relax. Adria has long been dropped off and she’s had quite a few children ringing her doorbell for trick or treat. It’s a good thing that she got a lot of candy beforehand. The last group of children rang her doorbell a little before midnight, which she found surprisingly late. All of her candy has been handed out now.

She thinks back of the trick and treating she did with Clarke and the children. To be honest she wasn’t being such a good babysitter because she was too distracted talking with the girl. It all went fine though and she had a lovely night. She hadn’t quite wanted it to end considering she felt lighter than she has in months.

Clarke is a welcome distraction in her life. She’s never been much of a social person and yet with the girl it all comes natural. When it comes to her life she hasn’t told Clarke that much yet, but that’s also because some pieces of her past are difficult to dig up. The girl told her she looked sexy, which was unexpected.

Nobody ever called her sexy before. She’s been called numerous things, but sexy was never one of them. Of course she knows she looked good in that costume and yet she can’t silence the part of her mind that makes her a tad insecure. As long as she’s properly clothed it is all okay, but when she’s naked she’s not that good looking anymore.

When Clarke made the comment of how they should hurry before Tris would bewitch them the first thought that crossed her mind is that she might already be bewitched. Thankfully she didn’t say that, but it feels as if the girl has put a spell on her. She doesn’t want to think too much of it.

Her train of thoughts is interrupted when her doorbell rings, which is a good thing because she was starting to think about Clarke too much. She gets up from her couch and puts her glass of wine near her sink before opening her door. Okay, the girl showing up on her doorstep when it’s already past midnight isn’t exactly helpful.

Clarke smiles at Lexa, who apparently is no longer clad as a vampire Houdini police officer. Miss Woods seems to be wearing comfortable sweats and a shirt. “Trick or treat?” she asks, taking a step closer. “What is it going to be, Lexa?”

It’s clearly another challenge. Lexa’s eyes flit down to Clarke’s pink lips and she wonders when the tension between them became so tangible. The girl is attractive, there is no doubt about that, but tonight there has been a shift in their dynamic. Clarke always seemed easy to have conversations with and she enjoys the banter they have from time to time.

Clarke says nothing as Lexa lets her in. She came here for a reason after all, although she’s not fully sure what she’s doing. Maybe she’s being too brazen and she’d hate to ruin what they’ve been building, whatever that is. She likes spending time with Miss Woods and she feels a certain urge to be closer to her.

“I ran out of candy, it’s been a successful night,” Lexa says, closing her door behind Clarke. She knows the girl isn’t here for candy and she knows that Clarke knows that she knows.

“You don’t say,” Clarke replies, backing Lexa up against the door. “In that case, how about a movie?” she asks, not wishing to leave yet.

“Do you want hot chocolate or tea?”

Clarke smiles and lets Lexa walk past her. “I’m a sweet tooth, so hot chocolate for me,” she answers, never having been much of a tea drinker. “Is there anything in scary movies you’re afraid of?” she asks, thinking of how some people can’t watch movies with ghosts in them for example.

“You may choose any movie you like,” Lexa answers, having slipped back to her stoic self as she prepares hot chocolate. “I am not afraid of anything.”

“If that were true then you wouldn’t be afraid of me,” Clarke replies, knowing that everyone fears something. “Or well, feeling something for me would be a better way to phrase it,” she clarifies, sensing that Lexa is scared to allow herself to develop feelings. “Someone hurt you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tension is in the air, among other things.   
> I thought I'd be writing about 20 chapters, but it's definitely going to be more.


	14. Chapter 14

It frightens Lexa how Clarke sees through her, despite her mask. The girl is looking at her with those big blue eyes, so sincere and open. They’re sitting on the couch together, the movie not yet playing.

Clarke quietly sips from the hot chocolate as she waits for Lexa to talk. It’s obvious that Miss Woods doesn’t easily come out of her shell, though she hopes she can peel that shell away bit by bit.

“I was in a relationship for four years,” Lexa says with some hesitancy. “It ended this summer and by now she married someone.”

“That must have been a rough experience,” Clarke replies, assuming it must have been painful. It’s confusing that the other woman married someone so soon, which doesn’t sound like she loved Lexa very much.

“It was,” Lexa confirms, still suffering from some repercussions. “The past is gone now. I do not miss her,” she says, which is the truth. She has no desire whatsoever to ever have contact with Costia again in any way. Her ex’s words when she broke up with her were like a blade and most of them were unnecessary to say.

Clarke can understand why Lexa would keep a distance because four years is a long time and that’s not something someone moves on from in the span of a couple of months. Some people might, though for others it takes time. She’s not going to pry about the details or anything because if Miss Woods would want to tell her she’ll do so on her own accord.

Lexa thinks of mentioning how love is weakness, but she doesn’t want to risk ruining Clarke. It wouldn’t be fair to dim the girl’s light just because she gave up on love. “It hasn’t crossed my mind to date someone,” she expresses, finding it easier to be alone. When she wakes up alone it doesn’t feel easier, but for the total picture it is better that way.

“That’s understandable,” Clarke replies, gentle as she puts her hand on Lexa’s knee. It’s easy enough for Miss Woods to shrug off if she’d want to. She finds touches comforting, but that doesn’t go for everyone. “I like learning more about you.”

Lexa shifts on her couch so that Clarke’s hand drops from her knee. “Shall we watch a movie then?” she asks, peeling her eyes away from the girl.

“Yes,” Clarke answers, putting the hot chocolate aside. Her eyes land on a guitar in the corner of the room which she had overlooked before. “You have a guitar?”

Lexa follows Clarke’s gaze. “I do,” she answers, folding a blanket open so they can get comfortable.

“Maybe you could play something for me sometime,” Clarke whispers as she snuggles under the blanket. Being here with Lexa is better than being at the party, much more relaxing. She feels comfortable in the sweatpants and the shirt she’s borrowing from Miss Woods, which she had changed into a little while ago.

“Maybe,” Lexa replies, because she will think about it. After the movie it will be far too late to play guitar. It’s even late for a movie, but she can’t sleep yet anyway.

Clarke shifts a bit closer towards Lexa. “Is this okay?” she asks, wanting her to be comfortable.

Lexa lifts her right arm up and puts it around Clarke’s shoulders, letting the girl place her head against her shoulder.

Clarke hums, satisfied with snuggling even closer. She searches for Lexa’s left hand under the blanket and laces their fingers together. Miss Woods smells like soap and wine, and her hair smells like shampoo.

“I am not the movie, Clarke,” Lexa whispers, smiling softly because she can feel the girl’s eyes on her even without looking.

“You’re much better than the movie,” Clarke whispers, sighing dreamily. “Will you go out on a date with me sometime?”

Lexa doesn’t move, doesn’t even blink her eyes.

There’s a silence that lasts several minutes while the movie plays in the background.

Clarke’s eyes are fixated on Lexa, unsure if she asked too soon. In all fairness this moment feels like a date and if she thinks back of the time they spent at the park and at the coffee shop, those felt like dates too.

“Yes,” Lexa answers, though she’s cautious. She wouldn’t mind spending more time with Clarke, but she does see some complications. It doesn’t seem like the brightest idea, considering the girl is a student. It’s not illegal, but it’s frowned upon and if things would turn out ugly it wouldn’t be pleasant for either one of them. The part that worries her the most is possibly catching feelings for Clarke, who doesn’t even know that she’s different.

“I’ll make it worth your while,” Clarke whispers, happy that Lexa said yes when she thought she was going to say no. “Next weekend?”

Lexa nods and keeps her eyes on the movie. It’s been a while since she relaxed like this with someone. “Wait,” she says when something crosses her mind. “Is Ontari into you?” she asks, needing to know because she had heard her younger cousin asking Clarke as a date for Halloween and she wouldn’t want to hurt Ontari’s feelings. Not that she’s assuming anything would happen with the girl, but she prefers to know.

“No, we’re just friends,” Clarke answers, frowning. “Oh,” she whispers, thinking back of when she went shopping for a costume. Lexa had been right there the second after Ontari asked her as a date and maybe she missed the part before that where Ontari said it’s just as friends. “If she had feelings for me I would know, she’s quite blunt.”

Lexa finds relief in that answer because it’s true. Ontari is the type who would simply blurt it out and see what happens.

By the time the movie has ended, Clarke has fallen asleep.

Lexa shifts very carefully to avoid waking Clarke up. She could leave the girl like this, but out of experience she knows that her couch isn’t comfortable to sleep on. If she would leave Clarke on her couch all night the girl would wake up with sore muscles. She gently scoops Clarke up in her arms and carries her to her bedroom.

Clarke automatically curls up a bit, nuzzling closer. When Lexa puts her down on the bed, her eyes flutter open just in time to catch her wrist. “Don’t sleep on the couch again,” she whispers, voice hoarse.

“Clarke, I-”

“Please.”

Lexa sighs and quietly lifts the other side of her sheets up to get in bed. This is not how she thought tonight would go, though she could have guessed Clarke would grow tired and fall asleep. It would be cruel if she would send the girl away now; who looks like she’d hardly needs a second to be out like a light again.

Clarke rolls onto her side to sleep, hoping that maybe Lexa would like to spoon. It’s not a requirement and she understands that it might be awkward for Miss Woods. So far she can tell that Lexa needs a slow and gentle approach. She personally likes cuddling a lot and would even cuddle with friends, but some people save that kind of thing for a relationship only.

Lexa stares up at her ceiling and stays on her side of the bed. It would be too much to be closer. Thoughts keep running through her mind until eventually sleeps finds her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa shouldn’t be staring, although she would say she’s observing. She woke up five minutes ago, but it could be ten or even twenty. She’s not sure because it’s easy to lose track of time. It can’t be much later than six in the morning, if it’s even six yet. Usually, she would leap out of her bed and go for her jog, but this time she’s watching the rise and fall of Clarke’s chest.

The girl must have rolled over during the night because instead of lying down on her side, she’s on her back. It’s unfair how beautiful Clarke looks in the morning. The fact that she didn’t wake up alone makes her heart skip a beat. She mentally curses her heart for betraying her like that. It’s not that she would say she has feelings for the girl per se, but there is chemistry between them and a connection which would be interesting to explore further.

In the back of her mind she’s worried to grow too attached to Clarke. She can still stop this before it becomes anything at all, but as she looks at the girl she’s not sure if she wants to stop whatever it is they have. Her shirt which Clarke is wearing has risen up slightly, exposing her stomach. She grasps her sheets and properly places them over the girl to fully cover her up again.

When Clarke stirs she hurries to get out of her bed and out of her bedroom to make a dash for her bathroom. She can’t risk the girl waking up all of the sudden and seeing her while she woke up with a boner. It’s not something she can help. Sometimes it happens, whether she likes it or not.

She turns the cold water of her shower on, undresses and steps under the stream. It’s freezing cold, but at least it’ll help to get her body back under control. She presses her back against the tiles and tips her head back, shivering as the icy water continues to run down her body.

_Lex, I… I think you need a cold shower. It’s happening again._

She remembers Costia saying something like that a lot, almost every morning. It’s foolish that she had been so blind not to notice the disgust written on her face. Each time she thinks back of that now, she does see that the signs were there. Waking up, hard like this, is natural, but her ex made her feel as if it was something she should be ashamed of.

In hindsight she should have been the one to break things off with Costia, but no. Instead of breaking things off each time she felt like she wasn’t being loved, she fought harder to fix things between them. She tried to bring more romance into their life, hoping that she could repair whatever it was that she had done wrong.

It feels lighter to think of how if she could go back, she would have ended things long before Costia did. Her ex wasn’t good for her and it is unfortunate that she wasted four years with the wrong woman, but it was a learning experience.

She turns the water off and steps out of her shower, wrapping a towel around her body. There’s a door creaking in her house, so she assumes Clarke got up. She hurries to dry herself off and puts some clothes on. Her bra and pants are on when there’s a knock on her bathroom door.

“Just a minute, Clarke,” Lexa says, grasping her oversized shirt to slip it on.

Clarke chuckles when Lexa opens the door. “Your shirt is on backwards,” she says, glancing at the label sticking out of the front. “I would have waited longer, you didn’t have to hurry.”

“Maybe I prefer wearing my shirt backwards,” Lexa replies, turning around to grab her comb. Her hair is still wet and dripping.

“You are… something,” Clarke whispers, shaking her head as she still can’t quite put her finger on Lexa. In class Miss Woods is all about tailored suits and when she jogs and is in her house she wears sweatpants and shirts she can swim in. She understands wanting to be comfortable, but those shirts are more than a few sizes too big. Lexa might as well use them as dresses.

Lexa combs her hair and nearly drops her comb while Clarke is splashing water in her face. The girl should have slept longer. “I will make breakfast,” she says, excusing herself from her bathroom with her comb still in her hand before Clarke can undress. 

 


	15. Chapter 15

“Thank you for breakfast,” Clarke says, now clad in her little rid red riding hood costume again. Lexa had offered she could borrow clothes, but she didn’t want to put her through that hassle. She’s had the best Halloween ever because she had fun trick or treating with Miss Woods and her siblings, the party was okay and the movie afterwards with Lexa felt nice.

Lexa nods and waits for Clarke to leave so she can close her door. Two months ago she wouldn’t have guessed that she would have a date with a student coming up. She sees it more as spending time together rather than an actual romantic date. It looks as if the girl doesn’t really want to leave. Their movie night has been way overdue with Clarke having slept over.

Clarke wrings her hands together and wonders if Lexa is planning to go for a run soon. Usually she’d be sitting on the bench at the park by now and watch Miss Woods jogging. She won’t go to the park today because that time window is already gone.

Lexa can see Clarke’s eyes moving down her body, which makes her feel naked. Those blue eyes have seen a lot already, such as the pain she’s been trying to hide and she would rather not have the girl see even more.

Clarke leans forward and presses a kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “I’ll see you around,” she says, smiling. With that she leaves as her stomach swoops. She didn’t think she would be moving on so fast, but there is no set time on moving on and Miss Woods makes her heart beat slower and faster at the same time.

Lexa brings her hand up to her cheek where Clarke’s kiss burns into her skin. It was a little innocent peck to her cheek, but the girl’s lips felt soft and affected her in a certain way. She quickly shuts her door, relieved that Clarke is gone now. It looks like she needs to take another cold shower.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Well, well, well,” Octavia says, tapping her foot on the floor. “Where have you been?”

“Good morning to you too, O,” Clarke replies, sighing as she closes the door behind her.

“You were gone all night,” Octavia says, shaking her head.

Clarke can hear the concern in Octavia’s voice, which isn’t necessary. “I’m aware,” she says as she unzips her dress. “I did tell you I was leaving the party.”

“But you didn’t tell me you would be gone all night,” Octavia counters.

“Are you almost done parenting me?” Clarke asks, stepping out of her dress. “I get that you worried, but I can take care of myself. I stayed over at someone’s place.”

“Clarke…,” Octavia says, her eyes softening as she sits down on her bed. “Look, you can do what you want, but just send me a text or something when you’re not coming back. I called you five times.”

“I think my battery died,” Clarke replies, not having ignored Octavia’s calls on purpose. She fishes for her phone and yes, her battery is empty. “Like I said,” she says while showing her phone to her best friend, “my battery is dead.”

“How did you get that hickey in your neck?”

“What?” Clarke asks, shocked and eyes wide as her hand flies towards her neck. “We didn’t do anything,” she says, feeling confused.

Octavia bursts out laughing. “Oh my god, you’re seeing someone,” she says, sounding amused.

“Ugh, I hate you,” Clarke grumbles, throwing her pillow at Octavia. She thought her best friend was serious about there being a hickey in her neck. “You tricked me.”

“After all these years you still fall for that,” Octavia says, wiping tears out of her eyes. “Classic trap.”

“I’m not really seeing someone, it’s complicated,” Clarke says, unsure how to put it.

Octavia ceases her laughter. “Complicated how?” she asks, all seriousness now. “Don’t tell me you’re into someone from high school or a married person or someone with children.”

“No, I’m not into someone who falls into those categories,” Clarke answers, shaking her head. “It’s a different kind of complicated.”

“Oh my… wow,” Octavia says, gasping. “Is it a professor?”

Clarke averts her eyes, awkwardly searching for comfortable clothes. Her best friend must take her silence as a yes.

“Wow, Clarke… really,” Octavia says, working her jaw slowly. “How long have you been into Miss Woods?”

“How did you… ugh,” Clarke replies, groaning loudly. “Recently… and if you tell anyone I swear…”

“Clarke, we grew up together,” Octavia says with a stern look. “You’re practically my sister. I won’t tell a soul.”

Clarke nods, believing Octavia. “I asked her out and she said yes,” she reveals, excited that she can share this with her best friend.

“Get out!” Octavia replies, her excitement matching Clarke’s. “Where are you going to take her?”

“On a scale of one to ten, how badly do you think Ontari is going to want to kill me for being into her cousin?”

“Hmm,” Octavia says, tapping her chin. “Probably twelve,” she answers, nodding, “definitely twelve.”

Clarke hopes that Raven and Ontari won’t find out as easily as Octavia did. “I have a few ideas for my date with Miss Woods,” she says, sitting down next to her best friend so she can talk about each one. “By the way, how are things between you and Raven?”

“I think she might be interested, but she still needs a little more time, which I respect.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa was surprised when Ontari chose neither one of them. She had sat down with her younger cousin as well as with Anya and Gustus to discuss who she would want to live with during her summer vacation. There is still time of course, but it seemed better to know in advance, especially since she would need to get a room ready.

Ontari declined their offer and said she would spend her summer with her friends. She respects her cousin’s choice and took it better than Anya and Gustus did, who felt like Ontari should be living with family. Her younger cousin is nineteen and will be twenty soon, so they can’t make decisions for her.

She did decide to prepare that room anyway in case Ontari would decide to stay over a few days during the summer. All she has to do is buy a bed and a few other necessities. It’s the perfect chance to create a guestroom.

Clarke walks in with her friends and takes a second to wink at Lexa. She looks forward to the weekend because her date with Miss Woods is coming up and she’s been counting down the days. Ontari and Raven luckily seem completely oblivious about it, which she prefers to keep that way for a while.

“You could come to my room after classes,” Raven whispers to Octavia. “I think we can finish that project today.”

“Okay, I’ll be there,” Octavia whispers.

“Sounds like my cue not to be there,” Ontari says, smirking. “I’ll go to Grounders. Clarke, you want to come with?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” Clarke answers, sighing as she grabs her things. “I have art class after my other classes today,” she explains, not wanting to cancel on it. After art class she’s going to study, so there’s really no time.

Lexa’s eyes linger every now and then on Clarke while she teaches. The girl seems to be staring at her non-stop, which could be passed off as Clarke merely paying attention to class, though she knows better. Even when the girl is writing things down she’s still looking at her. During the summer she wouldn’t have believed any of this would be happening.

Clarke’s eyes rake down Lexa’s suit and she has to admit she’s hot, which she low key already noticed on the first day. At first she never thought much of it because she was in a relationship, but ever since she’s been single her eyes have been opening up to see the connection she has with Miss Woods.

Lexa thinks about wearing a suit for her date with Clarke. It’s kind of silly how nervous she feels, but it’s been years since she’s been on a first date and she’s not sure what to expect. Sweatpants and a big shirt wouldn’t be right for a date. Perhaps she should wear jeans and a blouse.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke clears her throat and looks down. She’s wearing jeans, a blue shirt and sneakers. It’s a basic outfit and it seems good enough. She rings Lexa’s doorbell and waits with a nervous smile. One hand is held behind her back.

Lexa opens her door, clad in skinny black jeans and checkered flannel. “Hello, Clarke,” she says coolly. She’s not letting it show how nervous she is and she shouldn’t be nervous, but something about the girl makes her feel nervous and not in a bad way, but still. “Clarke,” she repeats, a smile playing at her lips because the girl is staring at her, open-mouthed.

One of Clarke’s weaknesses is women wearing flannel, because hot damn. It’s difficult not to stare when Lexa is easily the most gorgeous woman she ever laid eyes on. “Hi, Lexa,” she says, her smile widening. “This is for you,” she says, revealing her hand from behind her back.

Lexa looks at the lily which has a deep fuchsia color with black spots, edged in white. It’s sweet that Clarke got her a flower for their first date and it’s also romantic. She’s surprised the girl didn’t go with a rose, which is often the classical choice.

“They call this one the stargazer,” Clarke explains, having chosen it purposefully. The first time she shared the bench at the park with Lexa, it was night and they had looked at the stars. “It means….” She sighs, smiling dazed and takes a deep breath. “It means you’re beautiful,” she whispers, blushing a dark shade of pink.

Lexa studies the flower and it makes her heart constrict that Clarke is giving her this. It gives her a happy feeling that the girl remembers they’ve gazed at stars before and the fact that Clarke is calling her beautiful seems surreal. Nobody has ever given her a flower before. 

“You must get that all the time,” Clarke says, slipping her hands in her pockets to avoid fidgeting. “Are you ready?”

“One minute,” Lexa answers, stepping back inside to put the flower away. Lacking a vase, she fills her sink with water and puts the lily in it. When she’s back she’ll find a better solution. “Ready,” she says, shutting her door.

Clarke slips her hands out of her pockets and wipes her palms quickly on her pants to make sure her hands aren’t sweaty. She’s walking next to Lexa and casually lets her pinkie touch hers, to see if she’ll be allowed to hold her hand. When it comes to public displays of affection she never had an issue with those, but she doesn’t know how Miss Woods feels about it.

Lexa lets Clarke take her hand and she can’t help but think how perfect the girl’s hand feels in hers. “Are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?” she asks, curious to finally find out.

“No, you’ll have to wait and see,” Clarke answers. She brings Lexa’s hand up to her mouth, brushing a kiss to her knuckles.

Lexa is taken aback by how tender Clarke is being. Her mind is telling her that love is weakness, which she wants to believe to protect herself, but at heart she’s a hopeless romantic. “Can you give me a hint?” she asks, even more curious now that the girl is being mysterious about it.

“I don’t think so,” Clarke answers, smiling as she shakes her head. But then an idea crosses her mind. “Unless,” she adds, turning her face to look at Lexa, “you can convince me to give you a hint.”

There it is again, a challenge and Lexa likes how Clarke can be just a little bit naughty sometimes. It keeps her on her toes and she’s intrigued to go along with it.

Clarke doesn’t expect Lexa to react, but then Miss Woods reels her in and she’s so close to those green eyes that her head is spinning.

Lexa puts her index finger under Clarke’s chin, holding their eye-contact. She can hear the girl inhale sharply as she kisses her cheek. She meets Clarke’s eyes again and runs her thumb over her bottom lip before letting go.

Clarke is speechless when Lexa continues to walk like nothing happened. They were so close and now she can’t stop thinking about how badly she wants to kiss her. She’s going to get back at Miss Woods for teasing her like that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sits back and relaxes* 
> 
> My internet is going to be down during the day tomorrow because they're going to work on it, so we'll see.


	16. Chapter 16

“We’re here,” Clarke says with a beaming smile. “Though I must add that this is only the beginning of our date, this isn’t all of it.”

“Pottery class,” Lexa says, reading the sign. “I have never done this before,” she confesses, unsure how to even begin doing that.

“That’s okay,” Clarke replies, secretly having hoped this would be new for Lexa. She has done this a few times and of course she’d love to help her. “I’ll give you a hand, both even.”

Lexa contains the urge to shake her head at Clarke’s naughty smile. She follows the girl inside and takes a seat when Clarke gestures at one.

“Okay, so I’m just… going to,” Clarke explains awkwardly as she sits down behind Lexa. She moves her hands slowly from Miss Woods’ shoulders, down her arms, until she reaches her hands.

Lexa can tell that Clarke is enjoying this. The girl feels warm, all pressed up against her back. She’s relieved that it’s not the other way around because she doesn’t want Clarke to feel that she’s different from most women.

“Take a deep breath,” Clarke whispers, kissing Lexa’s neck as she runs her hands back up her arms, slowly to her shoulders. “Relax,” she says, kneading Miss Woods’ shoulders, feeling how tense she is.

Lexa would find it significantly easier to relax if Clarke’s hands wouldn’t be over her like that. She puts her hands on the clay, feeling the girl moving her hands down her arms again until they reach her hands to help her shape the clay as the machine is on.

Clarke tries to cover up a laugh when Lexa’s hands slip, causing the clay to be quite deformed.

“I thought you were going to help me, Clarke,” Lexa says, hearing the girl giggling quietly.

“You’re right,” Clarke replies, moving her hands up and down Lexa’s arms again. She can get used to doing this. “We could switch places if you want,” she offers. “Then you can place your hands on mine and feel how I do it.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Lexa says, needing to decline Clarke’s offer. “I will manage.”

Clarke tries to be serious again as she helps Lexa shape the clay. “I know you have cousins, but do you have any siblings?” she asks, wanting to get to know Miss Woods even better.

“No, I have always been an only child,” Lexa answers, which was okay with her. “Anya is my cousin, though she feels like a sister to me.”

“I was used to being an only child and when I heard about Tris and Aden I wasn’t happy at first,” Clarke says, wishing she wouldn’t have reacted so negatively back then. “I was jealous because I felt like my dad had replaced me. By now I know better.”

It amazes Lexa how open and honest Clarke speaks about her feelings. She can’t picture being that vulnerable, although she would say she has already shown some vulnerability around the girl. “You were his only child and you struggled with the reality of having to share his love with others,” she says, which is what she grasped from what Clarke said.

“Yeah, I did,” Clarke confirms, because that’s what it was. “I was worried he wouldn’t love me as much anymore as he always did. I worried I’d have to compete with Tris and Aden, and it didn’t help at the time that they lived in his house while I’ve always lived with my mother.”

“This must be the most crooked pot ever,” Lexa says when they’re done. “I thought you had done this before.”

“I was a little bit distracted by your beauty,” Clarke replies, smiling as Lexa’s lips part just a little bit. “If we wash our hands we can go to the next place.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Almost,” Clarke whispers. “I’ll tell you when.”

Lexa keeps her eyes closed, which is not an easy feat because she has to trust Clarke to guide her to make sure she doesn’t trip or bump into something. More than one activity truly isn’t necessary and she wouldn’t want the girl to have to pay a whole bunch of money for their date. She would have been content with a cup of coffee.

Clarke placed the money she got from her father at the bank, although she did take some of it for other purposes, such as her date with Lexa. Maybe she’s being mushy, but she wants to make this day unforgettable for the both of them.

Lexa feels Clarke’s warm hand slipping into hers all of the sudden, pulling her to a stop. She’s not sure how long they walked and where they are. Maybe some people stared, but what she couldn’t see doesn’t matter.

Clarke opens the door of the space she’s renting for a few hours. She smiles when she sees everything is ready, as she had requested it to be. It’s the first time she puts this much effort into someone, but that’s because Lexa is special.

“You may open your eyes now, Lexa.”

Lexa has no idea what to expect, but when she opens her eyes her jaw drops. The space they’re standing in is filled with candles, so many candles. Aside from the candles it’s quite dark, but oh so perfect. Or at least, it is until she notices the hot tub, which has her swallowing hard.

“I got us a bottle of wine,” Clarke says, because she remembers Lexa having smelled like wine before. “And don’t worry, there are several bathing suits and such,” she says, smiling as she pours their glasses of wine. Of course she’s not going to go in the tub naked or anything. She frowns when Miss Woods isn’t moving at all.

Lexa accepts the glass of wine from Clarke and empties it in one go, which is not smart because that’s going to alarm the girl who is already too observant.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers, feeling concerned. “Is something wrong?”

Lexa wouldn’t be able to hide that she’s different if she would get in that hot tub. Bathing suits are very skin tight. “I would rather not go in the hot tub,” she answers, hoping that Clarke won’t ask further questions about it. She could say she had a bad experience with a pool or something, but she’d hate to lie. Omission can be lying as well, though she’s not ready to share her secret. Coming out as a lesbian is no issue because she’s used to it, but coming out as intersex is something she saves for bed partners only.

Clarke feels confused and doesn’t understand why Lexa wouldn’t want to go in it, but Miss Woods looks so uncomfortable right now that it seems better not to ask. She puts a hand on Lexa’s shoulder and smiles softly. “I’m relieved you say that,” she says, her voice light. “Seeing you is already hot enough, the tub would probably be too much.”

Lexa smiles and lightly pushes Clarke. “Charmer,” she whispers, endeared that the girl is trying to make her feel better.

“You can call me anything you want,” Clarke replies, winking. She wonders when she got this flirty.

“Anything?” Lexa asks, watching the way Clarke’s eyes sparkle. “How about tonight?”

“There goes my next line,” Clarke says, faking a gasp.

“I can throw you a line,” Lexa replies as she grasps Clarke’s hand and pulls her close. “There you go.”

“When you pull me in like that I…,” Clarke whispers, feeling worried that she might spook Lexa away. Instead of using words she runs her thumb over Miss Woods’ lips to bring the message across. The sexual tension that is building between them is going to kill her in all the best ways and she’s not sure how long she can take it. She’s fairly patient, but she’s tempted to make Lexa hers.

Lexa nods because she can feel it too. “I like candles,” she whispers, which may seem random now, but she needs Clarke to know that. She feels bad that she rejected the hot tub idea, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the idea failed.

“I had hoped you would,” Clarke replies, happy to hear that Lexa likes those. “We could sit on the edge of the tub,” she suggests. “I promise I won’t push you in it.”

“I suppose that could work,” Lexa says with some reservations. She’s grateful that Clarke isn’t questioning why she doesn’t want to go in the hot tub. Someday she will share her secret, but she hopes that it won’t ruin their connection.

 

 

* * *

 

 

This has been one of the best days of Clarke’s life. She enjoyed that pottery class with Lexa and the talk they had in that space with all the candles around them. Right now she’s at Miss Woods’ place, sitting on her couch while she’s getting lost in her eyes.

Lexa can’t remember the last time she was able to talk so much with someone. “It is late,” she whispers, which she already knew when she let Clarke in.

“I know,” Clarke whispers, her eyes searching Lexa’s face. “Do you want me to go?” she asks, holding her heart as she hopes that Miss Woods will say no because she doesn’t feel like leaving.

Lexa should say yes so Clarke can be back at a decent time to get some sleep. They already spent a lot of time together and there will be other moments. Instead she finds herself shaking her head.

“I could stay for the night if that’s okay with you,” Clarke suggests, careful so she doesn’t overstep. “I’ll take the couch if that helps.”

“You are not going to sleep on the couch, Clarke.”

“Pillows down the middle then?” Clarke asks, grinning as Lexa gives her a push. The push isn’t all that hard, but she lets herself fall onto her back, smiling as she stretches her hands out towards Miss Woods.

Lexa takes Clarke’s hands, but when as expected the girl tries to pull her down, she pulls her up instead so she doesn’t end up on top of Clarke.

Clarke isn’t sure which one of them closed the gap, but when their lips are barely an inch apart she doesn’t care who closed it. “Lexa,” she breathes out.

Lexa’s fingers find purchase in Clarke’s hair as her breath ghosts over her lips. The girl is so incredibly close now, it’s intoxicating. Clarke is closing her eyes like she knows what’s coming. “Kissing on a first date is quite cliché, no?” she asks quietly, smiling when the girl’s eyes flutter open.

“Maybe it is, but this doesn’t feel like a first date,” Clarke answers, cupping Lexa’s cheeks. “I feel like I’ve been dating you for a while now.”

Everything is ripping at the seams for Lexa. Her walls are threatening to fall down and she feels like she needs Clarke to keep herself steady. She needs those lips to ground her.

Their lips meet in a soft languid kiss. Lexa takes Clarke’s bottom lip between her lips and nips lightly. Clarke parts her lips, a moan escaping her when Lexa’s tongue moves smoothly around hers. Lexa’s nails gently scratch Clarke’s scalp as she pulls her closer, addicted to the taste of her mouth.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Lexa positions her guitar, hoping she won’t sound too rusty. “Which song would you like to hear, Clarke?” she asks, adjusting the strings.

“Anything, really,” Clarke answers, placing her elbows on her knees while resting her face in her hands. “I just want to hear you play.”

“Very well then,” Lexa replies, getting ready to play. It makes her smile how Clarke looks like she can’t decide between looking at her or looking at her guitar.

Clarke is expecting Lexa to play guitar and nothing else, but when she opens her mouth to sing she is stunned.

 

_Hold_

_Hold on_

_Hold onto me_

_'Cause I'm a little unsteady_

_A little unsteady_

 

Clarke hears how raw and honest Lexa sounds and she has a feeling that song wasn’t a random selection. She will gladly hold on to her anytime she wants her to. It strikes a chord within her to hear the way Lexa’s voice cracks the slightest bit when she sings she’s unsteady.

 

_Hold_

_Hold on_

_Hold onto me_

_'Cause I'm a little unsteady_

_A little unsteady_

_Momma_

_Come here_

_Approach_

_Appear_

_Daddy_

_I'm alone_

_'Cause this house don't feel like home_

 

Clarke knows that Lexa’s mother left, which is awful and she can’t grasp how a parent can abandon their child. If she would ever have children she can’t imagine herself ever abandoning them. Those who left Lexa are dumb and are missing out on this amazing woman she’s getting to know better as time goes on.

 

_If you love me_

_Don't let go_

_If you love me_

_Don't let go_

 

Lexa doesn’t get any further than that because she’s cut off by Clarke’s lips, which she doesn’t mind. She holds on to her guitar with one hand and brings the other up to the girl’s cheek. When she kisses Clarke she feels a little less unsteady.

Clarke attempts to pour everything she feels into her kiss. She wants to be whatever Lexa needs, a friend, a lover, an anchor, anything.

Their kiss breaks when they both need air.

“We should go to bed,” Lexa says as she gets up to put her guitar aside. It’s late and she doesn’t want to deprive Clarke of any more sleep. “I will get you comfortable pajamas.”

“Just a shirt is fine,” Clarke replies, not needing more than that to sleep in.

Lexa walks to her bedroom, followed by Clarke. She opens her closet to hand the girl a black shirt. “You can go to the bathroom first, I will wait.”

“Okay,” Clarke replies, accepting the shirt. “I won’t take long.”

Lexa sits down on the edge of her bed while Clarke is in the bathroom. She will sleep with a pair of long pajama pants and an oversized dark grey shirt. Maybe it’s crazy that she went out on a date with the girl and that they kissed, but all of it felt right. She didn’t apply for a job at Polis with the idea of getting involved with a student, because something like that couldn’t be foreseen.

The first time she saw Clarke on her first day she was the first student she truly noticed. She will never forget her delicate weightless laugh and maybe in that moment the girl was already subconsciously reeling her in. Their moments at the park are valuable to her. If Clarke really feels something for her that isn’t a temporary crush then she wants to give what they have a chance.

Clarke returns to Lexa’s bedroom, clad in underwear and the black shirt which fits her just right. “Lexa,” she whispers, a playful smile on her lips.

Lexa quickly stands up to prevent Clarke of sitting on her lap. “I will be right back,” she says while gesturing to her bed for the girl to get in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke is on her side, facing Lexa who is on her side as well. She reaches her hand out to brush it through her chestnut locks. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” she asks, hoping it doesn’t sound ridiculous that she’s even asking that.

Lexa grasps Clarke’s hand and kisses her palm. Out of the insecurities she has, the girl isn’t one of them. Clarke grounds her and the bond they built is too special to give up. “Yes,” she answers, because she doesn’t see why not. They’re both adults who are drawn to each other.

Clarke smiles and when Lexa smiles as well, she shuffles closer to kiss her. “Can we cuddle?” she asks quietly.

Lexa doesn’t spoon for obvious reasons. “You can sleep on my chest if you want to,” she offers, which seems to be a good answer because Clarke is putting her head on her chest.

“Goodnight, Lexa,” Clarke whispers, closing her eyes. She likes how Lexa is stroking her hair and she likes hearing her steady heartbeat.

Lexa tilts her head to press a kiss to the crown of Clarke’s head. “Goodnight, Clarke,” she whispers, closing her eyes. She doesn’t expect to fall asleep fast, but she does.

When the morning is breaking through, Clarke slowly wakes up. She carefully moves away from Lexa just a little bit so she can look at her now that she has the chance to watch her sleep. Her girlfriend’s jawline is perfectly sculpted. She likes how Lexa has a tiny freckle above her cupid bow lips.

Her girlfriend’s chestnut locks are smoothed over the pillow under her head, as if she hasn’t stirred all night and maybe she hasn’t. She misses the warmth of Lexa’s arms, but she doesn’t want to risk waking her up. Her eyes move lower down her girlfriend’s body and she frowns when she sees something poking at the blanket.

Out of curiosity she slowly pulls the blanket down, bit by bit. She has to slap a hand in front of her mouth to keep from gasping aloud. Okay wow, so that’s why Lexa wears such long shirts and that must be why she refused getting in the hot tub. She could be wrong, but her guess could also be right.

Lexa cracks her eyes open and frowns when she sees Clarke staring at her, or well a part of her. Oh no, no, no, no. She quickly covers herself with the blanket, even though her girlfriend has clearly seen already that she has a boner. It’s frustrating how her body betrays her like that. What confuses her is that Clarke looks like she’s turned on.

Clarke licks her lips. Her mouth feels a lot dryer than it felt the second she woke up. Maybe she shouldn’t be this thirsty, but waking up next to Lexa like that has that effect, apparently.

Lexa clutches her blanket. “You’re not disgusted?” she asks, confused. She feels ashamed that her body is being like this and that Clarke is seeing her like this. Of course she was going to tell her eventually, but not so soon.

“Why would anything about you ever disgust me? You’re beautiful, so, so beautiful,” Clarke answers, not at all disgusted.

Lexa’s heart aches because Clarke sounds sincere and there isn’t a single trace of dishonesty on her face, which means the girl really does think she is beautiful.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers. “You’ll never be anything less than beautiful to me, inside and out.”

And oh god Lexa can hardly breathe because Clarke’s hand is on her thigh now and it’s creeping up. Her girlfriend halts her movements a few inches away from her member and their eyes meet. She can tell that Clarke is asking for permission with her eyes. When she sighs and shakes her head because she’s not ready to take that step, she half expects her to grumpily walk away.

Clarke stretches her arms out with a smile on her face. “Cuddles?” she asks, understanding that more might be too soon for Lexa.

“Yes,” Lexa answers, letting her breath go. “And kisses,” she whispers.

Clarke leans in to bump Lexa’s nose with hers. “You can have all the kisses,” she whispers, leaning down so their lips can meet.

Lexa moans when Clarke is on top of her, which wasn’t a good idea. When her girlfriend moans too, it definitely wasn’t a good idea. “I should take a shower,” she says, gently grasping Clarke’s wrists to push her back on her side of the bed.

Clarke’s pupils are dilated and her body is practically screaming to jump Lexa’s bones. “I need one too,” she whispers, feeling an uncomfortable wetness between her legs.

Lexa’s eyes drop down to Clarke’s nipples, which are hard and visible. “We should take what we have slow,” she says, sitting up.

“Slow,” Clarke agrees, sitting up as well. She bites her bottom lip and that seems to do it for Lexa because the next thing she knows she’s on her back with her girlfriend on top of her and their lips attached to one another.

Lexa feels Clarke wrapping her arms around her to hold her in place. Her tongue teases her girlfriend’s bottom lip before entering her mouth. She knows they are both turned on, but she doesn’t want to rush what they have.

Clarke is panting when Lexa wriggles herself free from her arms. “Fuck,” she breathes out. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“I was born intersex,” Lexa answers, saving Clarke the trouble of asking.

“Okay, but that wasn’t my question,” Clarke replies, smiling. She hopes she isn’t blushing badly. “I’m wondering about your… size,” she says, vaguely gesturing her hand towards Lexa’s legs.

“You are being naughty, Clarke.”

“Yes,” Clarke whispers, catching Lexa’s wrist to pull her closer. “I’m very naughty.”

Lexa can see and hear very clearly that Clarke is turned on. She pecks her girlfriend’s lips. “Eight inches,” she says, and she would be lying if Clarke being into her so much doesn’t turn her on.

“Fuck me,” Clarke whispers, turned on even more now. Lexa is twice Finn’s size, who hardly has four inches. With her ex it felt like being poked by a toothpick.

“Someday,” Lexa says, smiling as she gets up from her bed.

“Tease!” Clarke shouts when Lexa walks away. It puzzles her how her girlfriend could ever think that she’d be disgusted by her when she’s so damn beautiful.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke walks out of Lexa’s house and she hardly made it a few steps when she sees Ontari. “Ri, hey, good morning,” she says awkwardly.

“What… the… fuck,” Ontari says, her eyes flitting from Clarke to Lexa’s house. “You slept over at my cousin’s place?”

“It’s not what you think,” Clarke answers, holding her hands up. “Well, it sort of is, but it also isn’t,” she says in an attempt to explain. “We haven’t had sex if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Ontari takes a step closer towards Clarke, face unreadable. “So you dig my cousin?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m into her, yes,” Clarke answers, looking into Ontari’s eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business,” she adds casually. Okay, that was a bad move because now she could get punched or worse.

Ontari snorts and drops her arms. “You got an attitude on you,” she says, shaking her head. “It’s whatever really, but if you break her heart I’m going to break your face, got it?”

“It’s not my intention to break her heart,” Clarke assures. “You’re okay with it then?”

“I’m cool with it,” Ontari answers, shrugging. “If you’re into her and she’s into you, I hope it all works out.”

“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” Clarke says, admitting that she’s surprised. “I thought you’d be mad.”

“I can be grumpy, but I’m not always grumpy.”

“Noted,” Clarke replies, about to walk away to get back to her room. “Is something wrong?” she asks, sensing a storm in Ontari’s mood.

“Someone at school vandalized the vending machines,” Ontari grumbles. “I don’t know if it’s a prank or something, but it’s not funny. When I put money in it to get a milky way, the wrapping was that of a milky way, but the candy bar inside was a Twix.”

“Who would do such a thing?” Clarke asks, frowning. “I don’t get what they would accomplish with that other than annoying people.”

“Yeah, it’s frustrating,” Ontari replies, huffing. “O wanted M&M’s and she ended up getting skittles instead. I hope they’ll fix that shit soon.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

“It was great, O,” Clarke says. “Hands down the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“You sure made an effort to make it great,” Octavia replies. “So I can’t say I’m surprised it was the best date you’ve ever been on.”

“It wasn’t the things I planned that made it great,” Clarke says, needing to correct Octavia on that. “Miss Woods made it great.”

“I’m glad to hear you’re happy with someone now,” Octavia says, patting Clarke’s shoulder. “She’s way better than Finn.”

“Yes, a hundred times better,” Clarke agrees. In her mind she keeps reliving her date with Lexa and she hopes that more dates will follow in the future. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean there wouldn't be dates anymore. Finn always had a different perspective, because he felt like dates were something pre-relationship only.

“I have a good gut feeling about her. As long as she treats you right, she has my seal of approval.”

Clarke is relieved to hear that Octavia has a positive feeling about Lexa because she shares that positive feeling. Her girlfriend is one of those rare once in a lifetime kind of person. She knows Lexa has been hurt a lot, far too much. It had shocked her how during breakfast her girlfriend explained why she thought she would be disgusted by her.

Attraction doesn’t always happen, but it is awful how Costia played Lexa for four years and then broke up with her in such a horrible way. There was no need for her girlfriend’s ex to say all those mean things. She hates how that woman broke a piece of Lexa’s confidence, which she wants to help rebuild as time goes on.

“What did you end up doing while I was gone?” Clarke asks curiously, noticing a smirk on Octavia’s face that has all the telltale signs that she had a good time.

“At first I hung out with Raven and Ontari,” Octavia answers, casually paging through a book. “After that it was just Raven and me. We watched movies and cuddled.”

“Do tell me more,” Clarke replies, plopping down next to Octavia. “Did you kiss?”

“Nah, not yet,” Octavia answers while closing the book. “We’re slowly getting there though, I think, but something’s been on my mind.”

Clarke frowns at the sudden shift in Octavia’s voice and composure. “I’m here,” she says, putting her hand on her best friend’s knee.

“I wonder if Ontari is into someone because it’s just… my gut feeling, you know?” Octavia asks as Clarke nods. “My gut feeling is never wrong and it makes me wonder who she’s into. Like, what if she’s into Raven? They’re roommates and best friends after all. But then again, Ri has been trying to encourage me and Raven to get it on.”

This vaguely reminds Clarke of when Lexa asked her if Ontari is into her, which isn’t the case. “I think that if she would be into Raven she would probably say something,” she says thoughtfully. “Maybe she likes someone and hasn’t told us yet, but none of us asked her if she likes someone.”

“It would be hella random if we would suddenly ask her though,” Octavia points out.

“I’ll ask her sometime,” Clarke replies, friendly patting Octavia’s leg. “Polis is big it could be literally any girl that goes here.”

“I’m trying not to worry too much, but she’s close with Raven and I’m worried that if she’s into her that Raven’s going to like her more than me,” Octavia explains, sighing. “I don’t want to have to feel like I’m competing with someone. Lots of people are attracted to Raven though. I see the way other students look at her, like they want to drink her in.”

“O, slow down a minute,” Clarke says, taking Octavia’s hands in hers. “Do you have any idea how many students wish to date you?” she asks, noticing every day how many people are looking at her best friend.

“No, I don’t,” Octavia answers, frowning. “I’m always paying attention to Raven and I can see how others look at her. I don’t care who would want to date me, because I only want to date Raven.”

“Maybe Raven only wants to date you and doesn’t notice all the students that look at her.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa can feel she is low on blood sugar by the dizziness she’s sensing. It’s her own fault because she shouldn’t have gone for a run so late, which caused her to miss breakfast because she couldn’t be late to teach. She slowly breathes out as she’s leaning her back against the wall. Right now her body needs some sugar.

She finds her wallet and takes some change out of it. The vending machines in the hallways are mostly used by students, though it’s not uncommon for professors to use them as well. This one is the closest to her classroom and it would be silly to go all the way to the cafeteria.

There are a few students in the hall, probably on their way to their next period, but other than that it’s mostly vacant. She puts her money in the vending machine and looks at the options. A Vermont nut-free milk chocolate bar seems like a decent choice, so she picks that one.

When the chocolate bar drops, she wastes no time taking the wrapper away to have a bite from it, followed by another bite. Chocolate can taste good from time to time. She sighs when she feels her arms itching. Her blouse is comfortable, so it’s weird that her arms are itching.

Her throat feels painful and her eyes are starting to water. It feels like she’s having an allergic reaction, but that’s impossible because those nut-free chocolate bars can’t possibly have even the slightest trace of nuts. She feels nauseous and it’s like she has to throw up. 

Her hand reaches for her throat because she feels like she can’t breathe anymore. This is a bad time not to have her epipen at hand, because it’s in her classroom with most of her things. She hears students approaching her, asking her with concern if she’s okay.

She tries to speak to tell them she’s having an allergic reaction, but no words come out. Her throat is closing up entirely. This is not how she imagined dying when she’s always threaded carefully with her health.

“Get out of my way!” Clarke shouts, pushing past the other students.

Lexa sees Clarke holding two epipens, which is strange because she only has one. She doesn’t struggle when her girlfriend makes her sit. It’s a necessary position for the epipen, she knows that from experience. She wonders if Clarke knows how to use it, though it seems like she does.

Clarke pulls the cap off of one of the epipens, relieved that she had those in her backpack. Ever since Lexa told her she’s severely allergic, she’s been carrying those epipens with her just in case an emergency would occur.

“No!” Ontari shouts, her jaw dropping as she joins the students. “I’m going to call 911.”

“Yes, do that,” Clarke says as she uses the epipen. “You’re going to be okay,” she whispers to Lexa. She takes one of her hands and squeezes softly.

Ontari barks at the other students to stop talking. She calls 911 and explains quickly what’s happening before hanging up. “Go back to whatever it is you need to get to,” she says to the other students. “This isn’t some kind of show.”

Clarke agrees that the others should dissipate because an ambulance is on the way and it will be easier if the hallway is cleared.

By the time an ambulance arrives, Clarke hasn’t let go of Lexa’s hand yet.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa lies awake in the hospital bed. She looks at Clarke who has fallen asleep on a chair, which makes her cringe a little because her girlfriend is going to wake up with a kink in her neck. It’s not a comfortable position to sleep in, but she knows Clarke was tired. She had asked her to go back to campus, which she stubbornly refused.

The door opens and Anya quietly walks in on her tiptoes.

“How are you feeling?” Anya asks, whispering.

“Much better,” Lexa answers, whispering as well. “The doctors are discharging me tomorrow.”

Anya looks at Clarke for a moment. “She saved your life,” she whispers. “It was lucky that she had an epipen and that she was fast to use it.”

Lexa nods because she really did get lucky. Without Clarke her allergic reaction would have been fatal. She felt angry when she was informed someone messed with the vending machines, which is incredibly dangerous for those who are allergic.

“The one time I use one of those vending machines I end up at the hospital,” Lexa whispers, sighing. “It’s late shouldn’t you be at home, sleeping?”

“I wanted to see you,” Anya answers silently. “You know I’m not blind, right?”

“Anya,” Lexa whispers while reaching out for her cousin’s hand.

“What happened must have left an impact on her, but she didn’t let go of your hand and she hasn’t left the hospital,” Anya whispers. “I saw the way you looked at her and how she looked at you. She’s a student and-”

“I know, but I can explain,” Lexa says, not having wanted Anya to find out this way. “Please don’t make a scene.”

“I’m not finished yet,” Anya replies, pressing her index finger against Lexa’s lips. “I’m not exactly happy that something is going on between you and a student, but I know how miserable you’ve been. You’re both adults and it’s not illegal, but it is somewhat frowned upon. I would have been ready to argue with you about this and to tell you to find someone a bit closer to your age, someone who isn’t a student, but I’m not going to argue with you.”

Lexa breathes out in relief, not wanting to argue either. The age gap between her and Clarke isn’t all that big, though she understand that it could be a bit concerning for Anya. It’s frustrating that her cousin is finding out about her relationship while it’s in such an early stage.

“I think she really cares about you,” Anya whispers, sighing. “She saved your life, so I’m not going to berate you for being involved with her. I hope she makes you happy because you deserve to be happy. Once she wakes up, I want to thank her for saving you.”

“Clarke is special, she’s full of life and light,” Lexa whispers with adoration. “She saved me more than once already.”

“You’ve always been the sap of the family,” Anya teases, chuckling quietly when Lexa slaps her.

Lexa gasps when Clarke falls out of the chair.

“Lexa,” Clarke mumbles, crawling back up. “Are you okay?” she asks, having heard noises. She gulps when she sees they’re not alone. “Hi, Miss Forest, I accidentally fell asleep.”

“You can breathe, Clarke,” Lexa whispers. “She knows.”

“Thank you for saving my cousin’s life,” Anya says to Clarke. “I will give you two some privacy. I’m going home anyway.”

Clarke awkwardly scratches the back of her neck as Miss Forest leaves. “I’m sorry she found out,” she says, because it’s probably her fault.

“It’s okay,” Lexa replies, taking Clarke’s hand in hers. “This bed is more comfortable,” she says, lifting the sheets up.

Clarke smiles and carefully gets in the bed. It’s a bit small, but she doesn’t mind being this close to Lexa. “The nurse is going to kill me when she finds us,” she whispers, knowing that she shouldn’t be in this bed.

“I won’t let her,” Lexa whispers, stroking Clarke’s hair. “Anyone who tries to get to you has to go through me first.”

“Mhmm, protective,” Clarke hums. “I like it.”

 


	19. Chapter 19

“I’m going to miss you babes during the holidays,” Raven says before sipping from her drink.

“Same,” Octavia says, sighing. “It’s going to be a bummer.”

“It’ll pass fast,” Ontari says. “Plus, we can always chat.”

“Ri has a point,” Clarke agrees, although she’ll miss her friends too. She’s going to spend Christmas and New Year’s at her father’s, since her contact with her mother is mostly ruined. She plans to spend some time with Lexa as well, a lot actually.

“Y’all's birthdays are going to come up soon,” Octavia says, wrapping her fingers around her second glass. “It’s unfair that I’m the youngest.”

“I think it is sweet you’re the youngest,” Raven replies, winking before taking another sip from her drink.

“I’ll pay for a keg here in Grounders for my birthday,” Ontari says. “Just the four of us, it’s going to be chill.”

“I can feel the oncoming headache already,” Clarke mumbles. She knows Ontari turns twenty early in January. Raven is second to turn twenty, halfway in January. She turns twenty near the end of January. It’s nice that it’s all in the same month, save from Octavia who doesn’t turn twenty until the summer.

“Maybe we can throw one big party in the middle of January,” Raven suggests. “For the three of us,” she says to Clarke and Ontari.

“I can get on board with that,” Clarke replies, because if she’s going to get hammered she’d rather not repeat that three times in the same month.

“Sure why not,” Ontari agrees. “I’ll arrange the booze.”

“Are you into someone, Ri?” Clarke asks, remembering that she told Octavia she would ask sometime.

Ontari raises an eyebrow up. “Way to be random,” she answers, smirking. “I don’t know,” she says, shrugging. “Some girls are nice to look at and stuff.”

“Lots of girls are nice to look at,” Raven says to Ontari. “The three of you for example.”

“You the most,” Octavia says to Raven.

“I’m surprised you don’t tip your chair over anymore when I smile at you.”

“Fuck you, Rae,” Octavia groans.

Clarke chuckles, never going to grow tired of the fact that Raven knew even then how obvious Octavia was being.

“When and where?” Raven asks Octavia, keeping eye-contact.

Octavia gasps and ends up knocking her drink over, causing it to spill over her lap.

“Getting wet already?” Raven teases, unrelenting.

Ontari snickers at that. “You need to step it up,” she says to Octavia.

“Fuck this,” Octavia mutters. She leans over the table, fists Raven’s shirt and pulls her into a searing kiss.

“Wow,” Clarke says, shocked by Octavia’s bold move.

“Damn, O,” Raven says. “That was… damn. You’re one hell of a kisser. Do that again.”

“You two need a room,” Ontari comments.

“Ri is right,” Clarke agrees. “I should get going to pack some of my things.”

“Don’t forget to text us every day,” Octavia says.

“I might visit my cousins during the holidays,” Ontari says. “Maybe you’ll see me around once or twice, Clarke.”

“You can always stop by at my dad’s place sometime,” Clarke replies. “Emily bakes good cookies, you’ll love them.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa has gotten around clearing up the boxes from the second bedroom so it can be turned into a guestroom. The holidays are closing in and it’s possible someone from her family would sleep over for at least a night. She’s watching the two men from the store unloading everything from their truck to put in the guestroom.

Her front door is open, which is cold because there’s snow outside. This morning when she went jogging she didn’t see Clarke, though she understands that the weather isn’t great to sit on a bench and she knows that her girlfriend is with her father now.

She’s pouring herself a cup of tea when two arms wrap around her waist. “You’re here,” she whispers, putting her teapot down.

Clarke brushes Lexa’s hair aside and kisses her neck. “I missed you,” she says, smiling when her girlfriend turns around.

“You saw me yesterday,” Lexa reminds Clarke.

“Nice to know you missed me too,” Clarke replies teasingly. She knows Lexa missed her as well because she can see it in her eyes.

Lexa tucks a lock of Clarke’s hair behind her ear and leans in to capture her lips. Her girlfriend tastes like cherry chapstick. It makes her want to taste more.

Clarke’s tongue probes at Lexa’s lips, deepening their kiss as her hands move down her girlfriend’s back, settling on her ass. She pushes Lexa against the counter and moans into her mouth when she feels her girlfriend’s bulge.

Lexa slips her hands under Clarke’s sweater, resting them on her hips. It drives her crazy when her girlfriend kisses her like this, pushing her against something. She turns their positions and puts her hands on Clarke’s thighs to lift her up on the counter.

Clarke cups the back of Lexa’s neck and kisses her again. “Where are your Christmas decorations?” she asks, not having seen any of those when she walked in.

“In boxes,” Lexa answers, pecking Clarke’s lips. She hasn’t bothered with unpacking those yet and she’s probably not going to decorate much.

“Okay,” Clarke says, jumping off of the counter. “We can decorate together then.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be with your family?”

“Not the whole time,” Clarke answers, circling her arms around Lexa’s waist. “I want to spend time with my girlfriend.”

Lexa rests her forehead against Clarke’s. “Your girlfriend sounds lucky,” she whispers.

“Mhmm, she can get even luckier if she wants to,” Clarke husks. She brushes her nose against Lexa’s before claiming her lips with hers.

Lexa smiles into their kiss, not blaming Clarke for trying. “I will light some candles,” she says, walking past her girlfriend to get to decorating.

Clarke would make a comment about it being broad daylight, but she knows Lexa likes candles a lot and even burns some during the day. “We should put some Christmas jingles on,” she suggests. “I have a whole bunch on my phone.”

“If you have any decent songs, sure,” Lexa replies, smiling when Clarke gives her a playful push. She probably should have played some music a while ago already because it must be weird for those men from the store to get the guestroom ready in silence.

“Your cousins know we’re together, so I was thinking about telling my dad,” Clarke announces casually to gauge Lexa’s reaction. “He’s chill with a lot of things and I think he’s going to like you.”

Lexa does worry about Clarke’s family possibly not liking her. It’s good that her cousins weren’t difficult about the news, though that doesn’t ensure her girlfriend’s parents will react well. She has never met Clarke’s father, but her girlfriend seems to speak highly of him. “Okay, if you want to tell him you can,” she says, not going to make a point out of it.

“I’ll see when it’s a good time to bring it up,” Clarke replies, though she’s positive her father won’t mind. She’s going to be twenty already in a month, so she’s definitely not a child. That reminds her of something she hasn’t asked before. “When’s your birthday?”

Lexa knew that question would come up sooner or later. “I will be twenty-eight in the beginning of March,” she answers, aware that there is an eight years gap between them.

Clarke nods and fishes her phone from her pocket to select a song while Lexa opens boxes with decorations. She checks her groupchat to see if she missed any messages from her friends.

 

 **Womanizer:** at my bro’s place, bored outta my mind

 **Reyes:** missing you babes

 **Reyes:** especially you, O

 **Little Blake:** I miss you too oxo

 **Reyes:** oxo

 **Womanizer:** you two are so cute

 **Griffster:** I miss y’all!

 **Little Blake:** what are you all up to?

 **Reyes:** I’m fixing a car

 **Reyes:** gotta have a hobby

 **Womanizer:** I’m in my room not doing anything

 **Griffster:** I’m going to put Christmas decorations up with my gf

 **Womanizer:** what are you up to, O?

 **Little Blake:** listening to music in my room

 **Griffster:** someone cancel my existence pls

 **Little Blake:** what happened?

 **Griffster:** one of my gf’s candles broke

 **Griffster:** she said “I can’t candle this”

 **Womanizer:** my family’s weird, you’ll get used to it

 **Womanizer:** the commander loves candles more than people

 **Griffster:** commander?

 **Womanizer:** it was a thing lots of people used to call her cuz she was such a big shot in martial arts

 

Clarke smiles and puts her phone away. “It’s okay,” she says to Lexa, putting her arms around her. “How about we go to the store together to buy some new candles?” she asks, even though her girlfriend has more than enough candles already.

“You always know what to say to make me feel better,” Lexa says, nodding. “We can go once those men are done.”

Clarke decides she won’t tell Lexa yet that she knows about the commander thing because it could be useful for certain future purposes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I wish I would have practiced more,” Clarke says, sighing as she adjusts her father’s guitar in her arms. “I’m really rusty and I can hardly play anything.”

“I’ll help you,” Jake promises. “You can do this, Clarke.”

“Even Aden knows how to play,” Clarke says, having heard her brother play a little while ago.

“Which song would you like to be able to play?”

“I want to know how to play Hearts from Sleeping At Last,” Clarke answers, blushing lightly. “It’s for a special someone,” she confesses.

Jake smiles and corrects Clarke’s fingers for the first note. “What’s the name of this mysterious stranger who is making my daughter smile so much?”

Clarke appreciates how her father isn’t sticking a gender to his question, though he never did that in the past either. Her parents have always been relaxed about her being bisexual. “Her name is Lexa,” she answers, sighing dreamily. “She’s so beautiful, dad. Inside and out,” she says, unable to express just how gorgeous her girlfriend is. “You’ll love her.”

“Anyone who can make you smile like that is okay in my book,” Jake replies, adjusting Clarke’s fingers for a different note. “Will you introduce her anytime soon? You can invite her over for Christmas if she’s available.”

Clarke will have to ask Lexa if that’s okay with her. “There’s one detail though,” she says, nervously biting her bottom lip. “She’s a little bit older than I am.”

“That’s alright,” Jake says, sounding relaxed. “Emily is a few years younger than I am,” he points out.

“Lexa is one of my professors,” Clarke reveals. “I really, really like her, dad.”

“Clarke,” Jake says softly, sighing as he puts his guitar aside. He presses the palm of his hand against his daughter’s chest. “What you feel in there is all that matters.”

Clarke breathes out in relief. “You’re okay with it then?” she asks with a hopeful smile. She had been preparing to defend her feelings for Lexa, but it seems like that isn’t necessary.

“As long as you’re happy I’m happy,” Jake answers, ruffling Clarke’s hair.

“Thanks, dad,” Clarke says, throwing her arms around her father to hug him.

“Hey, sweetie,” Emily says as she enters the room. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I didn’t want to disturb your conversation either. If Lexa comes over, she can try some of my homemade cookies.”

“That sounds nice,” Clarke replies, thinking of Emily’s delicious cookies. “You should know that she’s severely allergic to nuts though, so no nuts, not even a trace.”

“No nuts,” Emily repeats, nodding. “Is she allergic to anything else, such as bathing products?”

“Not that I know off,” Clarke answers, assuming Emily probably wants to buy Lexa a gift. “Thanks, Emily.”

“I’m going to make some popcorn if you want to come watch a movie with us. Aden and Tris are trying to decide which movie to watch.”

“I’ll join later,” Clarke promises. “For now I just want to learn how to play that song.”

“One more thing, sweetie,” Emily says softly. “Can you watch Aden and Tris for a few hours tomorrow?”

“Of course, no problem,” Clarke answers, smiling. It is nice how kind Emily has been towards her and how she’s treated equally, even though Emily isn’t her mother. She knows Emily isn’t trying to replace her mother in any way. “I’m hoping to go see my girlfriend tomorrow night if that’s okay?” she asks, looking between her father and Emily.

“You can,” Emily says when Jake doesn’t say anything. “Text us if you won’t be sleeping here though.”

“I will,” Clarke assures, because it’s only fair to warn them. “Thanks, Emily.”

 


	20. Chapter 20

Lexa weaves her fingers through Adria’s hair to braid it. “I finally got around getting a guestroom ready,” she says to Anya and Luna.

“That’s good to know,” Anya replies. “If we ever need you to watch Adria for a weekend, we’ll let you know.”

“It could serve that purpose,” Lexa says, not opposed to the idea. She knows Anya and Luna both invest a lot of time in Adria and it could be pleasant for them if they have a weekend to themselves sometime.

“We will probably go to Paris in the summer,” Anya says to Lexa. “My father already offered to have Adria spend the summer with him.”

“Adria could always stay with you for a few days though,” Luna says to Lexa. “The time can be split.”

“We’ll see when the summer comes around,” Lexa replies, not wanting to make any decisions yet. She knows her uncle Gustus adores Adria because he’s her grandfather.

“Polis found the culprit who was responsible for having messed with the vending machines,” Anya announces, thunder written on her face. “It was a small group of students and they have been expelled. Charges have been pressed against them and they will need to pay your hospital bill.”

“It’s a shame that incident took place,” Lexa says, finding it saddening that some students would think something like that is funny. It was a dangerous act and she isn’t the only one on campus who is allergic to nuts. “Who were the responsible students?”

“A ragtag group of wannabe rebels,” Anya answers, sighing. “From what I heard Finn Collins was the one who gave them the idea and helped them with the prosecution of it.”

“You should press charges as well,” Luna says to Lexa. “I know the school already pressed charges, but you had a severe allergic reaction and you could have died.”

“Don’t die, Lexa,” Adria says.

“I won’t,” Lexa assures Adria. “When it comes to pressing charges, yes, I will press charges,” she says to Anya and Luna. If it was a minor incident she could have let it slide, but it wasn’t minor at all. That joke nearly cost her life and it brought dozens of others in danger as well.

“I had hoped so,” Anya replies, sounding relieved. “I’ve contacted a lawyer for you already.”

“How did they find out who did it?” Lexa asks, surprised that finally they know. At first it had seemed the truth would never come to light. It’s a relief it has now so the responsible people can be punished for it and hopefully learn to never do such a thing again.

“There was another student who caught them doing it and recorded the evidence,” Anya answers, pulling her phone out of her pocket to show it to Lexa. “Students and their videos,” she mutters in disapproval. “It’s on YouTube.”

Lexa watches the video and shakes her head. “The student who filmed this could have warned the school,” she says, disappointed by the choices some people make. “I think I know which lawyer you called for me. It’s been a while since we saw Indra.”

“Adria, we’re going to the store for a bit,” Luna says, holding her hand out when Lexa is done braiding Adria’s hair. “You two can talk while we’re gone,” she says to her wife and to Lexa.

“Wait,” Anya replies, halting her wife. She cups her cheeks and kisses her. “I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I’ll be back in less than an hour,” Luna whispers, kissing her wife back. “I love you too.”

Lexa smiles at their interaction and she hopes that if she ever reaches ten years of marriage with someone it will be something similar to what her cousin has with Luna. She finds it endearing how they look at each other with sparkles in their eyes like they hang up the stars for each other. It gives her hope that true love might not be lost and maybe, just maybe, love isn’t weakness after all.

Deep down she doesn’t want to consider love as weakness. It doesn’t add up with her hopeless romantic self, but she wanted it to be her motto and wanted to believe in it to protect herself. She wanted to shield herself from the pain that too often comes with love. The scary thing about love is that someone could wake up one morning and no longer feel love for the person they’re with.

Maybe it’s a sad attempt to ease her pain, but she wants to believe that Costia used to feel something for her. There’s no way they could have spent four years together without a trace of love. Her ex must have loved her, even if it was only in the beginning. They were best friends and then the lines blurred.

She has given her memories a place, for the most part. Her past doesn’t haunt her the way it used to. She’s with Clarke now, who accepts her for who she is. Her girlfriend looks at her the way Anya and Luna look at each other, only with an extra dose of butterflies. Not that she is any better because Clarke told her before that she has hearteyes.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke lets the dice roll. “Three,” she says, moving her piece three spaces. “I hope I don’t end up in jail again,” she mumbles.

“You can always admit your defeat,” Aden suggests.

“Nope, not going to happen,” Clarke replies, poking her tongue out of her mouth. “One of these days I’m going to win.”

“Not a chance,” Tris says, shaking her head. “Aden and I have been playing this game for a few years.”

“I’ve played this game since before you were born,” Clarke points out.

“I can see that,” Tris replies teasingly.

“Oh, so you’re sassing me now, huh?” Clarke asks, smiling as she gets up to tickle Tris.

“No!” Tris shrieks, squirming as her sister tickles her. “Aden, help me.”

Clarke tries to stand her ground, but with Tris and Aden teaming up against her she winds up on the ground quite fast. “I surrender with my invisible white flag,” she says, holding her hands up.

The doorbell rings.

“A little help,” Clarke says, making grabby movements with her hands. “Thanks,” she says when she’s back up on her feet. She makes a dash for the door to see who it is.

“Hey, I was in the neighborhood,” Ontari says, nodding her head up at Clarke. “I figured I’d stop by for a little bit.”

“Hey, Ri,” Clarke replies, a little breathless. “Come in,” she says, letting her friend enter. “This is my brother, Aden and my sister, Tris.”

“We were winning at monopoly,” Tris informs Ontari. “Clarke sucks at it.”

“Ah-ah,” Clarke tuts. “Watch your language.”

“I like this kid,” Ontari says, ruffling Tris’ hair. “If you all want a fourth player, I’m game.”

“I hope you suck at it then,” Clarke says, not realizing her slip-up until Tris gasps and points an accusatory finger at her. “Oh shit… crap. I’m just going to shut up now.”

Ontari chuckles at that. “Nice going, Griff,” she says, amused. “By the way, I’m the game champion. Board games, online games, anything.”

“If you lose I want you to wear something pink for a month,” Clarke says to make things interesting.

“I hate pink and you know it,” Ontari replies, grumbling. “Fine, I’ll accept your challenge, but if you lose I get to pick something for you.”

“Deal,” Clarke says, shaking Ontari’s hand. “I feel like I just made a deal with the devil.”

“That’s because you did,” Ontari says, grinning as she cracks her knuckles. “Let the games begin.”

“I’ll get us some snacks before starting up a new game,” Clarke says. “Do you want something to drink, Ri?”

“Yeah, some lemonade or something will do.”

Clarke makes herself scarce in the kitchen for a few minutes to get soda and snacks. When she returns to the living room Tris, Aden and Ontari are on the floor in a tangled mess, tickling each other.

“I’m not ticklish,” Ontari says with a big grin as she launches more tickles onto Tris and Aden.

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Clarke says, shaking her head.

“Oh yeah?” Ontari replies smugly. “Come try me.”

Clarke puts the tray with drinks and snacks down on the table and walks over to Ontari. Before she can even tickle her friend, Ontari grasps her arm and twists it behind her back. “That’s not fair,” she groans as she tries to get free.

“Life isn’t always fair,” Ontari replies while letting go. “Let’s play so I can kick your ass.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke has her knees on either side of Lexa’s lap, kissing her intensively. They’ve been making out like this for an hour and her girlfriend’s blown pupils are turning her on more. Plus the fact that Lexa has been sucking on her tongue and has been biting her lip.

Lexa releases Clarke’s lips, both of them gasping for air. “Your lips are the softest lips I’ve ever kissed,” she whispers, which is not a lie. The lips she kissed in the past were mostly slightly chapped rather than smooth like her girlfriend’s lips.

“I was thinking the same thing about your lips,” Clarke whispers. “It’s impossible to get enough of your kisses.”

“We should drink something before we get dehydrated,” Lexa says, tapping Clarke’s thigh so her girlfriend will get off of her.

Clarke whines, though she does oblige. “I told my dad about you,” she says while Lexa gets them some water. “He took the news really well and so did Emily. They both want to meet you and want to know if you’re free to join us on Christmas.”

Lexa hadn’t made any concrete plans yet other than spending some time with her family. “Okay,” she says, even though she’ll be a little bit nervous. Meeting parents is an important step in a relationship.

“I want to play something for you, if I may,” Clarke says, gesturing at Lexa’s guitar to ask permission.

Lexa puts two glasses of water on her low table and sits down on her couch. “I’m all ears,” she says, nodding to let Clarke use her guitar.

Clarke has spent hours upon hours practicing for this. She hopes she will get the notes right and she knows her voice isn’t the best, but it’s the thought that counts. She settles down comfortably with Lexa’s guitar in her lap.

Lexa turns slightly so she can face Clarke, to let her know she’s listening and watching. She’s curious to hear which song her girlfriend has chosen.

 

_I'm short of breath_

_Standing next to you_

_I'm out of my depth_

_At this altitude_

_Like the world makes sense_

_From your window seat_

_You are beautiful_

_Like I've never seen_

 

Lexa feels her eyes becoming watery because Clarke is smiling while she sings. Her girlfriend sounds like an angel and she wonders how she got so lucky to be in a relationship with someone so exquisite. She recognizes the song, having heard it before, more than once.

_Go ahead and laugh_

_Even if it hurts_

_Go ahead and pull the pin_

_What if we could risk_

_Everything we have_

_And just let our walls cave in_

Lexa wipes at her eyes, but she can’t stop her tears from falling. She’s been building her walls so high and Clarke has been knocking her walls down.

_I'm short of breath_

_Standing next to you_

_I'll be the dangerous ledge_

_You be the parachute_

_Blue and green below_

_Is a masterpiece_

_But you are beautiful_

_Like I've never seen_

 

Lexa shakes her head and smiles when Clarke simply nods. She listens as her girlfriend plays and sings the rest of the song. The fact that Clarke is dedicating this song to her touches her deeply. Nobody has ever treated her as gentle as her girlfriend treats her.

“You’ll never be anything less than beautiful in my eyes,” Clarke says in earnest. She puts the guitar aside so she can pull Lexa close to her. “You’re a work of art, Lex.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

Clarke grasps the hem of Lexa’s shirt and when her girlfriend nods, she wastes no time lifting it over her head. She discards it onto the floor and kisses her way from Lexa’s jaw down to her neck and her collarbones.

“May I?” Lexa asks, pausing as she gestures at Clarke’s shirt.

“Please,” Clarke answers breathily.

Lexa slowly lifts Clarke’s shirt up, kissing her exposed stomach as she lifts it up higher. Her movements are gentle as she pulls her girlfriend’s shirt over her head to discard it. She puts her hands on Clarke’s thighs and stands up from her couch.

Clarke reflexively wraps her legs around Lexa’s waist. “Mhmm,” she moans upon seeing her muscular arms. Seeing her girlfriend without a shirt on is hot and she was right, Lexa has abs. “You look so good in that sports bra,” she whispers in her ear.

Lexa inhales sharply when Clarke nips at her earlobe. She stumbles into her bedroom and carefully lowers her girlfriend onto her bed. Her chest is heaving and her cheeks are flushed. She climbs on top of Clarke and claims her lips.

Clarke eagerly returns the kiss, kissing Lexa back hungrily. Her hands move up and down her girlfriend’s back. “Lexa,” she whimpers, placing her hands on Lexa’s ass to press her closer.

Lexa gasps and pulls away from Clarke’s grip on her. She sits down on her knees and looks at her girlfriend, noticing how aroused she appears. Their kisses had quickly turned heated and it had caused her to get carried away.

Clarke takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to cool herself down. She runs a hand through her hair and mirrors Lexa’s position, sitting on her knees as well. “Too soon?” she asks, though she can answer that question herself and say that it is.

Almost two months, that’s how long Lexa has been together with Clarke. She wants to do this right and she wouldn’t want to ruin what they have by rushing things. Her response to her girlfriend is a nod.

“It’s okay,” Clarke whispers, reaching out to put her hands on Lexa’s shoulders. “We can stay like this.”

Lexa leans forward on her knees, carefully balancing her weight so she doesn’t roughly fall on top of Clarke. She places a finger under her girlfriend’s chin and meets her lips in the softest, most tender kiss they shared so far.

Clarke parts her lips and runs her tongue along Lexa’s bottom lip. She puts her hands behind her girlfriend’s neck and slowly falls back until her back meets the mattress, her lips still attached to Lexa’s as she pulls her down with her.

“We should dress more comfortably to sleep,” Lexa whispers.

Clarke wriggles from underneath Lexa and sits up. She reaches behind her back, unclasping her bra. “All I need is a shirt,” she says, smiling because her girlfriend is staring at her. “Like what you see?”

Lexa’s tongue darts out of her mouth to wet her dry lips. “Yes,” she answers, unable to stop staring. Clarke’s breasts are full and perfect and she can’t shake the thought of wanting to put her hands and her mouth all over them.

“You look thirsty, Lex,” Clarke husks teasingly. She gets up from the bed and walks over to her girlfriend’s closet. “Can I borrow a shirt?”

Lexa nods and gets up from her bed as well. “I will be back in a bit,” she promises. She presses a kiss to Clarke’s forehead before dashing out of her bedroom.

Clarke checks her phone to see if she has any more texts. She already sent a text to her father to let him know she won’t be sleeping at home tonight.

 

 **Little Blake:** guess who surprised me with a visit?

 **Womanizer:** you two are gross

 **Womanizer:** cute

 **Womanizer:** but gross

 **Reyes:** I missed my baby, I had to see her

 **Little Blake:** best holidays ever!

 **Griffster:** I’m happy for you two

 **Little Blake:** Ri, I heard you got beat at monopoly

 **Womanizer:** don’t remind me

 **Griffster:** Ri’s gonna wear something pink for a month

 **Reyes:** haha, Ri!

 **Womanizer:** I hate y’all

 **Womanizer:** in case you forgot

 **Little Blake:** please, you love us

 **Griffster:** where are you, Ri?

 **Womanizer:** back at my bro’s place

 **Womanizer:** ugh I gotta go

 **Womanizer:** don’t bullshit me!

 **Reyes:** Ri?

 **Womanizer:** wrong chat

 **Womanizer:** I do have to go though

 **Griffster:** we’re here if you wanna talk

 

“I see you are glued to your phone again,” Lexa says, slipping back into her bedroom.

“Oh, hey, you’re back,” Clarke replies, nearly dropping her phone. “I was just checking my messages and chatting with my friends for a little bit,” she explains as she quickly puts her phone aside.

Lexa lies down on her side of the bed and looks at Clarke expectantly.

Clarke crawls under the covers and nuzzles up against Lexa. “Goodnight, beautiful,” she whispers.

Lexa strokes Clarke’s hair, comforted to have her so close. “Goodnight, my love,” she whispers, closing her eyes to rest.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke swings the door open, a bright smile on her face. “You’re early,” she says, not having expected Lexa to arrive for at least another half hour.

“I call this being punctual,” Lexa replies, stepping inside.

“Hello, you must be Lexa,” Emily says with a friendly smile while holding her hand out.

“Yes, ma’am,” Lexa confirms respectfully whilst shaking the outstretched hand.

Emily chuckles and shakes her head. “You may call me Emily,” she says, dropping Lexa’s hand.

“Emily then,” Lexa corrects. “I have a small gift for you,” she says as she hands it over. It’s some soap and such she bought at a store.

“Thank you, you shouldn’t have.”

Clarke nervously bites her bottom lip, relieved to see that it’s going well so far. She hopes Lexa won’t be too overwhelmed by her family, though she has a feeling they are going to adore her. “Lexa, this is my dad,” she says, gesturing at her father. 

“Hello, Lexa, I am dad,” Jake says, smiling as he pulls Lexa into a hug.

Lexa hadn’t expected the sudden hug.

“Dad,” Clarke groans, face-palming.

“Don’t mind him, he’s silly,” Emily says to Lexa, her voice dripping with affection. “You can call him Jake.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” Lexa says respectfully. “Jake,” she corrects quickly when she notices he’s about to correct her. So far she has a positive impression about Emily and Jake, who seem kind.

“You already met my siblings before,” Clarke says to Lexa.

Lexa remembers Halloween. “Hello, Aden,” she says to the young boy.

“Hello,” Aden replies, offering Lexa a shy smile. He holds his hand out to shake hers. “It’s nice that you’re dating my sister.”

“It is nice for me as well,” Lexa says, smiling. “Hello, Tris,” she says, turning to the little girl.

“My sister talks about you all the time,” Tris says, moving her arms around in big gestures. “Are you going to marry her?”

“Why is my family like this,” Clarke mutters.

“I think it’s adorable,” Lexa whispers in Clarke’s ear, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze. “Marriage is a very big step, sweetie,” she says to Tris. “I don’t think I can lift my knee that high,” she continues, lifting her foot just a few inches from the floor.

Clarke feels herself melting while Tris giggles. It’s sweet to see how Lexa dares to be silly around her family.

“You are going to fit right in,” Jake says, patting Lexa’s shoulder. “I like this one, Clarke.”

“I really like her too, dad,” Clarke replies, liking Lexa more than words can express.

“I baked cookies,” Emily says, retrieving a tray with cookies from the kitchen. “These are hundred percent nut-free,” she assures Lexa. “Clarke informed us about your allergy.”

“Thank you,” Lexa says as she takes a cookie from the tray. “You’re very kind.”

“I heard you play guitar and piano,” Jake says to Lexa.

“That is correct,” Lexa confirms. She wonders what else Clarke told her parents about her. It’s cute how much her girlfriend must have gushed about her.

“Great,” Jake replies with a warm smile. “I have a guitar and a piano. Perhaps you can play something for us?”

“Slow down, dad,” Clarke interrupts.

Lexa is not going to sing, because that’s something private, though she could play a piece without singing. “I don’t mind, Clarke,” she says, placing a hand at the small of her girlfriend’s back. “Any particular requests?” she asks Jake.

“Play anything you like.”

Clarke sits down on the couch with her family while Lexa walks over to the piano. She hasn’t heard her girlfriend play piano before, so she’s quite curious to hear her play. If Lexa is half as good on a piano as she is on a guitar then it’s going to sound beautiful.

Lexa decides to play River Flows in you, because it’s one of her favorites to play on the piano. This piano vaguely reminds her of the one she used to have as a child, in her father’s house. It was a big winged black piano and she would play almost every day.

Clarke holds her breath while Lexa plays. The song is emotional and it fits her girlfriend who has been through a lot. Even her family, who are usually hardly ever quiet, have fallen silent as Lexa plays.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Pass the potatoes,” Tris says, stretching her hand out.

“I can’t reach them either,” Aden says helplessly. “Mom, can I have another glass of lemonade?”

“I’ll go get it for you,” Emily answers, getting up from the table. “Does anyone else need a refill?”

“Yes, my glass is empty,” Clarke answers.

Lexa passes the bowl of potatoes to Tris. She’s used to sitting at a table where everyone is being crowded, having had dinners like this with her own family more than once. If she hadn’t been here right now she would probably be spending Christmas with Anya.

“Are you sleeping over, Lexa?” Jake asks.

“I don’t want to impose,” Lexa answers hesitantly. She can go home once they all go to bed, it’s not that far.

“It is okay, Lexa,” Clarke says, putting her hand on her girlfriend’s thigh under the table. “You can sleep over in my room.”

Lexa glances at Jake, unsure if he’s okay with the thought of his daughter having someone in her room. Clarke is an adult, yes, but that doesn’t indicate it would be allowed. Her father never allowed her to have someone sleep over.

Jake smiles and nods encouragingly.

“I will keep my hands to myself, sir,” Lexa assures Jake.

“But I like cuddles,” Clarke mumbles, pouting at Lexa.

Lexa kisses Clarke’s cheek because she sees no need for her girlfriend’s family to witness them kissing. “You can have cuddles,” she says quietly to ease Clarke’s mind.

“I have to go to my room for a bit,” Clarke says, excusing herself from the table. “There are too many stuffed animals in my bed.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow up. “You sleep with stuffed animals?” she asks, amused to learn this new fact about Clarke.

“What?” Clarke replies, laughing awkwardly. “I… no, hah, of course not…I don’t have a room full of stuffed animals.”

“That is a truly convincing answer, Clarke.”

 


	22. Chapter 22

Lexa gasps and clutches the sheets in her hands as Clarke’s tongue laps around her sensitive nipple. “Clarke,” she whispers, lifting her hands up to put them on her girlfriend’s shoulders. “We should sleep.”

Clarke briefly looks up at Lexa. “I’m not tired yet,” she replies, bringing her mouth back to her nipple.

“Your parents are down the hall,” Lexa whispers, sighing as she lightly pushes Clarke away. As much as she was enjoying it, they can’t be doing this.

“Then we’ll just have to keep quiet,” Clarke whispers, unrelenting. She grinds against Lexa, eliciting a moan from her that automatically draws a moan from her as well. Hearing her girlfriend moan is a major turn on for her. 

“What exactly do you think is going to happen tonight?” Lexa asks quietly, frowning.

Clarke kisses Lexa’s cheek and then her lips. “Nothing you don’t want to happen,” she answers, toying with a lock of her girlfriend’s hair.

“I don’t want to have sex,” Lexa whispers, holding Clarke’s gaze to let her know she’s serious. “Especially not here.”

“Okay,” Clarke replies, not minding that even though she’s a bit turned on. “Do you want your shirt back?”

Lexa nods and two seconds later Clarke is handing her shirt over. “Would you like to spend New Year’s at my place?” she asks once her shirt is tugged into place. “It will be just the two of us,” she whispers, wanting to create some romance.

“I’d love to,” Clarke answers, smiling as she nods. She kisses Lexa’s jawline and stops close to her mouth. “You’re special,” she whispers, melting their lips together.

Lexa is having a hard time now that Clarke is grinding on top of her again, literally. “You’re torturing me,” she whimpers.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke whispers, smiling down at Lexa.

“No you’re not,” Lexa replies, knowing that Clarke is enjoying this. “Behave or I will punish you.”

“Mhmm,” Clarke moans, biting her bottom lip. “Are you going to punish me for being a naughty girl?”

Lexa sighs. She should have seen that coming. “You are going to be the death of me,” she whispers, wrapping Clarke in her arms.

“I can feel how hard you are,” Clarke whispers, tucking her head under Lexa’s chin.

“Go to sleep, Clarke,” Lexa replies, wishing to ignore that she is aroused. It’s neither the time nor the place.

It’s silent for a while until Clarke quietly starts singing killing me softly.

“Dork,” Lexa whispers, caressing Clarke’s back. “Goodnight, Clarke.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is wearing one of her best suits because it’s important to look decent for the court case. She was surprised by how fast it’s all taking place, though at the same time she wants to get it over with. It’s somewhat frustrating that some students have been called in for their testimony, which she is sure they don’t appreciate much during the holidays.

“Thank you for representing me on such a short notice,” Lexa says politely to Indra. She gives the older woman a firm handshake.

“It is a small favor, Miss Woods,” Indra replies respectfully. “Are you ready to go in?”

Lexa sucks a deep breath into her lungs and releases it slowly before nodding. She follows her lawyer inside. On the benches she sees the witnesses who had seen her have that allergic reaction. She sees Clarke, who will be called to the stand because she was the one to utilize the epipen. Next to her girlfriend she sees her younger cousin, who was the one who called 911.

Finn is sitting with his head hung down, fidgeting with his hands as he’s sitting next to the few students who helped him with the dangerous prank.

Lexa walks past the benches, fixing Finn and his company with a brief glare. She pressed charges against them for intentional assault and battery, because they pulled that prank on purpose, putting thought into it.

The judge slams his hammer down and calls for order to silence those who were murmuring.

Clarke gets up from the bench when she’s the first one who is being called to the stand to testify. She’s angry that Finn is the one who is behind the incident with the vending machines, which makes her hate him with a burning passion and wish she would have never given him the time of day.

“Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God, under pains and penalties of perjury?”

Clarke puts her hand on the bible and holds her other hand up. “I swear,” she answers, having no reason to lie anyway.

Lexa listens as Clarke relays how she had seen her struggling to breathe. She hears a few questions being asked about the epipen. It feels like time is standing still. Her girlfriend doesn’t look shy or nervous. Clarke looks strong and confident in the suit she’s wearing and with the way her voice doesn’t waver as she tells her side of that day.

When it’s Ontari’s turn to go up to the stand she bares her teeth at Finn.

“Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God, under pains and penalties of perjury?”

“Yes, I swear,” Ontari answers, her voice dripping with venom. Her testimony is brief as she relays having called 911.

Clarke clenches her fists tightly when it’s Finn’s turn to go up to the stand. He looks like a kicked puppy, which makes her hate him more. There is nothing innocent about her ex, who is now telling his side while crying as if he wouldn’t be guilty. She hopes Lexa’s lawyer will rip a new hole in him.

“It was meant to be a harmless prank,” Finn says. “I didn’t think anyone would be allergic to something. People pull jokes all the time and that’s all it was, just a joke.”

“Did you or did you not replace the nut-free chocolate with chocolate that contains nuts?” Indra asks Finn.

“Yes, but I didn’t know someone would be allergic.”

“Nut allergy is the most common type of food allergy,” Indra replies sternly. “Are you aware of that?”

Finn sighs. “Yes,” he answers, sighing again. “But I didn’t know any of this was going to happen.”

“Polis has hundreds of students and dozens of professors,” Indra points out. “You claim it did not cross your mind someone could be allergic?”

“I wasn’t thinking…,” Finn answers, throwing his hands up. “It was just a joke.”

Indra doesn’t even blink at the sight of Finn crying. “Miss Woods ended up in the hospital,” she says coolly. “Your so called joke nearly led to her death. Did you or did you not thoughtfully planned that prank?”

“Yes, I planned it,” Finn admits. “All I wanted to do was annoy people when they would receive the wrong candy from the vending machines.”

Nearly an hour later Lexa sits back when the judge gives the jury some time to discuss; hoping that Finn and his accomplices won’t get away with it easily. She grew tired of listening to them, claiming it was a small prank. They purposefully planned it out and they should have known better than doing something like that.

Clarke sees how badly Finn is sweating. It’s good that her ex is nervous because he definitely should be. His actions can land him in jail. She hopes the jury won’t thread lightly about what happened. Justice needs to be served.

The jury comes back, having reached a unanimous decision.

“Order,” the judge demands while slamming his hammer down. “Mister Collins, you are guilty of intentional assault and battery. You are hereby sentenced to eighteen months in prison and you need to pay Miss Woods five-thousand dollars.”

Lexa breathes out in relief upon hearing they won’t let him off easy. She vaguely registers the judge giving Finn’s accomplices six months of probation. The money is irrelevant to her because she has always had money, though she knows it’s a standard procedure to make up for her hospital bills.

Clarke has never seen Finn so terrified. It almost makes her pity him, but she knows better. Her ex isn’t a saint and the punishment he’s been given is exactly what he deserves. She gets up from the bench with Ontari, not sparing Finn another glance.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa closes her last curtains and smiles at all the candles that are burning. The lights of her Christmas tree are on as well. She looks forward to spend her New Year’s Eve with Clarke. Two bottles of champagne seems like enough. She will allow her girlfriend to drink a little bit, though not too much.

Her doorbell rings.

“Hey, I’m here,” Clarke says, rubbing her hands together due to the cold.

Lexa quickly lets Clarke enter, seeing some snow in her blonde locks. “You should have put gloves on and a scarf,” she says, hoping her girlfriend won’t catch a cold.

“It is okay, my dad dropped me off,” Clarke replies, zipping her coat open. She hands it to Lexa who hangs it up for her. “Don’t mind my sweater,” she says, sighing because it’s red and all Christmas-like. “Emily knitted it for me.”

“It suits you,” Lexa says with a smile. “It’s sweet that you’re wearing it.”

“More like I had to or I’d still be at my dad’s place,” Clarke corrects. “Anyway,” she says as she puts her arms around Lexa’s waist, “I missed you.”

It has hardly been two days since they saw each other. “I missed you too,” Lexa replies, pulling Clarke into a kiss. “Make yourself at home while I get our appetizers.”

Clarke walks over to the fireplace in Lexa’s living room to warm her hands. Her girlfriend’s house always looks nice and she likes the warmth that’s not only coming from the fireplace, but from the candles as well. Those two combined spread a pleasant glow.

“Would you like a glass of champagne?” Lexa asks, bottle in her hand. She’s about to open the first bottle anyway to pour herself a glass.

“Sure,” Clarke answers, slightly surprised Lexa isn’t commenting on her age. It’s such a bummer sometimes that the legal age to drink is twenty-one, not that it matters because she drinks at Grounders, at college parties and she also drank a bit at her dad’s place when her girlfriend was there to celebrate Christmas.

Lexa removes the cork from the bottle and pours two glasses. She puts the glasses on a tray along with a bowl of chips and mini pizzas she made herself. “You can choose a movie if you want to watch one with me,” she says as she joins Clarke in her living room. She puts the tray down on the low table in front of her couch.

“You’re going to be in for some romantic movies tonight,” Clarke replies as she sits down on the couch next to Lexa.

Lexa folds a blanket open to cover them with it. “I can live with that,” she says, because she’s a hopeless romantic anyway.

“Mhmm, pizza,” Clarke says, licking her lips. She eagerly reaches out to grab one of the mini pizzas. “I thought you weren’t a fan of pizza.”

“These are homemade. I hope you’ll like them.”

Clarke takes a small bite, careful not to burn her tongue. “Delicious,” she says approvingly.

“Better than Tony’s?” Lexa asks curiously. She knows how much Clarke loves the pizzas from that place, which she can’t relate to.

“Hmm, maybe,” Clarke answers, though Lexa’s mini pizzas do taste better than the pizzas from Tony’s. “Okay, yes, your tiny pizzas taste better,” she admits when her girlfriend stares at her.

Lexa sips from her champagne, enjoying seeing Clarke devouring the mini pizzas. She puts one arm around her girlfriend and waits for her to select a movie for them. “I love you, Clarke,” she whispers, letting go of the thought that love would be weakness. There’s nothing weak about admitting that she loves her girlfriend.

Clarke feels like she’s about to combust out of happiness. “I love you too, Lexa,” she whispers, forgetting all about the pizzas and the movie as she gets on her girlfriend’s lap to kiss her.

Lexa reciprocates the kiss without hesitating. She’s happy to have Clarke in her life who shows her what love is supposed to feel like.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like I posted the next chapter anyway. :)  
> I'm going to be very busy tomorrow so idk.  
> The next chapter is ready too, but you've all been spoiled already. Hmm.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I gave in anyway. It's night here and this chapter seems good to read when it's late. Do not read this in public. Or do, but you've been warned. Get comfy and enjoy, maybe?

Clarke crosses her arms and grasps the hem of her sweater, pulling it over her head. She looks into Lexa’s eyes, which are now a darker shade of green. Once her sweater is discarded she runs a hand through her hair, all the while her girlfriend watches her, which is precisely what she wants.

Lexa finds it difficult to breathe, seeing Clarke in a red lacy bra. She hooks her fingers behind the straps and gently pulls her closer to close the small gap between them. Her hands move from the straps to Clarke’s back and when her girlfriend nods against her, she unclasps her bra.

Clarke leans back so Lexa can slide the straps of her bra down. She smiles at the way her girlfriend is staring at her breasts. “You’re overdressed,” she says, tugging at Lexa’s shirt. It only seems fair to her if her girlfriend gets rid of some clothing as well.

Lexa lifts her arms up to make it easier for Clarke to take her shirt off. A quiet gasp escapes her when her girlfriend takes her sport bra and her shirt off in one motion. She thought Clarke would only want her shirt gone to begin with, although it’s okay.

“Is this okay?” Clarke asks, cupping Lexa’s cheeks to check for any trace of her girlfriend possibly not wanting this. She’d hate to do anything that would make Lexa feel bad.

“Yes,” Lexa answers, not minding having Clarke seeing her topless. She’s comfortable with this kind of exposure around her girlfriend.

That’s all Clarke needs to hear to continue. She pushes Lexa down on the couch, lying down on top of her. Her hands cup her girlfriend’s breasts, teasing her nipples as she kisses her.

“Clarke,” Lexa whimpers, feeling her girlfriend pinching her nipples.

Clarke brings one hand up to caress Lexa’s cheek. “Do you want me to stop?” she asks, searching her eyes.

“No,” Lexa answers, smiling. “I think we would be more comfortable in my bed.”

“Oh,” Clarke whispers, feeling her cheeks heat up. “Yes,” she agrees. She gets up from the couch so Lexa can get up as well. “Lead the way.”

Lexa places her hands under Clarke’s thighs, lifting her up to carry her to her bedroom.

Clarke pulls Lexa down on the bed with her. She grasps her wrists, pinning them above her head as she leans down to kiss her girlfriend. “You’re so beautiful,” she rasps, drinking Lexa in with her eyes. She lowers herself to kiss her girlfriend’s chest while her hands let go of her wrists, slowly moving down Lexa’s arms.

Lexa tangles her hands in Clarke’s hair, tugging lightly to make her girlfriend move up again. She smiles when Clarke takes the hint and kisses her.

Clarke nips at Lexa’s bottom lip and returns to kiss down her chest, down to the valley of her breasts. She swirls her tongue around her nipple while giving her other nipple attention with her hand.

“Clarke,” Lexa moans. She feels her girlfriend’s hand moving down her stomach, resting right above the waistband of her pants.

Clarke gazes up to see Lexa’s face, watching with rapt interest how her mouth falls open just a little as she strokes her member through her pants. Even through the fabric she can feel that Lexa is hard and as she glances down she can see the outline of her member, which has her gasping for air.

Lexa opens her eyes and looks at Clarke, who is being a naughty girl. “I think I’m at my full eight inches now,” she whispers, though she’s usually not one to brag about that. With her girlfriend it’s different because she can see the reaction she has on her, how much she turns her on.

“Fuck,” Clarke whimpers, quite sure she’s soaked already. She lost count of the nights she fantasized about having sex with Lexa. Tonight she might be getting lucky, or at least she hopes she will because she wants to ride her girlfriend so badly it hurts. 

Lexa lifts her hips up from her mattress when Clarke grasps her pants to make it easier for her. She’s wearing black boxer briefs underneath them.

Clarke shimmies Lexa’s pants down her legs and tosses them onto the floor. “Beautiful,” she whispers, admiring the sight of her girlfriend in nothing but underwear. She kisses her way up from Lexa’s ankles to her inner thighs, reminding her with each kiss how beautiful she is.

Hearing Clarke calling her beautiful so many times is awakening a lot of emotions inside of Lexa. She can’t help the few tears that slide down her cheeks as her girlfriend tenderly kisses her way up her body.

Clarke lies down next to Lexa to unbutton her own pants, but she stops when her girlfriend shakes her head. “Do you want to take them off for me?” she asks, batting her eyelashes. She hopes that’s what Lexa is getting at, unless she has been reading this situation completely wrong. 

“Yes,” Lexa answers, reaching out to unbutton Clarke’s pants. When her girlfriend lifts her butt up from her bed, she slides her pants down. She kisses Clarke’s feet as she takes her pants off.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers, dipping her fingertips just barely under the waistband of her girlfriend’s underwear. “Can I take these off?”

Lexa slowly breathes out because their underwear is the last barrier that’s left between them. It’s a big step for her to have Clarke seeing her fully naked. She’s worried her girlfriend could still possibly be disgusted, but she tries to push that feeling down. Clarke has been giving her a lot of reassurance of how beautiful she thinks she is, so she shouldn’t worry so much. A small inkling of fear to be rejected is woven into her core, a fear she needs to face. 

Clarke is about to retrieve her fingers just as Lexa nods. “Are you okay with this?” she asks, needing confirmation once more. She looks into her eyes to make sure there's no conflict in them, no trace that would hint at her not wanting this. 

“Yes, my love,” Lexa answers, lying down on her back to make it easier for Clarke. “I trust you,” she whispers, which is an even bigger step for her. If her girlfriend tells her she thinks she’s beautiful then she believes her. Clarke is too special and too good to lie to her.

Clarke’s lips split into a genuine smile. She never wants to do anything that could shatter the trust Lexa has in her. “I love you,” she whispers, softly pressing her lips to her girlfriend’s.

Lexa holds on to Clarke, losing herself into their kiss as their tongues meet. It’s not a battle of dominance. They kiss like equals in a gentle harmony as they explore each other’s mouth. She can taste some of the champagne on her girlfriend’s tongue. They didn’t get any further than the first bottle, having been too occupied with each other.

Clarke takes Lexa’s boxer briefs off and she doesn’t mean to gape because she doesn’t want her girlfriend to feel exposed, but wow. The first thing she notices is that Lexa is completely shaven. Another thing she observes is the fact that she doesn’t seem to have any foreskin, so she must have gotten circumcised at some point in her life. 

Lexa shakes her head when it looks like Clarke is about to grind on top of her. “I should buy condoms,” she says, sighing because she doesn’t have any. That’s something she should have thought of, but she didn’t plan for any of this to happen tonight.

“I take the pill,” Clarke replies, just so Lexa can know that it’s okay. She’s been on the pill for several years by now. It’s a habit, which she is now very thankful for. “I also got tested about a month ago and I’m clean,” she says reassuringly. After the stunt Finn pulled by dating her and Raven at the same time she made sure to get tested more than once, in case he had been sleeping around with others aside from the two of them.

“Okay,” Lexa whispers, smoothing her hair over her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” she asks, not wanting Clarke to regret this tomorrow.

“I’m sure,” Clarke answers, really wanting this to happen. It feels right to her to take this step with Lexa. “Are you comfortable with this? I’ll understand if you’re not ready.”

Lexa knows she has the chance to say no at any second, but she feels like she’s ready. She thinks she is. “I want to make love to you,” she whispers, moving a hand down Clarke’s chest. “I want to make you feel good.”

Clarke shivers in anticipation. “I want to feel you inside of me,” she whispers, needy and aroused.

“Soon,” Lexa promises. She takes Clarke’s underwear off, spreads her legs open and kneels down between them.

Clarke moans at the first touch of Lexa’s tongue against her clit.

The first taste of Clarke makes Lexa want more. She licks one long stripe and then teases her tongue around her clit before sucking lightly on her sensitive bundle of nerves. One of her fingers slips inside of her slick heat, quickly followed by a second digit when she feels just how wet her girlfriend is.

“Mhmm, fuck,” Clarke moans, tipping her head back. If Lexa keeps pumping her fingers inside of her while sucking on her clit then she’s going to have her first orgasm soon. “Lexa, please,” she whimpers.

Lexa hums lowly, turned on each time Clarke begs. She wants to hear her beg for it even more because she wants her to be dripping wet and fully on edge.

The noises Lexa makes vibrate through Clarke’s center, which is pushing her closer to her first orgasm. “Lexa, please,” she pleads, desperate. “I need to feel you inside of me.”

“You will, if you’re going to be a good girl for me,” Lexa replies, thrusting her fingers harder and deeper into Clarke. She curls them, smiling as her girlfriend moans. “Are you going to be a good girl for me, Clarke?”

Clarke’s eyes darken as she licks her lips. “Yes, commander,” she answers, smirking when Lexa gasps.

Lexa is stunned to hear Clarke call her that, which makes her wonder where she got it from. She doesn’t mind though, because if she’s being honest it turns her on. “That’s my good girl,” she says, slipping back into focus.

“It’s hot when you say that,” Clarke replies, wanting Lexa to know that so she’ll say it more. She’s glad that she saved the commander thing until now.

Lexa brings her mouth back to Clarke’s clit, licking and teasing until she feels her walls clenching around her fingers. She thinks of drawing her girlfriend’s orgasm out further, but since it’s the first time they’re making love she doesn’t want to edge her too much.

“Lexa!” Clarke moans loudly. She comes with a strangled cry. “Fuck… that felt so good,” she whispers, catching her breath.

Lexa grinds herself against Clarke’s clit, drawing another moan from her. “I can make you feel even better,” she whispers near her ear.

Clarke nips at Lexa’s shoulder. “Show me, commander,” she replies, bucking her hips up to create more friction.

Lexa lines the base of her member up with Clarke’s entrance. Her girlfriend should be more than wet enough, though she will be careful to avoid hurting her. She pushes the tip inside of Clarke and gently pushes deeper. When her member is all the way inside of her, she stills to give her a moment to adjust.

“Fuck, you’re so big,” Clarke moans, screwing her eyes shut.

“Does it hurt?”

Clarke opens her eyes to look at Lexa, who is looking at her with concern. “A little bit at first, but not anymore,” she answers earnestly. “You can move now.”

“Tell me to stop if it hurts or if you need me to go slower,” Lexa says as she picks a slow pace up. She moans at how tight Clarke feels around her member. It’s been a while for her, but she doesn’t want their first time together to only last a minute or two, so she’ll have to draw it out.

Clarke gasps as Lexa’s length pumps in and out of her. “Fuck me harder, commander,” she says, so turned on she’s close to a second orgasm. “And faster,” she adds, needing more.

Lexa slams harder into her, satisfied when she hears her cry out as her member is coated in Clarke’s juices. “Do you like that, naughty girl?” she asks, continuing her thrusts while her girlfriend moans uncontrollably.

“Fuck, yes,” Clarke answers, her chest heaving. “You’re so good at this, Lex.”

Lexa kisses Clarke’s nose. “It’s going to be a long night, pretty girl,” she whispers to prepare her girlfriend for what’s yet to come.

“I want to ride you,” Clarke blurts out. “Please,” she adds, wanting to make Lexa feel good.

Lexa gives in simply because she can’t say no to such a gorgeous girl. She lies down on her back and moans as Clarke lowers herself on top of her. “Do you want to hold my hands?” she asks, holding them up in case her girlfriend wants the support.

Clarke nods and laces her fingers together with Lexa’s. Her girlfriend fills her up so much, she can hardly take her. She starts moving slowly, picking her pace up bit by bit. The idea of being in control now turns her on and she won’t stop until Lexa screams her name.

While others are counting down to the New Year, they are losing count of their orgasms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since smut isn't my strong suit (still working on improving that) I'm always curious to hear what people think of it, so let me know your thoughts, in a polite way. :)
> 
> *hides under a rock*


	24. Chapter 24

When the clock strikes one, Lexa kisses Clarke under the mistletoe she hung up. This is by far the best New Year’s Eve she ever had because she is spending it with the girl she loves dearly who loves her just as much.

“Happy New Year, Lexa,” Clarke says, nuzzling her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder. It’s an hour later than they should be saying this, but they were kind of busy around midnight.

“Happy New Year, Clarke,” Lexa says, holding her girlfriend close. “I have a present for you.”

“Mhmm, I have a present for you as well,” Clarke whispers. She’s still enjoying the after pleasure from the amazing sex they’ve had.

“Together?” Lexa suggests.

“Together sounds perfect,” Clarke agrees. She retrieves the gift she has for Lexa and hands it over to her while her girlfriend hands her a gift.

Lexa gently rips the gift paper open. She smiles when she finds a gift card from a candle shop, which she will be putting to good use. There’s a framed sketch of Clarke and her, sitting on a bench at the park. She will put the frame in her study so she can look at it often.

Clarke opens the gift Lexa gave her, which is a big box. It’s too much and it’s clear to her that her girlfriend is spoiling her. The gift contains artsy materials, a lot of them. There are pencils, paintbrushes, an easel, empty canvases, paint, sketchbooks, charcoal and a year pass for a museum.

“Thank for you this, Clarke,” Lexa says, touched by the personal part of the gift. “You are so incredibly talented.”

“I’m happy you like it,” Clarke replies, smiling as she leans in to kiss Lexa. “By the way, you spoil me far too much.”

“Art is your passion,” Lexa whispers, willing to give Clarke so much more. “This is a minor gift.”

Clarke flattens her palm against Lexa’s chest. “Yeah,” she says, gazing lovingly into her girlfriend’s eyes, “I think you’re right.”

“How are you real?” Lexa asks quietly as tears prick through her eyes.

“I can ask you the same question,” Clarke answers, circling her arms around Lexa’s waist. “You’re so beautiful, inside and out.”

Lexa kisses Clarke’s soft lips, placing both of her hands on her hips. “How about you go back to bed and I’ll join you in a bit to sleep?” she suggests, pressing another kiss to her girlfriend’s lips.

Clarke frowns and reaches out to grab Lexa’s hands. “Why not join me now?” she asks, batting her eyelashes to try and convince her girlfriend.

“I would love to, but I want to do the dishes first,” Lexa answers, thinking of how messy it’ll be tomorrow if she leaves it.

“You thought I’d let you do the dishes all by yourself?” Clarke asks, her eyes widening as she takes a step back. She shakes her head and makes her way towards Lexa’s kitchen. “Do you prefer washing them or drying them?” she asks while grasping a towel.

Lexa wouldn’t have minded doing the dishes alone because it’s late and she knows that Clarke is tired, which is partially her fault from the sex they’ve had. “I take it you prefer drying the dishes off,” she says, smiling as she gestures at the towel her girlfriend took.

“You’re not wrong, but I’m fine with either,” Clarke replies, tossing the towel over her shoulder. “At home I’d usually dry the dishes, but whenever I had to wash them I’d wear gloves because I hate how my hands get all wrinkly in the water.”

“You and I are not so different,” Lexa says as she reaches under her sink to retrieve gloves.

“Chores demand music,” Clarke says, fishing her phone out of her pocket to play some music.

“They do,” Lexa agrees, although when she’s alone she often enjoys the silence. “Are you going to see your mother anytime soon?” she asks while she fills the sink with warm water.

“Probably not,” Clarke answers, sighing. “I know it’s the holidays, but all she does is arguing with me because she wants me to drop out of the art program. She thinks I don’t stand a chance to make it in the world as an artist.”

“It’s unfortunate that she is stuck in that mindset,” Lexa replies, whishing Clarke’s mother would be more supportive. On the other hand she does understand her motherly concern for her daughter’s future. A coin always has two sides. “However,” she adds thoughtfully, “she is your mother.”

“I know,” Clarke says, sighing. “But she’s so stubborn.”

“As are you, darling,” Lexa says, smiling as Clarke huffs. “It’s your choice in the end, but I know you regret the fact you didn’t have contact with your father for two years and I’d hate to see you suffer if your connection with your mother crumbles.”

“Ugh,” Clarke groans. “Why do you have to be so beautiful and right?”

Lexa says nothing and turns the water off before the sink can flood over. She puts the gloves on and gets started on the dishes.

“I’ll visit her during these holidays,” Clarke says, because Lexa has a point. She wouldn’t want her contact with her mother to be gone for a long period of time. If her mother would start arguing again she probably won’t stay long. Even though she told her father about her girlfriend she’s not going to tell her mother because her mother is a difficult woman who might make a scene.

“Would you like to join me tomorrow to visit my uncle?” Lexa asks out of the blue. She hadn’t planned to ask Clarke along, but her girlfriend means a lot to her and given she met Clarke’s father, stepmother and siblings; she would like to introduce her to her uncle.

“Sure, that sounds nice,” Clarke answers with a smile. “I think he’ll have many photographs of you to show me.”

Lexa gasps, having thought Clarke would have forgotten about the time she mentioned that. “I think I need to see your father again,” she says, smiling when her girlfriend wildly shakes her head.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Little Lex, it’s good to see you,” Gustus says with a broad smile. “Who might this be?”

Lexa tries to ignore Clarke’s chuckle. “Uncle Gustus, this is Clarke, my girlfriend,” she answers, nodding at him.

Clarke is amused that Lexa is being referred to as Little Lex and her mind slips in the gutter because her girlfriend definitely isn’t little. “Hello, it’s nice to meet you,” she says politely to Gustus, holding her hand out.

Gustus’ much bigger hand engulfs Clarke’s hand as he gives her a firm handshake. “Likewise, Clarke,” he replies, though his smile is gone.

Clarke glances at Lexa, wondering if something is wrong.

Lexa places an arm around Clarke and kisses her cheek, relieved to see her uncle smiling tentatively. She knows Gustus is probably worried because of how badly her ex hurt her, but Clarke isn’t anything like Costia.

“What can I get you?” Gustus asks, clapping his hands together.

“Water and a photo album with Lexa’s pictures,” Clarke answers, chuckling when Lexa nudges her.

Lexa shakes her head, not believing how bluntly Clarke said that.

“I have plenty of those,” Gustus says, pulling a drawer open. He grabs three thick photo albums and puts them on the table. “Most of these are pictures of Lexa, though my daughter is in some of them.”

Clarke takes a seat at the table and opens the first album, which starts with baby pictures of Lexa. “Aww, you were so cute,” she coos. “You look so tiny.”

“I was born premature,” Lexa explains, taking a seat next to Clarke.

“Little Lex was a fighter,” Gustus says, putting his hand on his niece’s shoulder. “She’s always been a fighter.”

“She’s one of the strongest people I know,” Clarke replies, not surprised that Lexa survived. She skims further through the photo album smiling when she finds the pictures of five year old Lexa, clad for her martial arts class. “You weren’t kidding about this.”

“She was at the top of her class,” Gustus reveals. “Anya helped her to improve, but when Lexa was eleven she outfought her.”

“Anya is still slightly sore about that,” Lexa adds. Her cousin had been a great mentor, but one day she was better, despite their age difference.

Clarke stays at the table to look through the photos when Lexa excuses herself.

Lexa steps out into her uncle’s garden. She sighs when he closes the door and joins her. “She’s nothing like Costia,” she says quietly, leaning against the wall. “Clarke is good to me. She’s kind, gentle, passionate, funny, caring, and I love her.”

“I know, Little Lex,” Gustus replies silently. “I am happy for you that you met her. She seems sweet and I like how she looks at you. How long have you been seeing her?”

“Almost two months now, but we’ve been having contact for about four months.”

“You’re different with her,” Gustus says, slipping his hands in his pockets. “I can see how you protect her with your eyes.”

“Maybe I’m going crazy, but…” Lexa smiles and shakes her head. “I think she might be the one for me. It’s early to tell, but I have this feeling inside of me where everything is falling into place as long as I have her by my side.”

“You have a strong heart,” Gustus replies with a warm smile. “I think she is worthy of you.”

“I wonder if I’m worthy of her,” Lexa says with a sad sigh. She can’t help the small bout of insecurity that never seems to leave her.

“You deserve happiness, you really do. I know Costia has hurt you a lot and there is no shame in being afraid. It’s okay to let love in. Some people are worth taking the leap for.”

“I wanted to see love as weakness so I could detach myself from all of it,” Lexa confesses, staring blankly at the decorations in her uncle’s garden. “Then Clarke came into my life and found her way into my heart. My feelings for her terrify me because I’m attached to her. I would do anything to have her smile and for her to never shed a tear out of pain.”

They fall into silence as the door opens.

“Hey,” Clarke says, stepping out into the garden. “You should come back inside,” she says to Lexa, taking her hand. “It’s cold and I don’t want you to get sick.”

“You’re right, it’s cold,” Lexa says with a small smile. She follows Clarke back inside, smiling more when her girlfriend rubs her arms to warm her up. “The fresh air felt pleasant.”

“I’d prefer it if you’d get fresh air with a coat on next time,” Clarke says, sighing as she fixes Lexa with a look of disapproval. “If you get sick I’ll have to make soup for you and my soup isn’t the greatest,” she says, sighing again. “It’s not easy to be mad at you when you’re smiling at me like that.”

“Like what?” Lexa asks innocently, placing her hands behind Clarke’s neck.

“You’re too much,” Clarke whispers, returning Lexa’s smile. “Just kiss me already.”

 


	25. Chapter 25

Clarke rushes inside the second the door opens, before her mother gets the chance to say hello. It’s very cold outside and she was already halfway when she realized she forgot her gloves and her scarf. If Lexa would know she would get one hell of a lecture.

“Clarke,” Abby says, surprised as she quickly shuts the door. “You’re here.”

“Hey, mom,” Clarke replies while hugging her briefly. “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,” she says sheepishly.

“Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you as well, honey.”

Clarke sees the warm smile on her mother’s face and hears the affection in her voice, which makes her feel guilty that she didn’t contact her for a few weeks. “How is everything going?” she asks casually, unsure where else to begin.

“Busy as always,” Abby answers, gesturing at her couch. “I’ve been having more patients, mostly due to accidents on ice.”

“Hmm yeah, it’s slippery outside,” Clarke replies, sitting down on her mother’s couch.

“About earlier…,” Abby says softly. “I have your best interest at heart, Clarke.”

“I know you do, mom,” Clarke says, sighing quietly. She’s well aware that her mother’s intentions are well placed. “But you have to understand that this is more than a dream I have. It’s my passion. I can’t picture my life without art.”

“You have wanted to become an artist ever since you could speak,” Abby says, chuckling. “Which is why I have been thinking about what I said to you and I realize I may have been a bit harsh when I practically demanded you to drop out. I’m sorry.”

“It did come across a tad harsh,” Clarke agrees. “Your support would mean so much to me.”

“I never meant to upset you, honey,” Abby replies, placing her hand on her daughter’s knee. “If you want to pursue art so badly, I will support you. However, I do have one condition.”

Clarke has a hopeful smile upon hearing that her mother will support her. “What’s the condition?” she asks cautiously.

“I don’t want you to drop any of your other classes,” Abby answers, squeezing her daughter’s knee. “Even while you pursue art, I want you to have a backup plan, as a safety net.”

“Okay,” Clarke replies, because it’s a reasonable request. If she wouldn’t immediately make it as an artist it would be wise to have something else she can do until she does. “I can stay in the art program then?”

“Yes, as long as your grades don’t suffer under it.”

“They won’t,” Clarke assures, planning to make sure she studies hard. “My grades have always been good and I know I’m putting a lot on my fork right now, but I can manage it.”

“I will get some milk and cookies,” Abby says as she gets up from her couch. “I’ll be right back.”

Clarke is relieved that Lexa convinced her to come see her mother. It’s nice to no longer have to argue about art. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so quick to say she’d stay with her father, although she’s likely going to spend a big chunk of her summer at his place anyway.

A lot has changed over the last four months and it’s been intense. Four months ago she had a boyfriend who she thought was so sweet, but who turned out to be a cheater and who is currently in prison for the vending machine stunt. Back then she didn’t have contact with her father and art seemed like a lost dream. Now she has an amazing girlfriend, she’s seeing her father again and she’s pursuing her passion to become an artist.

Even though things seem to go well with her mother, she’s not going to mention Lexa yet. Her mother isn’t as easy going as her father and she doesn’t want to give her any fuel for an argument. She will tell her eventually when the time feels right to do so.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa can hear some students murmuring on her left and right as she walks through the halls. She knows they’re talking about the court case and about how Finn is in prison now. Some students sound like they disagree while others sound relieved that measurements were taken.

She hopes that it’s a lesson for all of them to think before doing something, because they should all be wary of the consequences of their actions. She’s not sorry that she had pressed charges, which was her right. Eventually the gossip will lessen and the students will start talking about the next thing that catches their attention.

Anya is already saving Lexa a seat in the cafeteria. “I take it you heard,” she says, looking up at her cousin. “They are calling you tough as nails.”

Lexa nods and sits down next to her cousin. “They are free to say what they want, as long as they are respectful in my presence,” she replies, not minding it when people talk behind her back.

“I hope no more incidents will take place,” Anya says, sighing. “It’s your first year here at Polis and I had hoped it would have been smooth sailing.”

“Even if the water gets rough, I won’t quit,” Lexa replies, pouring herself a cup of coffee from her thermos. “You know me, Anya.”

“Yes, you’ve always been a fighter,” Anya agrees. “It’s one of the many admirable qualities you possess.”

“Ontari’s birthday is coming up this week,” Lexa says, switching the topic. Clarke’s birthday will be coming up as well, though hers is further away than her cousin’s. “Perhaps we can buy her something together,” she suggests.

“There’s a motorcycle she’s always wanted to have, but that’s a really expensive gift,” Anya says with a loud sigh. “Speaking of Ontari, I think something went wrong during the holidays.”

Lexa is immediately alert and pulls her attention away from her coffee. “What happened?” she asks, feeling concerned.

“I’m not sure, but she had a fight with Roan,” Anya answers, frowning. “Echo called me two days ago to tell me they wouldn’t stop shouting at each other. I called Roan, but he didn’t tell me what was wrong. He doesn’t want Ontari in his house anymore, not for any holidays.”

Lexa knows that it is school again now, which means Ontari will be staying in her dorm again with her roommate. “I will call Roan later to see if he wants to talk about it,” she says, making a mental note of it.

“I wouldn’t waste my breath if I was you. Roan hasn’t exactly been responsive anymore. He probably needs some time to cool down from his anger.”

Lexa has no idea what Ontari and Roan could have possibly have had such a heated fight about. She knows they’re both quick to anger, but they always got along fine, until now. “I’ll speak with Ontari,” she says, even though months ago when she tried that it didn’t pan out well.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Cheer up, Ri,” Raven says, nudging her friend while she smiles. “Your birthday is coming up soon and you look like it’s a funeral.”

“Whatever,” Ontari mumbles whilst rolling her eyes.

“Is everything okay?” Clarke asks Ontari. “You seem a little off.”

“Everything is peachy.”

“Hmm, no,” Raven says, shaking her head. “Something is wrong.”

“Did something happen during the holidays?” Octavia asks Ontari.

“I don’t want to talk about any of this stuff,” Ontari answers, groaning. “I have stuff to do so I’m going to my room.”

“Wait,” Clarke says, catching Ontari’s wrist. “I thought we were going to plan something for our birthday.”

“Later,” Ontari mutters as she pulls herself free.

Clarke sighs as Ontari storms out of her room, having no clue what’s wrong. As blunt as her friend is, she’s not really one to open up about things.

“I’ll see you both later,” Raven says, excusing herself. “I need to study and I want to make sure Ri is okay.”

“I’ll see you later, babe,” Octavia replies. She presses a quick kiss to Raven’s lips.

Clarke packs some of her things for her art class. It’s a late class, but it’s all worth it. She groans loudly when she realizes something. There’s only one pill left in her box on her nightstand. She was supposed to go buy more, but the holidays had been so busy that it slipped her mind.

“What’s the matter?” Octavia asks, looking confused.

“Are you going outside today, like soon?” Clarke asks, given she has her art class while Octavia is free.

“I might,” Octavia answers, frowning. “Why do you ask?”

“I ran out of my pill and I forgot to get a new box,” Clarke explains, frustrated. She has always picked up a new box in time like clockwork and now really isn’t the time to get sloppy with that. “Can you go buy me a new box at the pharmacy? I’d do it myself, but I have art class in twenty minutes and I can’t skip it. By the time my class is done the pharmacy will be closed.”

“Does it matter if you have your pill or not?” Octavia asks, raising an eyebrow. She plops down on her bed and laughs casually. “I mean, it’s not like you’re dating a guy. You’re seeing a chick, so I don’t see why you’d even need that pill. It’s fabricated garbage anyway.”

“She’s a woman, not a chick,” Clarke corrects, sighing whilst shaking her head. “I’ve been taking the pill for several years. It’s a routine I don’t want to break.”

Octavia holds her hand up to respond to a text she just received. “Oomph, I gotta run,” she says, grinning as she pockets her phone.

“Where are you going, O?” Clarke asks, dropping her hands in disbelief. She had thought her best friend wouldn’t mind picking up a box for her at the pharmacy. It’s not like she’s going to tell Octavia why it’s so important because Lexa’s secret isn’t hers to share.

“Rae texted me,” Octavia answers with a happy smile on her face. “Ri wants to be alone, so she asked me to go study in the library together.”

“But…,” Clarke says, stunned as Octavia is already halfway out the door. “What about my pill? Can’t you pick it up for me real quick?”

“Nothing bad is going to happen if you miss a few days or something,” Octavia answers, shrugging. “The perk of being with a woman is that you don’t have to worry about stuff like that,” she says with a wink.

Clarke mutters and flings her backpack over her shoulder while Octavia leaves. It would be kind of silly if she’d skip art class purely to go to the pharmacy. She made a commitment to pursue art and skipping a class wouldn’t exactly show a good image for her. Her best friend is probably right that nothing bad is going to happen. It’s not like years of taking the pill is suddenly going to leave her system all at once.

She’s on her way to her art class when her phone buzzes with a text. It’s not a good time for her right now to text or anything because she only has five minutes left to make an appearance and she doesn’t want to be late.

 

 **Ontari:** can we talk? Raven is busy being gross with Octavia

 **Clarke:** I have art class in five minutes. It’s not a good time

 **Ontari:** that’s cool

 **Ontari:** dw, we’ll talk another time or whatever

 **Clarke:** meet me at Grounders in two hours?

 **Ontari:** I’ll be there

 


	26. Chapter 26

Clarke was a little bit surprised when her art teacher, Mister Thompson, didn’t show up. Instead there appears to be a new art teacher. Miss Cole, a woman who can’t be taller than she is if it all. She has a petite waist, a tanned skin, freckles and dark curly hair.

“Miss Cole, can you have a look please?” Clarke asks politely, gesturing at her painting.

Miss Cole looks at Clarke’s painting, then at the bowl of fruit the students have been painting and then back at her painting. “Any particular reason why you painted the bonsai tree?” she asks with a hint of curiosity.

“Well, I noticed everyone else is painting the fruit,” Clarke answers, hesitantly. She pauses, but when Miss Cole nods she’s encouraged to go on. “You never specified that we had to paint the fruit. Everyone just kind of assumed we would have to paint the fruit, but I wanted to capture that bonsai tree on my canvas. Artists don’t always color within the lines. They dare to color outside the lines, to be creative. Hence I painted the tree.”

“Your explanation is interesting,” Miss Cole replies, studying Clarke’s painting. “I want to show you something,” she says, beckoning Clarke to follow her.

Clarke puts her paintbrush down and follows Miss Cole to the front of the room. She knows her art teacher has been painting something as well and she’s surprised when she sees Miss Cole also painted the bonsai tree.

“I think you will have a bright future ahead of you,” Miss Cole says with a friendly smile.

Clarke traces Miss Cole’s painting, noticing how the color shades aren’t identical to the ones she used. “C.C,” she reads at the bottom right of the painting.

“Costia Cole,” Miss Cole clarifies. “Artists put their signature on their work.”

Clarke freezes and wonders if this is Lexa’s ex. Her girlfriend hasn’t said much about Costia, so she’s not sure if this woman is in fact Lexa’s ex or not. She suddenly feels like she wants to throw up because what she does know is that Costia said awful things to her girlfriend.

“You look a little pale,” Miss Cole says, putting a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”

“Um yeah, I’m fine,” Clarke answers, taking a step back. “Are you replacing Mister Thompson permanently?”

“Mister Thompson is ill,” Miss Cole answers. “I will be leading the art program until he returns.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa opens a bottle of wine to pour a glass for Ontari, although she would have preferred to give her water or soda. “It is nice of you to join me for dinner,” she says as she pours the wine.

“Save the pleasantries,” Ontari grumbles. “You and I both know that dinner isn’t why you asked me to come over, so cut the act and get to the point.”

Lexa sighs at the obvious anger in Ontari’s tone, which isn’t very promising. She doesn’t want to end up upsetting her cousin. “You’re right, dinner isn’t the reason,” she admits. “Although I do appreciate having you here,” she adds.

“Hopeless,” Ontari mutters. She grasps the glass and empties it in one go. “I’ll need more.”

“No, you had a glass,” Lexa replies, not planning to keep giving Ontari a drink. “What happened with Roan?”

“He went off his rocker,” Ontari answers, scoffing. “I can’t really blame him because I knew he wouldn’t like it.”

“He wouldn’t like what?” Lexa asks calmly as she takes her seat. She has no idea why Roan and Ontari shouted at each other, but perhaps if her younger cousin talks to her she might be able to help.

“I’m surprised he hasn’t told you or Anya,” Ontari says, peering into her empty glass. She sighs and snatches Lexa’s glass away to drink from it.

Lexa should have known Ontari would rudely take her glass when she denied her a refill. “He hasn’t,” she says, deciding not to comment on her glass having been taken. “I am asking you what happened.”

“I did something stupid,” Ontari says with a loud sigh. “Nothing new,” she says, putting the glass down. “It’s all fucked up.”

Lexa swats Ontari’s hand away when she reaches for the bottle of wine. Two glasses is one thing, but she’s not going to let her empty the whole bottle. There’s always a line she has to draw. “Drinking is not going to help you,” she says as she gets up to put the bottle away.

“I can’t stay long. Besides, I don’t want you to get crossed with me as well,” Ontari says, shrugging as she aimlessly moves her fork around. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Why would I be angry with you?” Lexa asks, placing a hand on top of Ontari’s. “Whatever it is, you can talk to me. You’re my family. I care about you and I want to help, but I can’t do that if you keep pushing me away.”

Ontari shakes her head as tears fall. “I’m such an idiot,” she mumbles, dropping her fork. “I should have never fallen in love.”

“Love happens, it’s a feeling we can’t stop,” Lexa replies, stroking her thumb over Ontari’s knuckles. It’s a start that her cousin is opening up a bit and that she hasn’t been pushed away yet. “Who did you fall in love with?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Ontari asks, slipping into the booth.

Clarke sighs and downs her second beer, putting the empty bottle down next to her first bottle. “Don’t even ask,” she answers, grasping the third bottle. “I ordered a bunch of drinks. Feel free to grab one.”

“Life can be shit, huh?” Ontari replies, grabbing a beer. “I get that.”

“Hmm,” Clarke hums, although she doesn’t know yet if her art teacher is Lexa’s ex. If that woman is who she thinks she might be then there’s no way she can stay calm during her art classes, knowing what she knows. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah, I do,” Ontari answers, taking a gulp from her beer. “This is kind of embarrassing, but I’m in love.”

“Being in love isn’t something to be ashamed of,” Clarke says, offering Ontari a smile.

“Shut up,” Ontari mumbles, blushing badly. “Love is gross.”

“Beautifully gross,” Clarke says, smirking while Ontari groans.

“Remember how I said I live with my brother and his girlfriend during the summer and stuff?”

“I remember,” Clarke answers, nodding. “Roan and Echo,” she recalls.

“During the summer there was some tension, but it took an interesting turn,” Ontari says, awkwardly scratching the back of her neck.

“Oh no…,” Clarke replies, slowly piecing it together.

“Oh yes,” Ontari says, taking another gulp from her beer. “Echo is the one I’m in love with, which is fucked up because she’s my brother’s girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry, that must be rough,” Clarke says sympathetically. “You can’t help how you feel though.”

“I knew I had to keep my distance from her, for my brother’s sake,” Ontari continues. She sucks her lips into her mouth and shakes her head. “The tension between us kept building and I tried to ignore the fact that she was cheating on my brother.”

“Oh god,” Clarke whispers, shocked. “So you and Echo…?”

“We kissed and things got heated,” Ontari answers, nodding. “Roan walked in on us, shit hit the fan, you get the picture,” she says, moving her hand around in vague gestures. “It’s fucked up because they’d been talking about wanting a child and this holiday was going to be my last one living there considering they need the space.”

“All of that sounds really messy,” Clarke says, cringing lightly at the thought of it. “Your actions weren’t exactly the best, but Echo should also have known better.”

“Yeah, we both shouldn’t have let it get that far,” Ontari replies, sighing. “I told her she obviously can’t have us both, but it looks like she’s staying with Roan. They have a lot to talk about and I don’t know if they can fix things. They were building their future together. My brother is hurt and I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me.”

“Maybe you should sit down with Echo and Roan sometime,” Clarke suggests. “You obviously have some stuff to talk about.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa kisses Clarke’s neck while she has her pushed against the door of her bedroom. She hadn’t expected her girlfriend to drop by, though she can’t say she minds.

“Mhmm, Lexa,” Clarke moans. She unbuttons her girlfriend’s blouse and pushes the fabric down her arms, leaving her tie on so she can tug at it.

Lexa’s fingers fumble with the button of Clarke’s pants. Once it’s finally undone, she pushes her pants down.

Clarke pulls at the tie to kiss Lexa while she blindly steps out of her pants. With her free hand she reaches around her back, finding the door handle. She opens the door and together they stumble into the bedroom.

Lexa grasps Clarke’s shirt and lifts it over her head. She briefly glances down to admire the lingerie set her girlfriend is wearing. “Perfect,” she says, putting her hands on Clarke’s hips.

“These need to come off,” Clarke says, tugging lightly at Lexa’s pants.

“As you wish,” Lexa replies, unbuttoning her pants.

Clarke hungrily licks her lips while Lexa takes her pants off. “That’s much better,” she says approvingly. “Come here, commander,” she husks as she crawls on top of the bed.

Lexa climbs on her bed and topples on top of Clarke when her girlfriend pulls at her tie. “I see you like my tie,” she says, smiling mischievously. “It can serve more than one purpose.”

“Mhmm, sounds kinky,” Clarke whispers. She weaves her hands through Lexa’s hair and kisses her deeply. “Are you going to tie me up?”

“I could,” Lexa answers, considering it. “Perhaps not tonight though,” she adds, smiling when Clarke pouts. Once it’s her girlfriend’s birthday she’ll give her anything she wants. “Are you planning to sleep over?”

“I’d like to if you don’t mind,” Clarke answers, toying with Lexa’s hair.

“You’re always welcome,” Lexa says sincerely.

“I want to make you feel good tonight,” Clarke whispers as she pushes Lexa onto her back. “Can I?” she asks, pausing at her girlfriend’s underwear to gaze into her eyes.

Lexa nods and then Clarke is taking her underwear off. She gasps quietly when her girlfriend’s tongue swirls around the base of her member.

Clarke holds Lexa’s gaze, wanting to see the expression on her face. She licks again before taking the tip into her mouth, sucking lightly on it, teasingly.

“Clarke,” Lexa moans, once again surprised by the experience her girlfriend seems to have.

Clarke pumps Lexa’s member in her hand, starting at a slow pace while she sucks and licks. When her girlfriend moans a bit louder, she picks her pace up.

“Fuck, Clarke,” Lexa whimpers. Her hands shoot out to grab fistfuls of her girlfriend’s hair. She pulls Clarke up and flips her onto her back. “You’re a naughty girl.”

“Yes, commander,” Clarke says. She moans when Lexa slips a hand between her legs, knowing how wet she is.

Lexa pushes her member inside of Clarke without a warning, enjoying the way her girlfriend moans obscenely loud.

“I was supposed to make you feel good,” Clarke says with an adorable pout.

“You do,” Lexa replies reassuringly. “You always make me feel good, Clarke.”

“Hmm, give me those smooth lips from that smooth mouth of yours,” Clarke says, tugging at Lexa’s tie. She tugs harder, crashing their lips together in a rough passionate kiss.

Lexa responds immediately, opening her mouth for Clarke’s eager tongue while she thrusts deeply inside of her. She doesn’t break their kiss, letting her girlfriend moan and gasp into her mouth as she draws multiple orgasms from her.

 


	27. Chapter 27

Lexa covers Clarke and herself with the sheet, their legs entangled as they’re facing each other. She brushes her hand through her girlfriend’s hair, who is smiling beautifully at her. “What’s on your mind, my love?” she asks, unable to contain her curiosity.

“Mhmm, you,” Clarke mumbles.

“I bet,” Lexa whispers, returning Clarke’s smile with one of her own. “What else is on your mind?”

Clarke sighs and thinks back of her art class and how she hasn’t told Lexa yet. She was going to when she arrived at her house, but they got caught up kissing and one thing led to another.

Lexa frowns now that Clarke’s smile is gone. “What’s wrong?” she asks, running her hand up and down her girlfriend’s arm.

“My art teacher is sick and there’s a replacement,” Clarke answers, nervously nibbling on her bottom lip. “Does Costia Cole ring any bells for you?” she asks, and the question hardly left her when she already gets her answer.

Lexa’s hand stills as she casts her eyes down. That name does ring a bell for her and she had no idea that her ex was hired for such a position. Costia did have an interest in art, though nowhere near as passionate as Clarke’s interest in it. Her ex was more of a hobbyist really.

“She’s your ex isn’t she?” Clarke asks, though she doesn’t need to. “I hope she’ll be gone soon. I hate how she hurt you.”

“The past is gone now,” Lexa says quietly. “Costia does not matter. She has her life and I have mine.”

“It was stupid of her to let you go,” Clarke replies, shuffling closer towards Lexa. “That’s a mistake I’m not going to make,” she whispers, wrapping her arms tightly around her girlfriend. “You’re beautiful and amazing, and I’m not going to let you go.”

“You do seem to cling to me like a koala,” Lexa whispers, endeared. She puts her arms around Clarke, holding her close. “You’re a sweet girl.”

“Your girl,” Clarke corrects, pressing a lingering kiss to Lexa’s jaw.

“Yes, mine,” Lexa confirms. “Mine,” she repeats, kissing Clarke’s nose.

“Can I claw your ex’s eyes out for the terrible things she said to you?”

“There’s no need for violence,” Lexa answers, never having been one to condone such a thing. “I’m happy with you. That’s all that counts.”

“Okay, but I might glare at her until she gets uncomfortable,” Clarke whispers, making no promises that she’ll fully behave.

“Oh yes, your glares are very scary,” Lexa whispers, smiling amusingly.

“Hey, I can glare if I want to,” Clarke replies, poking Lexa’s ribs. “I can be scary, especially when I’m angry.”

“You look adorable when you try to look scary,” Lexa says, disagreeing. “On Halloween you were very cute and sexy.”

“That’s only because you haven’t seen me angry, which is technically your fault because I can’t get angry at you, you’re just too perfect.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Lexa whispers half-heartedly. “Should I make sure you get angry with me?”

“If that happens I’d probably pin you down and fuck your brains out,” Clarke answers bluntly.

Lexa gasps at that. “Angry make-up sex?” she asks, watching Clarke nod. “That sounds appealing.”

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, trialing her fingertips up Lexa’s thigh. “I’m not really all that tired yet…”

“We both have to be up early,” Lexa reminds Clarke. “I wake up at five for my jog and I teach my first class at eight,” she says while she casts a glance at her clock. “It’s almost midnight, darling.”

Clarke sighs because she has to get up at five as well. She wants to be able to join Lexa for a quick breakfast and then she has to go to her room to grab her backpack to make it to her first class at seven. “Okay,” she whispers, dropping her hand. “Goodnight, Lex.”

Lexa places Clarke’s head on her chest so she can sleep better. “Goodnight, my precious girl,” she whispers.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Ontari says as she stares at the three cakes.

“I’m with Ri on this one,” Octavia says.

“It’s a bummer your birthday isn’t this month,” Raven says to Octavia. “It’s nice that the three of us can celebrate together though,” she says to Ontari and Clarke.

Clarke has to admit that it is kind of weird to sit here with three cakes. Ontari’s twentieth birthday already passed about a week ago, Raven’s birthday is today as they’re celebrating while hers isn’t for another week or so.

“Why did we even buy three cakes?” Ontari asks, shaking her head. “There’s no way the four of us can devour three cakes.”

“Okay,” Raven replies. “Now you have a point.”

“If there’s any left I could always take it to my siblings,” Clarke suggests. “I’d rather not have a stomach ache before the party even begins.”

“Jas is getting us some moonshine,” Octavia reveals.

“I already heard from Monty,” Ontari says. “They’re also going to bring some weed.”

Clarke isn’t interested in any kind of drugs, only in the alcohol that will be served. “Doesn’t our party begin in like a few hours?” she asks, frowning as she checks her watch.

“It does,” Raven answers, cutting a slice from her cake. “Chocolate cake anyone?”

“Mhmm, I’ll have a slice of that,” Octavia answers.

“You should kiss the birthday girl,” Ontari says to Octavia, nodding her head towards Raven.

“With pleasure,” Octavia replies, grasping Raven’s shirt. She pulls her girlfriend close, bringing their lips together.

“We should hurry up,” Clarke says. “It would be rude if we’d be late to our own party.”

“It’s our party,” Ontari replies, shrugging. “We can do whatever the hell we want.”

“You need to wind down, Clarke,” Raven says. “You’re all tense and stressed.”

“I blame my professors,” Clarke grumbles. “Suddenly I have to study a ton and of course I can’t let my grades drop, so I’ve been cooked up in my room a lot.”

“True, my cousin won’t even agree to spend time with her,” Ontari says.

“She wants me to put my education first,” Clarke says, sighing. “As always, she isn’t wrong, but I miss spending time with her.”

“It’s only been a few days,” Octavia points out.

“A few too many,” Clarke mutters under her breath.

“So thirsty,” Ontari teases.

“How are things going for you, Ri?” Clarke asks, knowing that by now Ontari already told Raven and Octavia about the whole thing with Echo.

“Not that great,” Ontari answers, sighing loudly. “Echo texted and called me a couple of times, but she said she’s set on having a kid, which she can have with my brother. So I was like okay she’s obviously choosing him, whatever, but then she said she feels something for me and she’s not sure if she loves Roan enough to stay with him.”

“You really got yourself tangled in that stuff,” Raven comments.

“I’ve never considered kids,” Ontari says. “Hell, I don’t even share a place with Echo. She wouldn’t mind waiting a few extra years, but it’s not something I can assure. At this point I don’t think my brother is ever going to talk to me again.”

Clarke hopes that within time everything will work out for Ontari, because she wants her friends to be happy and it sucks to see Ontari torn. She looks at the blown out candles on her cake and she knows the whole make a wish thing isn’t real, though she still hopes hers comes true. Wishing for a future as an artist wouldn’t have been bad, but instead she wished for a future with Lexa.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is about to leave the cafeteria when Costia walks in.

“Hello,” Costia says coolly. She walks over to the coffee machine and grabs a cup. “Coffee?” she asks over her shoulder.

“No, I already drank plenty,” Lexa answers stoically. “I was about to leave, actually,” she says, feeling perfectly calm and composed. Seeing Costia again in person after all those months doesn’t make her feel anything.

Costia sighs and turns around, cup of coffee in her hand. “I’m sorry about the way things went,” she says with a sad look on her face. “I wish we could have stayed friends.”

“You know why we can’t be friends,” Lexa replies, getting up from the table. “I do not want your apology.”

“Then what is it that you want, Lex?” Costia asks, sounding almost desperate. “Tell me how I can fix this because you’re my friend.”

“What is done cannot be undone,” Lexa answers calmly. “All I want is for you to stay out of my life. I don’t want to be your friend. I want to be happy, which I am, without you around.”

“Six months ago I meant the world to you,” Costia says, shaking her head as her eyes become watery. “I know I said some things I probably shouldn’t have said, but I really thought that within time, we would be able to remain as friends.”

“I do not live in the past and neither should you,” Lexa replies, as a tip. “Our connection shattered and cannot be restored. If you desire to be an art teacher and stick around at Polis, so be it. However, I do not wish to interact further with you.”

“Okay,” Costia says, putting her cup of coffee down. “You win, Lex.”

“This is neither a game nor a competition,” Lexa says as she walks towards the door. “I am happy now, Costia. If there is even a small part of you that cares about me at all then you will let me go. Any attempts to have me as your friend will be futile.”

“I did love you,” Costia blurts out, which has Lexa pausing at the door. “Once,” she says, “four years ago when our friendship turned into more. I loved you then, but I couldn’t handle being more than friends.”

“Good luck with everything,” Lexa says coolly, opening the door. “May you be happy and healthy. Goodbye, Costia.”

“Lexa, please wait,” Costia replies, hasting towards the door. “Whatever her name is, I’m happy you have someone who is making you happy. I hope she treats you better than I did,” she says with a sad sigh and a remorseful smile. “I’ll be leaving Polis by the end of this month. You won’t see or hear from me anymore.”

Lexa nods solemnly and when she walks away, she feels a weight leaving her chest. She is happy with Clarke, the girl she loves. Being able to look Costia in the eyes and not feel anything at all, not even hate or pain, made her feel stronger. She’s no longer tied to the ghosts from her past because she has been healing. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, watch out,” Clarke says when a student bumps into her. She hardly gets a second to recover before another student bumps into her, this time causing her drink to spill over her shirt. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” she groans.

“Yikes, you too huh,” Raven says, gesturing at her wet shirt. “I was just about to go grab a new shirt with Ri, you can join us if you want.”

Clarke follows Raven through the crowd towards the stairs where Ontari is waiting. Her shirt is sticking to her and she can’t wait to get a clean shirt on. “I think half of the students are already drunk from Jas’ moonshine,” she says as she hurries up the stairs with her friends. “Where’s O?”

“She went outside to get some fresh air,” Raven answers. “I’m just going to get a new shirt fast.”

Clarke rubs her temples, feeling the beginning of a headache starting to form. “I may have drank a bit too much,” she says as she enters the room Raven and Ontari share.

“Would you ever consider swapping rooms?” Raven asks Clarke.

“Swapping rooms?” Clarke asks, frowning. “Why would I… oh. Oh, I see. You want to share with Octavia.”

“Yes, I’d like to be roommates with O,” Raven confirms. “Ri’s my best friend, but O is my girlfriend and it would be nice. Ri would rather not swap rooms because she has her posters in this one, so I was wondering if you want to swap with me.”

Clarke would miss having Octavia as her roommate, but she understands their wish to share a room. “Sure no problem,” she replies, taking her shirt off to put a clean one on. “I’ll swap my things tomorrow,” she says, not minding to share a room with Ontari.

“Here,” Ontari says, tossing Clarke a black shirt which has a tribal sign on it. “You can borrow this one.”

“Thanks, Ri,” Clarke replies as she puts the shirt on. “I think I’ll steer clear from drinks for the rest of the evening, unless it’s water.”

“You have a cute bra,” Ontari says to Clarke, complimenting her blue bra which has tiny ribbons attached to it. “I’m more into sport bras though.”

“Same,” Raven agrees with Ontari. “I practically swear by sport bras, but sometimes I select a cute one to surprise O.”

“On my girlfriend I very much like her sport bras, which suits her abs perfectly,” Clarke says, smiling as she thinks about Lexa. “For myself I like red and blue bras, cute ones and sexy ones, which she likes too. She likes lace the most.”

“Gross, that’s my cousin you’re talking about,” Ontari complains. “I don’t need to hear this stuff.”

 


	28. Chapter 28

Clarke is rudely awoken by Ontari, who yanked her sheets away from her. She had been so warm and cozy, and now she’s kind of cold. “Ugh, Ri,” she mumbles sleepily. When she swapped rooms she didn’t think her friend would be such a peasant.

“Rise and shine,” Ontari says, smirking as she grasps Clarke’s wrist to pull her up.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Clarke grumbles, groggily from being sleep-ridden. “Let me sleep dammit,” she says, sighing as she tries to pull herself free.

“Nope, you’re going to get up,” Ontari replies unrelenting.

“Why do you have to be such a devil?” Clarke asks as she moves to sit on the edge of her bed. She was so relieved to have an extra-long weekend now that everyone has this Friday off, plus it’s her birthday tomorrow. Her plan was to sleep in today and then spend some time with her friends, and to split her weekend between her father and Lexa.

Ontari shrugs and pulls the curtains open to let the light in.

Clarke groans and glances at the clock to check what time it is. “What the hell?” she says when she sees it’s barely five in the morning. “Are you nuts? You’re not even a morning person.”

“Put some clothes on,” Ontari instructs while she throws a shirt at Clarke.

Clarke mutters and shakes her head while Ontari turns around to give her some privacy. She takes her pajama off and slowly slips into a shirt and some jeans. Her limbs are complaining because she’s tired. “I’m dressed, are you happy now?” she asks with a frustrating tone in her voice.

Ontari grins and then she’s pinning Clarke down with a hold she can’t escape.

“Ri!” Clarke shouts, wondering what the hell has gotten into her friend. She tries to move, but it’s not working and then she’s being blindfolded. Once the blindfold is in place, she’s being yanked up. “Where are you taking me?” she asks when she feels Ontari pulling her along.

There’s some rustling and then Ontari is pulling Clarke along with her.

Clarke scowls when she’s obligated to follow Ontari. At some point cool air hits her, which means they’re outside. The cement is hard on her bare feet. She has no idea what has gotten into her friend, who is acting like she’s kidnapping her.

“Package delivered,” Ontari says and Clarke can hear the smirk in her voice.

“Ontari… she is not even wearing shoes.”

“Lexa?” Clarke asks, recognizing her voice. The blindfold is removed and she has to blink her eyes a few times to adjust while her girlfriend slowly swims into her view. “What is this?” she asks, noticing that she’s standing in front of Lexa’s car.

“Here,” Ontari says to Lexa, handing a bag over to her. “I kind of packed whatever.”

“I told you to wake her up gently,” Lexa says, sensing that her cousin didn’t follow her instructions entirely. “You could have let her put some shoes on.”

“Yeah well, next time you can wake her yourself,” Ontari replies, huffing. “This is the last time I’m getting up at five in the morning.”

Lexa shakes her head as Ontari walks away. “My apologies, Clarke,” she says softly, caressing her cheek.

“It is fine,” Clarke replies, happy to see her girlfriend. “What’s the meaning of all of this?” she asks, gesturing around. It’s slowly dawning on her that the bag Ontari handed Lexa is her bag, probably with some of her clothes in it.

Lexa smiles and opens the passenger’s door of her car. “Get in, please,” she says sweetly.

Clarke obliges, though she still expects an explanation. She clicks her seatbelt into place and watches Lexa get into the car as well.

“I’m taking you somewhere for the whole weekend,” Lexa reveals as she starts her car. It’s a getaway which she planned for Clarke’s birthday. “Your father knows, I already spoke with him,” she says, so her girlfriend doesn’t have to worry about dividing her time.

“That’s so sweet,” Clarke replies, smiling. “I like this surprise, minus the Ontari kidnapping me part,” she says, chuckling.

Lexa could have collected Clarke herself, although walking around where the students sleep would have been a bit strange and inappropriate. She stops her car at a red light and turns to kiss her girlfriend.

Clarke takes Lexa’s bottom lip between her lips, enjoying this sweet kiss. Their kiss doesn’t last long when a car behind them honks because apparently the light is green again. She whines when Lexa pulls away, missing the touch of her lips.

“We will have all weekend, my love,” Lexa whispers reassuringly.

Clarke toys with Lexa’s radio until she finds a channel she likes. She wonders how long the drive is going to be when she sees they’re on a highway.

Lexa smiles when Clarke slowly but surely falls asleep. She’s fully awake and energetic, having gone for a jog before she picked her girlfriend up. She turns the volume of the music down so it doesn’t disturb Clarke. Once she arrives in two hours, she will consider waking her up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m awake!” Clarke blurts out, opening her eyes when she hears a car door being opened.

“I can see that,” Lexa replies, bending down to unfasten Clarke’s seatbelt. “We’re here, my sweet girl.”

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, smiling at Lexa. She gets out of the car and looks around at their surroundings. They appear to be near a lake and there’s a cabin. “It’s gorgeous out here,” she whispers, amazed by the sight. “I wish I’d have my sketchbook.”

“I brought one for you,” Lexa says, resting her hand at the small of Clarke’s back. “I knew you would want to draw.”

Clarke lights up with a smile. “You’re the best!” she shouts happily, flinging her arms around Lexa. She peppers her cheeks with kisses and presses a lingering kiss to her lips.

“I’m happy you’re happy,” Lexa whispers, hugging Clarke tighter while she strokes her back.

Clarke has a feeling that this is going to be a very good weekend. She loves that she will get to spend three days by this lake with Lexa. The weather isn’t all that hot, but it certainly isn’t cold either.

“We should eat some breakfast,” Lexa says, taking Clarke’s hand in hers so they can enter the cabin together. She already had a small bite to eat earlier today, though not too much because she wanted to wait to eat with her girlfriend.

It’s only now that Clarke notices that Lexa got them breakfast. “You stopped somewhere on the road?” she asks, confused that she didn’t wake up for that.

“I did,” Lexa answers, opening the door of the cabin to let Clarke in. “You were sleeping soundly, which is why I didn’t wake you up.”

Clarke walks into the cabin, spotting a fireplace in the living area. There’s a large soft looking carpet and a couch that’s big enough to fit four people. There’s a kitchen area to their right, with a table that isn’t that big, though big enough for the both of them.

Lexa puts their breakfast down on the table and starts making some hot chocolate, knowing that Clarke prefers it over coffee.

Clarke zips her bag open to see what Ontari packed for her. “Shirts, shorts, lingerie, bikinis,” she mumbles, nodding in approval. Her toilet bag appears to be in it as well, so that’s good. “I’ll go to the lake after breakfast,” she says, a bit louder so Lexa can hear her.

“There is a sketchbook and some pencils for you in my bag,” Lexa replies, pointing at it.

Clarke sits down at the table to join Lexa for breakfast. By now it’s hardly eight in the morning, but she’s not that sleepy anymore. “I saw Costia leaving campus the other day,” she says as she puts a croissant on her plate. “I take it she won’t be back.”

“You’re right, she won’t be back,” Lexa confirms. “The chapter with her is closed for me. That last confrontation was enough and I think that deep down I needed it. I needed to see her that one last time and speak briefly with her to feel for myself that the past no longer harms me. It’s liberating.”

Clarke nods, partially understanding that feeling, even though she never had such a serious long lasting relationship. She’s happy to see how Lexa has been healing and has been moving on, and that she can be a part of that process.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa walks towards the lake, wearing a bikini top and shorts. She can see Clarke is concentrated on sketching the view, which doesn’t last long when she walks by. “I can feel you staring at me,” she says, sensing her girlfriend’s eyes on her back.

“I like what I see,” Clarke replies, smiling as she puts her sketchbook down. “You have pretty legs and a nice ass.”

Lexa sits down on the dock, swinging her feet into the water. It’s cold, but bearable and she might swim for a bit later during the day. She smiles when Clarke joins her. “How far did you get with your drawing?” she asks, turning her face to look at her girlfriend.

“It’s almost done,” Clarke answers, only needing to add a few more details to it. “There’s a view I enjoy much more,” she whispers, pecking Lexa’s lips.

Lexa leans in to kiss Clarke back more firmly. “Do you now?” she asks, seeing the mischief twinkling in her girlfriend’s eyes.

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, putting her finger under Lexa’s chin. “You truly are art,” she whispers, flitting her eyes down her girlfriend’s beautiful body. “I want to ask you something.”

Lexa wonders why Clarke’s tone suddenly grew so serious. “Ask away,” she replies, lifting her legs out of the water.

“Okay,” Clarke says, taking a deep breath. She’s not sure how Lexa is going to react. “Would you mind if I sketch you?”

“I don’t mi-”

“Naked.”

Lexa’s jaw is slightly ajar, not having expected Clarke’s wish to draw her like that. She clears her throat while her girlfriend is blushing. “You want to sketch me while I’m naked?” she asks, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.

“Yes, I really do,” Clarke breathes out. She ghosts her fingertips up Lexa’s arms while she pictures her being naked. “You are so beautiful and I want to capture every inch of your body, no pun intended,” she explains with a smile. “Only if you’re comfortable with it, of course,” she adds.

Lexa swallows thickly at Clarke’s refreshing request. She doesn’t mind her girlfriend seeing her naked because she’s not ashamed of her body. Over the months she’s known the girl she knows her eyes have already been sketched and it’s no surprise Clarke wishes to sketch more of her, but she had no idea she would want to sketch that much.

“I can sketch you with your clothes on if that’s easier for you,” Clarke says, cupping Lexa’s cheeks.

Lexa puts her hands on top of Clarke’s and shakes her head. “Where do you want me?” she asks, smiling when her girlfriend squeals in excitement.

 


	29. Chapter 29

Clarke sits back on the chair in the bedroom and the extra show is certainly welcome. She taps her pencil against her sketchbook, licking her lips as Lexa takes her bikini top off. It’s going to be pure torture to concentrate on sketching her girlfriend without being able to touch her.

Lexa takes her sweet time to take her shorts off, fully aware that Clarke is staring at her. It’s arousing to see her girlfriend drinking her in like that, with those pretty blue eyes of her. She steps out of her shorts and kicks them aside. It seems quite convenient that she has to pose in the bedroom and she highly doubts it’s coincidental.

“Fuck,” Clarke whispers quietly to herself when Lexa is fully naked. “I want you to sit on the edge of the bed.

Lexa nods and sits on the edge of the bed, crossing one leg over the other.

“No,” Clarke says, shaking her head. “Don’t cross your legs.”

Lexa uncrosses her legs and looks expectantly at Clarke.

“Hmm, actually no,” Clarke says, looking around the room. “I have a better idea,” she continues as she gets up from the chair. “Let’s go to the bathroom.”

“As you wish,” Lexa replies, following Clarke to the bathroom.

Clarke puts her hands on Lexa’s hips and coaxes her to stand in front of the full length mirror. “I want you to hold your right hand up like you’re trying to reach out to your reflection,” she instructs while she goes to sit on the edge of the bathtub. She plans to sketch her girlfriend’s back and her reflection in the mirror from a slightly angled view.

Lexa holds her right hand up, almost touching the mirror. She looks at her reflection, which she used to despise in the past. This time she doesn’t feel the urge to punch the mirror. Her reflection isn’t bad. She has small breasts, but they’re well-formed. Her stomach is flat and she’s sporting a six-pack. Her hair is in light curls, smoothed over her left shoulder.

“Beautiful,” Clarke murmurs as she sketches away. She’s happy that Lexa is allowing her to sketch her because this is the most beautiful view she’s ever been able to capture and she knows this is going to be her favorite work.

Lexa calmly breathes in and out, hearing the pencil move swiftly over the paper. She gasps when Clarke suddenly slaps her ass. “You are being naughty,” she says, smiling as she continues to stand still.

“I know,” Clarke replies cheekily. “You can punish me for it later,” she says while she sketches on. It was impossible for her not to touch Lexa when she’s tempted to jump her.

“I will,” Lexa whispers. “Let me know when you are done sketching me.”

Clarke sticks her tongue out of the corner of her mouth and glances up at Lexa to capture the last few details. Once she’s done, she puts her sketchbook down and tries to sneak up on her girlfriend by tiptoeing.

Lexa spins around at the last second and wraps her arms around Clarke, who shrieks. “The mirror betrayed you,” she says as she wastes no time to undress her girlfriend.

Clarke doesn’t resist and moans when Lexa kisses the exposed skin of her neck and her shoulders.

Lexa’s pupils are blown as she stares into Clarke’s eyes. “Do you trust me?” she asks, pulling her hips towards her.

“Fuck,” Clarke moans, because Lexa is hard and she wants her. “Yes, I trust you,” she answers, aroused by not knowing what awaits her.

Lexa grasps Clarke’s hand and walks her to the bedroom. “Get on the bed, now,” she commands.

“Yes, commander,” Clarke replies obediently. She bites her bottom lip as she does as she’s told.

Lexa retrieves a pair of cuffs and climbs onto the bed. She takes Clarke’s hands and brings them near the headboard where she cuffs her wrists, using the rails. Blue eyes look at her with a mixture of shock, surprise and arousal.

Clarke tugs at her restraints when Lexa straddles her, wanting to touch her badly, only to find she’s not able to.

“Imagine all the things I can do to you,” Lexa whispers as her fingertips circle Clarke’s nipples.

“Fuck, Lexa,” Clarke moans. Each touch from Lexa feels like her body is on fire, a fire which needs to be sated.

“Perhaps I should let you watch me touch myself,” Lexa says thoughtfully. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, naughty girl?”

“Mhmm, yes,” Clarke answers, although she’d like it even more if Lexa would touch her. She wants to feel her inside of her.

“Wait here,” Lexa says as she gets up from the bed. “Not that you have a choice,” she adds with a dry laugh before dashing out of the room.

Clarke groans and rubs her legs together, desperate for some sort of friction. She can’t believe that Lexa walked away when she’s all wet and needy.

Lexa returns hardly a minute later with ice cubes. She holds one and moves it experimentally around Clarke’s breasts.

“Fuck so cold,” Clarke hisses, but she’d be lying if she’d say it doesn’t turn her on.

Lexa watches how Clarke’s nipples harden instantly. She slowly moves the ice cube lower, down her stomach until she reaches her hips. “You’re so wet,” she says, stroking her clit with her finger. “Not wet enough for my taste though,” she adds as she moves the ice cube down to her sensitive bundle of nerves.

“Lexa!” Clarke shouts, gasping at the icy contact. She moves her legs, attempting to wrap them around Lexa.

“I should restrain you more,” Lexa says thoughtfully. “You move too much.”

“Fuck,” Clarke whimpers. By now she’s fairly sure that Lexa is going to destroy her. She doesn’t cooperate when her girlfriend tries to tie her legs to the bed.

Lexa growls and uses more force, though she does look at Clarke to make sure she’s okay. She ties her ankles, having her spread eagle now. Her fingers slowly move up her creamy legs, avoiding her center on purpose as she listens to her needy whimpers and breaths.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers, sighing as she tries to move her hips.

“No,” Lexa says sternly. “Be a good girl for me, Clarke,” she says, lightly slapping her between her legs.

Clarke gasps at that. She moves her hips again, purely so Lexa would slap her again.

“You are such a naughty girl,” Lexa husks, running her hands along Clarke’s sides. She palms her breasts and pinches her nipples to hear her moan. “You like that, hm?”

“Yes, commander,” Clarke answers, a little out of breath.

Lexa takes one of Clarke’s nipples into her mouth, suckling gently on it. She grazes her teeth lightly over her skin while her hand slides down her stomach, stopping short at her pelvis.

Clarke hisses in delight when Lexa bites her. Her hiss is quickly followed by a moan when her girlfriend strokes her folds. “Lexa, please,” she whimpers. “Please.”

Lexa loves the sound of Clarke begging, it’s addictive. She pulls her hand away and pops her nipple out of her mouth to look at her. “Please what?” she asks with a naughty grin.

“Please touch me,” Clarke answers, trying desperately to move against her restraints. “Please, commander.”

Lexa’s cock twitches at the given name she’s grown to love in bed. She leans down to capture Clarke’s lips in a bruising kiss while her hands settle on her waist, nails digging into her skin. Her tongue explores her girlfriend’s mouth eagerly.

“Lexa,” Clarke whispers. She bats her eyelashes and makes a pouty face, hoping she can convince her girlfriend to give her what she needs.

“Patience, my love,” Lexa says, putting her index finger against Clarke’s lips. She takes another ice cube and puts it on her thigh, slowly moving it up. Once she reaches her wet slit, she pushes the ice cube inside of her warm entrance, letting it melt there.

Clarke whines as Lexa litters kisses all over her body. “I need you, please,” she begs, feeling on edge to the point where she’s sure she’s close to coming. “Please, commander.”

Lexa nips at Clarke’s neck. “Tell me what you need, naughty girl,” she husks, sucking on her earlobe.

“I need you inside of me,” Clarke answers, writhing. “Fuck me, commander.”

Lexa teases Clarke’s clit with the tip of her member. “Are you going to be a good girl and take all of it?” she asks, feeling very turned on. She feels an intense desire to make her scream and she won’t rest until her girlfriend can’t take any more.

“Mhmm,” Clarke moans. “Yes, commander,” she answers.

Lexa pushes slowly inside of Clarke, feeling how she’s easily taking her in. “You’re so wet and tight,” she says, moaning at the feeling.

Clarke gasps when Lexa starts moving hard and fast. She tugs at the handcuffs, to no avail.

Lexa reaches out to free Clarke from her handcuffs. It’s a choice she doesn’t regret when eager hands claw at her back.

“Oh, Lexa, yes,” Clarke moans, bucking her hips up as much as she can to meet her thrusts. Her ankles are still tied, which makes it a bit difficult, but at least her hands are free now. She runs her nails down Lexa’s back, smiling when she hisses.

Lexa gets back at Clarke by pushing deeper inside of her. “My naughty girl,” she whispers. She kisses her neck before biting down, close to break her skin. She soothes the bite with her tongue and her lips.

“You feel so good,” Clarke says, moaning as Lexa moves faster. “I’m so close, commander.”

Lexa can hear Clarke panting and when she feels her walls tightening around her cock, she pulls out and smirks. “Not yet,” she says, grasping her chin. “You can’t come until I say you can. Is that understood?”

“Fuck!” Clarke moans. She hates that Lexa is doing this to her, but at the same time she absolutely loves it and she wants more. “Yes, commander,” she answers, dropping her hands.

“Good girl,” Lexa appraises. She kisses Clarke’s nose and smiles at her before lowering herself between her legs, needing to taste her.

Clarke nearly orgasms at the first swipe of Lexa’s tongue. She won’t last long if her girlfriend keeps this up, but she knows she’s not allowed to come yet. “Lexa, please,” she moans, reaching out to grasp her hair.

“Not yet,” Lexa says, returning her administrations. She circles her tongue around Clarke’s clit and sucks on her sensitive bud.

Clarke puts her hand in her mouth and bites down to keep herself from screaming aloud. Her orgasm is building so close and it is sweet torture that Lexa isn’t allowing her to come yet. This is what she gets for having been naughty. Her girlfriend sure doesn’t disappoint.

Lexa pushes two fingers inside of Clarke while her tongue doesn’t leave her clit. She wants to see how far she can push her before she’s really begging to come.

“Fuck,” Clarke moans. By now her hand is covered in bite marks. “Lexa, please, please,” she begs, writhing under her touch. “I need to come. Please.”

Lexa backs away from Clarke, who once again whines at the loss of contact. “Okay, naughty girl,” she says as she pushes her rock hard cock deep inside of her. “You’re allowed to come now.”

“Lexa!” Clarke gasps as she comes.

The way Clarke clenches around her is enough to make Lexa orgasm as well. She thrusts even deeper inside of her, giving her all she has. “Good girl,” she whispers, kissing her soft lips.

Clarke’s body is covered in sweat and she can see Lexa is sweating from the effort as well. “Maybe we can take this to the shower instead?” she suggests with a coy smile.

Lexa isn’t done with Clarke yet, though the idea of continuing in the shower sounds tempting. “Okay,” she agrees as she unties her ankles to free her. “I want you to get on your knees in the shower.”

Clarke bites her bottom lip and pulls Lexa down on top of her, seeking her lips to share a heated kiss.

 


	30. Chapter 30

“The water is going to be so cold,” Clarke says as she stands on the dock. She’s wearing a shirt and underwear, nothing else. The night has fallen by now and she very much enjoyed her first day here with Lexa.

“You do not need to go in it,” Lexa replies, not wanting Clarke to get cold.

“You’re right,” Clarke says, smiling as she steps behind Lexa. “I don’t have to go into the water.”

“Clarke…,” Lexa says, sensing her girlfriend is up to something. “Don’t you dare,” she warns. She’s clad in a tank top and boxer briefs, which isn’t all that warm.

Clarke can’t resist the challenge and pushes Lexa mercilessly into the water. She already knows her girlfriend can swim; otherwise she wouldn’t have risked it. The loud shriek she hears pleases her.

Lexa resurfaces, shivering in the water. “You are being very naughty, Clarke,” she says, punctuating the k.

“Mhmm, naughty is my middle name,” Clarke replies, grinning. “How does the water feel?”

“Why would I tell you when you can feel it for yourself?”

Clarke isn’t prepared for what comes next.

Lexa grasps Clarke’s ankle and yanks her into the water, which serves her right. “Wet again?” she asks teasingly when her girlfriend splutters into the water. “You can’t seem to get enough today, can you?”

“Tease,” Clarke whispers, putting her arms around Lexa’s neck. “It’s cold, but I think you can warm me up in no time.”

“You seem very confident about that,” Lexa replies, pulling Clarke closer.

Clarke’s nipples which are hard and are poking through her drenched shirt press against Lexa’s wet shirt clad breasts. “I am,” she whispers, nudging her nose with her own. “I love you.”

Lexa hums and ghosts her lips over Clarke’s. “I love you too,” she whispers, bringing their lips together.

Their legs are kicking under the water, keeping them afloat as their hands roam down each other’s body.

“It feels amazing to be here with you,” Clarke whispers. “Even though the water is kind of cold,” she adds, smiling as Lexa rubs her arms to warm her up.

“We can go inside to cuddle up on the couch with a warm blanket and some hot chocolate,” Lexa suggests as she swims closer to the dock. “You can choose a movie.”

“You always let me choose,” Clarke says, sighing quietly as she looks at Lexa. “It’s your turn to choose and no excuses about it being my birthday tomorrow.”

Lexa nods and helps Clarke out of the water.

Clarke lifts herself up on the dock and once she’s on it, she reaches her hands out to pull Lexa up. “I like this look on you,” she says, staring at her erect nipples.

Lexa takes Clarke’s hand in hers as they walk back to the cabin together. She’s happy to be here because their surroundings are quiet and peaceful. The nature has always had an appeal to her because nature simply is. Each season is beautiful in its own way, though her favorite is autumn.

“Hey,” Clarke whispers, feeling how Lexa stopped walking to look around. “What’s on your mind?”

“Few know how to appreciate something like this,” Lexa whispers as she looks up at the stars in the sky. “There are many types of art. This nightly sky is art.”

“Hmm, it is,” Clarke agrees. She rests her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

“My favorite season is autumn,” Lexa shares, which she hasn’t told Clarke before.

“Autumn is nice,” Clarke replies while coaxing Lexa to go inside the cabin. “Why autumn?”

“When the rain pours out of the sky you can use it to hide your tears or to dance in it,” Lexa answers, having done mostly the former. “I want to dance and kiss in the rain.”

“Kissing in the rain sounds romantic,” Clarke whispers, not surprised that Lexa is into that. “We should light some candles,” she suggests, smiling when her girlfriend’s face lights up.

Lexa lights several candles while Clarke makes hot chocolate milk. “Considering you said I can choose a movie, I’m going to choose a romantic one,” she says, thinking of cuddling on the couch, all comfortable under the blanket.

“Sounds perfect,” Clarke replies, sitting down on the couch with two cups of hot chocolate.

Lexa joins Clarke on the couch and drapes the blanket over them. “Which season is your favorite?” she asks curiously.

“Hmm, good question,” Clarke answers while handing one of the cups to Lexa. “I would have to say spring,” she says thoughtfully, nodding to herself. “In spring everything starts blooming and I think that’s really beautiful to watch. The weather feels great during spring, like it is warm, but not too warm.”

“Spring is a lovely season to jog,” Lexa whispers as she starts the movie.

Clarke snuggles closer to Lexa, as close as she can get without spilling their hot chocolate. “I can’t think straight,” she whispers when the movie begins. “Nice choice, I like this movie.”

“It’s one of my favorites,” Lexa says, having seen that particular movie at least ten times. She blows over her cup of hot chocolate before taking a small sip. It feels good to cuddle on the couch under a blanket. Her hair and her tank top are still wet, though they’ll dry eventually. After the movie she will take a shower before going to bed.

Clarke uses her free hand to touch Lexa. At first she keeps it innocent, stroking her thigh, but after a while she rubs the palm of her hand over her girlfriend’s underwear. She knows she’s getting her worked up from the soft sighs that escape her mouth.

Lexa bites her bottom lip and makes no move to stop Clarke, who is being naughty again. She’s enjoying to be touched like this, to feel how she is being desired.

By the time the movie is halfway Clarke slips her hand under the waistband of Lexa’s underwear to touch her better. She wraps her hand firmly around her shaft, though not too tight so it wouldn’t feel uncomfortable for her girlfriend.

Lexa quickly empties her cup of hot chocolate, which by now isn’t that hot anymore. She makes a move to touch Clarke, who simply shakes her head.

“Just let me make you feel good,” Clarke whispers, moving her hand up and down. She knows Lexa always gives or reciprocates, but in this moment she wants to concentrate on making her feel good without wanting anything in return.

“Oh… Clarke,” Lexa breathes out. She closes her eyes and tips her head back.

Clarke gets up from the couch and pushes the blanket aside so she can kneel between Lexa’s legs. She pushes her underwear down, sliding it down to her ankles. “Look at me, Lex,” she says, waiting to put her mouth on her until she’s looking.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa wakes up with Clarke in her arms, who she has been spooning all night. It’s her girlfriend’s birthday today and she wants to surprise her with breakfast in bed. She slowly untangles herself, careful not to cause her to stir. Once she is freed, she slips out of the bed and tiptoes towards the kitchen area of the cabin.

She makes toast and cuts them into heart shapes. The hearts look a little bit crooked, though she’s not worried that Clarke would mind that. She squeezes oranges to make fresh orange juice, which she pours in a glass and puts on the tray next to the plate of toasts.

When breakfast is ready she goes outside to her car and opens her trunk, where her guitar is waiting for her. She locks her car and goes back inside, guitar in one hand as she uses her other hand to lift the tray.

She pushes her foot against the slightly open door to open it further as she enters. By now Clarke seems to be stirring. She watches how her girlfriend is feeling around the bed, probably noticing her absence. Hardly a second later those gorgeous blue eyes open and look at her.

“Good morning, my love,” Lexa says, smiling as she carefully puts the tray on the bed.

“Mhmm, good morning,” Clarke mumbles sleepily. She sits up and smiles upon seeing Lexa positioning her guitar, which she didn’t know she brought.

Lexa plays a happy birthday song on her guitar for Clarke while singing.

Clarke melts while Lexa sings and plays. She can’t imagine being with someone more perfect than her girlfriend, who is so sweet and romantic.

Lexa ends the song and puts her guitar aside in the corner of the room. “This breakfast is for you,” she says, placing the tray closer to Clarke. “Happy birthday,” she whispers, kissing her.

Clarke casts a look at the tray. She picks it up and puts it aside on the nightstand, smiling when Lexa looks confused.

“Aren’t you hungry?” Lexa asks, wondering if perhaps she should have gone with pancakes instead of toast.

“Yes, I’m hungry,” Clarke answers, grasping Lexa’s wrist. “Very hungry,” she husks as she pulls her down on the bed.

 Lexa smiles against Clarke’s lips. “You can have anything you want, birthday girl,” she says, pushing her down as she kisses her deeper.

Clarke hooks her leg behind one of Lexa’s legs and switches their positions, flipping her onto her back. She knows exactly what she wants and she’s not planning to leave the room anytime soon, if she even leaves it at all today.

“You’re so thirsty,” Lexa comments teasingly as Clarke grinds on top of her. “I should have brought you water.”

“I’m not the only one who’s thirsty, commander,” Clarke replies, smirking when Lexa moans. “I think it’s my turn to tie you up. You know, since it’s my birthday,” she says, happy that she can pull that card.

“That is true,” Lexa admits. She would rather do things to pleasure Clarke, though she won’t object to her wanting to take the lead. Whatever makes her girlfriend happy is good for her. “I actually thought you would eat breakfast and I was planning to give you a lap dance afterwards.”

“Mhmm, a lap dance you say,” Clarke hums, picturing Lexa doing that. “I think I want to see that first,” she says as she gets up from the bed. “Show me your moves, commander.”

“You need a chair and I need music,” Lexa says as she gets up from the bed as well.

“Go get a chair and I’ll choose a song,” Clarke replies with a wink. “I think I might know the perfect song for this.”

“I bet you do,” Lexa whispers. “Should I be worried?” she asks, lingering at the door.

Clarke smiles while she goes through playlists on her phone. “Probably,” she answers to tease Lexa some more. She never had anyone give her a lap dance and she’s happy her girlfriend will be the first to give her one.

 


	31. Chapter 31

Clarke sits down on the chair and looks up at Lexa as Haunted by Beyonce starts playing, which she picked out for her because there’s something sensual to that song. Her tongue darts out of her mouth to wet her lips because seeing her girlfriend wearing nothing but boxer briefs, a blouse and a tie is doing things to her.

Lexa sways her hips lightly to the music and she’s not sure if this whole lap dance thing will turn out to look good, but she’ll go with what she feels and let the music guide her. She takes a step forward, stopping just shy of Clarke’s knees.

Clarke’s hands are aching to touch Lexa already, especially now that she’s so close that she can smell her vanilla soap. Everything about her girlfriend invites her in and that’s an invitation she wouldn’t want to deny.

Lexa moves her left foot between Clarke’s feet, gently teasing her legs apart, wide enough to allow her space to stand between them. She continues to move her hips to the sound of the music. When her girlfriend looks at her with hunger in her eyes, she leans forward, letting her lips ghost over hers.

Clarke is about to close the inch of space that’s left between their lips when Lexa backs away. Her girlfriend is such a damn tease, which she loves. It’s one of the things that drive her crazy in the best way possible. The fun of being teased is that it riles her up and makes her want to get back at Lexa, which often leads to mind-blowing sex.

Lexa shakes her head when Clarke makes a move to put her hands on her hips. For now she won’t allow her girlfriend to touch her yet, because it’s nicer when she’s on edge just that bit more. She puts her hands on the back of the chair, over Clarke’s shoulders.

Clarke gasps at the sight of Lexa leaning forward, arching her back and pushing her ass up into the air. Her girlfriend truly is a tease and if this is how she gives a lap dance, she’s going to want one more often.

Lexa releases her grip on the chair to stand up straight. She undoes her tie, toying with it as she loosens it. Once it’s loose she flosses it around the back of her neck, moving her hips from the left to the right and back. She lifts her tie above her head and moves it around Clarke’s neck.

Clarke is aroused when Lexa uses the tie to pull her closer and this time their lips touch just barely. It’s hardly a split second, but she sighs into it regardless.

Lexa lets her grip on her tie go so it falls to the floor. She brings her hands up to her breasts, slowly sliding them down her chest and her stomach in a sensual movement under Clarke’s watchful eyes. Seeing her girlfriend look at her as if she’s exasperated and needs a drink makes her feel sexy and desired. She’ll never grow tired of feeling desired, because it’s an intense prickling feeling and a compliment.

Clarke’s eyes move in sync with Lexa’s hands, wishing her hands would be touching her like that. She nearly leaps from the chair when her girlfriend is reaching her hips, but then Lexa reverses her movement and begins to bring her hands back up.

Lexa pops the first button of her blouse open and then the second one. She pauses to run a hand through her hair. Once the third button is open, she puts her hands on Clarke’s knees and drops down to the floor as low as she can.

“Mhmm,” Clarke moans, sucking her lips into her mouth. She notices that Lexa isn’t wearing a bra and while she’s crouched down like that she has a pretty view of her cleavage. It doesn’t last long when her girlfriend moves back up.

Lexa leisurely brings her fingers to the next button. In one swift movement she rips the rest of her buttons, smirking as they fall to the floor with a soft sound.

Clarke’s eyes zero in on Lexa’s abs, which are revealed more as she moves. She might have fainted if she wasn’t sitting when her girlfriend moves the blouse down her arms, allowing her an even better view of her delicious abs and breasts.

Lexa steps between Clarke’s legs and turns her back towards her, grinding as the music continues to play. Hearing her girlfriend moan and gasp tells her she’s enjoying it. She grinds one more time before turning around to face her. “How are you doing?” she husks, cocky because Clarke’s pupils are dilated and her lips are parted in awe.

“Fuck… Lexa,” Clarke whispers, shuddering when her girlfriend caresses her cheek with the back of her index finger. “I want to kiss you.”

Lexa throws one leg over Clarke’s lap and then the other, straddling her. “Oh really?” she asks, whispering near her ear. She kisses the shell of her ear and takes her earlobe between her teeth.

“Kiss me right now, commander,” Clarke demands, driven by lust. “It’s my birthday.”

Lexa isn’t going to deny the birthday girl anything, especially not a kiss. She kisses her jawline, working her way towards her lips.

Once Clarke feels Lexa’s lips on hers, she threads her fingers through her hair, kissing her with more fever. She bites her bottom lip, lightly pulling it back to tease her girlfriend. The day has hardly begun and this is already by far the best birthday she ever had.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“My marshmallow is completely burnt,” Clarke says, chuckling as she shows the now black marshmallow to Lexa.

“I tried to warn you,” Lexa replies, which she did, two times. She smiles as she moves her stick away from the fire, with her marshmallow which looks far tastier. “You can have mine,” she says, offering her stick to Clarke.

“I have a better idea,” Clarke whispers, grasping the stick. She plucks the marshmallow off of the stick and puts it halfway into her mouth.

“You want to share this way, yet I’m the sap?” Lexa asks in disbelief. She leans in to bite her half off of the marshmallow, meeting Clarke’s lips. Kissing with a mouthful of marshmallow isn’t practical, though she’s not going to complain about it.

“Now that’s what I call a sweet kiss,” Clarke says, licking her lips for the remains of the sugar. “Are you going to play a song?” she asks, looking expectantly at Lexa’s guitar.

“Our campfire would not be complete without it,” Lexa answers, taking her guitar. “Any requests, my love?”

Clarke pricks a fresh marshmallow onto her stick. “Hmm, surprise me,” she answers, smiling as she shifts a bit so she can see Lexa better.

 

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_

_You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_

_What's going on in that beautiful mind_

_I'm on your magical mystery ride_

_And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_

 

Clarke smiles while Lexa sings and she silently wishes this night won’t end. The campfire is pleasantly warm and her girlfriend’s voice warms her as well.

 

_My head's under water_

_But I'm breathing fine_

_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

 

Clarke decides to sing along, resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder.

 

_'Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me_

_I'll give my all to you_

_You're my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I'm winning_

_'Cause I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you, oh oh_

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Hmmph,” Clarke complains as they’re packing their things. “I’m going to miss this place,” she says, sighing. It’s Sunday and they have to get back because Lexa has classes to teach tomorrow while she has classes she needs to attend.

“I know. Me too,” Lexa says, sighing quietly. “This weekend flew by fast.”

Clarke wishes the weekend would have gone slower, but time always seems to fly with Lexa. She knows they’ll still be able to see each other, of course, but being here, just the two of them, felt nice. Everything is peaceful and silent around here.

“I’ll put everything in the car,” Lexa says, grabbing their bags.

“Now we can count down to your birthday,” Clarke says, even though they won’t be in a cabin then. Lexa’s birthday falls early in march, during a school day, which is a bit of a bummer. She put it in her phone with a counter that counts down the days.

“I feel old,” Lexa says, though she doesn’t mind the eight years age difference between them. It’s quite the gap, but it’s not a big deal and they’re both adults. “What are you going to do with all your sketches?”

Clarke has a feeling Lexa is asking about one sketch in particular. “I’m going to keep them for my private collection,” she answers, tucking her sketchbook under her arm. “You can have the one of you if you want,” she offers.

“It’s okay, you can keep it,” Lexa replies, not worried about it.

Clarke follows Lexa outside to get in the car. She clicks her seatbelt into place and checks her phone to see what her friends are up to. During her weekend with her girlfriend she hasn’t texted them, aside from yesterday when she responded briefly when they texted her birthday wishes.

 

 **Griffster:** about to be on my way back

 **Griffster:** how are things?

 **Little Blake:** I hardly left my room

 **Reyes:** we’ve been studying

 **Griffster:** of course you have

 **Griffster:** I’ve been studying too

 **Womanizer:** anatomy is great ;)

 **Reyes:** you know she’s talking about your cousin right?

 **Womanizer:** gross

 **Little Blake:** your cousin’s got a little something

 **Reyes:** I’m not even jealous

 **Reyes:** Miss Woods is hot

 **Reyes:** Miss Forest is hot too

 **Reyes:** dammit Ri, your family is hot

 **Griffster:** Miss Forest is alright I guess

 **Womanizer:** y’all need to stop drooling over my family

 **Reyes:** I’m going to grab a drink at Grounders with O

 **Reyes:** I’d invite u, Clarke, but you’re not around

 **Reyes:** Ri, you coming?

 **Womanizer:** can’t, I’m going to talk to my brother

 **Griffster:** good luck with that

 **Griffster:** I hope it works out

 **Womanizer:** I hope so too

 

Lexa turns her key and she’s not surprised that Clarke’s phone is buzzing non-stop. “I see they missed you,” she says as she starts the engine.

“They probably missed me a little bit, but they’ve been keeping themselves busy,” Clarke replies without looking up from her screen. “Ontari is going to talk with her brother.”

Lexa sighs as she thinks about the messy situation Ontari got herself in with Roan. She doesn’t fault her cousin for having feelings for someone, but the things that happened between Ontari and Echo shouldn’t have happened. It makes her feel bad for Roan, who caught his girlfriend cheating on him with his sister. She’s a bit disappointed in Ontari for having let it get that far, but she’s even more disappointed in Echo who should have known better.

“Ri is my friend, but she made a mistake,” Clarke says, sighing while she reads through new chats. “I don’t find what she has done okay by any means, but it takes two to tango. Her brother is the victim in this and even though I don’t know him, I feel bad for him because I know what it’s like to have someone cheating on you. What makes it worse was that Ontari knew that when she made out with Echo.”

Lexa could never imagine doing something like that to family or to anyone really. When someone is taken, they are taken. It’s as simple as that. She knows Echo lured Ontari towards her and they’re both guilty. If she would be in Roan’s shoes she wouldn’t know what she would do. Cheating is something she personally can’t forgive.

 

 **Womanizer:** I’m not sure if I’ll be back tonight

 **Griffster:** you won’t sleep in our room?

 **Griffster:** what about your classes tomorrow?

 **Womanizer:** I’ll be back in the morning and if not I’ll take a sick day

 **Reyes:** I wouldn’t do that if I were u

 **Little Blake:** I’m with Rae

 **Little Blake:** it is college, so skipping isn’t a good plan

 

“Ontari might take a sick day tomorrow,” Clarke says, sharing it with Lexa because that’s kind of what they do. It’s not like she shares every little thing her friends tell her, but it seems important to let her know Ontari might skip.

“I’m worried about her,” Lexa says, sighing as she keeps her eyes on the road. “I know she’s an adult, but she’s still young and she needs a parental figure or a mentor of sorts to guide her a little bit here and there. She was finally reaching out to me a bit, allowing me to help her, but I feel like she’s pulling away.”

“I think she might be feeling misunderstood and perhaps judged as well, because of the situation at hand,” Clarke replies thoughtfully, trying to put herself in Ontari’s shoes. “We’re going to work things out, together, and we’ll make sure she knows she has a support system she can lean on whenever she needs to.”

 


	32. Chapter 32

“Okay, wait, wait,” Clarke says, giggling. She sits down on her bed, cross-legged, while Raven and Octavia sit down on her bed as well. They asked her to hear all about how her weekend went and she does plan to tell them some things about it, though not every detail.

“I have a feeling this is going to be good,” Octavia says, grinning as she rubs her hands together.

“Me too,” Raven chimes in. “Come on, Clarke. Spill,” she says impatiently.

“Lexa brought me breakfast in bed on my birthday,” Clarke reveals. “I didn’t eat it right away though, because I was a bit distracted.”

“Oooh, you got some action, huh?” Octavia asks teasingly.

“Stop it, O,” Clarke says, laughing as she slaps Octavia’s arm. “I received a lap dance.”

“Hot!” Raven replies. “Lap dances are great.”

“I’ll give you one sometime, babe,” Octavia says to Raven.

“Mhmm,” Raven hums, kissing Octavia’s cheek. “I’d rather give you one sometime.”

“I can’t wait,” Octavia replies, smiling as she kisses Raven.

Clarke shakes her head when Octavia and Raven lose themselves in their kiss for a while, though she doesn’t interrupt them. They’re kind of disgusting sometimes, but in a good way.

Raven pulls away, smiling as Octavia whines. “Okay, so you got a lap dance,” she says to Clarke. “Go on.”

“We swam in the lake and we watched movies,” Clarke shares, which is innocent enough. She can’t stop a silly smirk and a blush from appearing on her face when she thinks back to all the sex she had with Lexa, which felt incredible.

“I know that expression,” Octavia says. “You two fucked.”

“Like bunnies I bet,” Raven adds.

“Oh my god,” Clarke replies, gasping. “We made love,” she admits.

“By the way, we have a birthday present for you!” Octavia shouts excitedly. She stumbles out of Clarke’s bed and pulls a box from underneath Ontari’s bed. “Ri isn’t here right now, but it’s from the three of us,” she explains as she hands the box over.

“Aww, thank you,” Clarke says as she tugs the ribbon open.

Octavia chuckles and nudges Raven.

Clarke eyes her friends warily as she opens the box. Once it’s open she’s shocked by what they’ve given her. The box is filled with sex toys. Dildos, vibrators, a whip, cuffs, and all kinds of toys she could use. Not that she needs any toys because her girlfriend is enough for her. There’s a pink vibrator in her drawer somewhere, which she hasn’t used ever since she had sex with Lexa for the first time.

“You should try this one,” Raven says to Clarke as she points at the big black dildo. “You’re going to love it.”

“You sound like you know what you’re talking about,” Clarke replies, smiling when Raven nods.

Raven leans closer towards Clarke and whispers something in her ear about Finn’s beneath average qualities in bed, which has them both chuckling.

“These gifts are very… interesting,” Clarke says thoughtfully. She could always show them to Lexa and see how she feels about possibly using some toys.

“It’ll keep your love life interesting,” Raven says, winking.

“Oh, trust me, it already is,” Clarke replies, not lacking anything with Lexa. She loves how things are going between them because they can talk openly about anything and the physical aspects are good too.

“Since Ri isn’t here…,” Octavia says as her eyes twinkle with mischief. “What is Miss Woods like in bed? Is she more experienced than you?”

“I don’t think I should be talking about my sexual relations,” Clarke answers, hesitating to share. Of course she’s going to keep Lexa’s secret to herself and it also seems like a good idea not to talk too much about sex. She’s not shy to discuss the topic with her friends. No, some things simply need to be kept between the sheets.

“From the smile on your face each time you’re about to spend time with her I would say she’s definitely experienced,” Raven says. “I’m happy you have her. You deserve it so much after the shit Finn pulled.”

“Same for you with O,” Clarke replies, happy Raven isn’t miserable. “If you two ever get married, I’m calling dibs on being maid of honor.”

“Hmm, who knows,” Octavia whispers, sighing dreamily.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The doorbell rings just as Lexa was getting settled in her bed. She’s late to sleep, considering the clock passed midnight as she was putting pajamas on. It’s very unusual for someone to ring her doorbell this late. When it rings again, she sighs and reluctantly gets up.

She flicks her lights from her living room on and walks on to her hall to open the front door. It can’t be a prank because all the children in the neighborhood went to bed hours ago already. She’s not expecting anyone and Clarke wouldn’t suddenly drop by like that, especially not on a Sunday night.

The sight in front of her door makes her heart drop.

Ontari slowly drags her eyes up from the ground to look at her cousin. There’s a cut in her lip, a purple bruise on her cheek and a dark blue circle around her left eye. Her clothes are somewhat torn, like she fought with a wild animal. Blood is seeping from her nose, which could be broken unless she got a bit lucky. All in all, she looks pretty banged up.

Lexa can feel anger radiating off of her cousin, but also pain and shame. “Ontari,” she whispers, tentatively reaching a hand out. She exhales quietly when she doesn’t back away from her touch. “Come inside,” she says, keeping her voice calm and steady.

Ontari follows Lexa into her bathroom. She hisses when her cousin dabs a wet washcloth at her wounds.

“I can take you to the hospital to have you examined,” Lexa offers, feeling very concerned.

“No hospitals,” Ontari replies, grasping the washcloth out of Lexa’s hand. “I’m fine.”

Lexa strongly disagrees with that. “What happened?” she asks, not wanting to assume that her cousin got into a fight. There’s anger building inside of her because she hates seeing her family hurt.

“Things with my brother took an ugly turn,” Ontari answers, sighing. “I was there, to talk, but Echo was there too. At some point Roan got mad at Echo and he told her she was being a slut when she cheated on him with me. I told him not to talk to her like that because it’s disrespectful, even though she did cheat.”

Lexa doesn’t quite approve of calling a woman a slut either, so she understands why Ontari felt the need to speak up about it. If she had been there she would have also told Roan not to use such language.

“Then he got even angrier,” Ontari continues, scoffing. “He used some words to describe Echo, which I’m not going to repeat because it’s fucked up. Anyways, I snapped at him and we fought. I know I look like shit, but he ain’t looking much better.”

“You do know fighting does not resolve anything, right?” Lexa asks, wishing both Ontari and Roan wouldn’t be so quick to use their fists rather than their words.

“I wasn’t going to stand there and do nothing while he talked shit about her, fuck no,” Ontari answers, kicking her foot against the bathroom wall. “The fucked up part was that Echo interrupted us and I was like okay I’ll calm down, you know, for her sake.”

“Easy, Ontari,” Lexa whispers while putting her hands on her cousin’s shoulders. “Take a deep breath and then tell me what happened next.”

Ontari grumbles at first, but eventually she does take a deep breath. “Echo basically took his side,” she says as angry tears fill her eyes. “She told me I should leave and I told her she shouldn’t take Roan’s crap just because she made a mistake. Okay yes, she cheated on my brother, but that doesn’t make her any of the things he called her. If he calls her a cheater, fine, but he’s not allowed to call her a slut and stuff like that.”

Lexa is disappointed that Roan fought Ontari, given he is older and should have known better, but she’s also disappointed in her younger cousin for having fought him in the first place. “Violence is never the answer and I know you are tired of hearing that, but it’s the truth,” she says softly. “You’re right that Roan shouldn’t call Echo such offensive disrespectful words. Speaking up about that was good, but fighting him wasn’t.”

Ontari works her jaw and curls her hands into fists. “I still love her,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “It’s wrong, but I love her and I’d deck anyone who disrespects her.”

“I know you said no hospitals, but I want to make sure nothing is broken,” Lexa says, hoping to convince Ontari that there’s no harm in getting examined. “If you allow me to take you to one, you can stay here for a while,” she suggests, assuming her cousin isn’t going back to her dorm someday soon. “You’re going to need a note from the doctor anyway.”

“Fine, you can take me to one,” Ontari mutters. “It’ll only cost you sleep though, so why bother?”

“Car, now,” Lexa says sternly. She wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway if she wouldn’t take Ontari to a hospital. “When we return, you can stay in the guestroom.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke tries not to look in Ontari’s direction too much while she eats the dinner Lexa cooked. It’s a shocking sight to see one of her friends look like she went to hell and back. She came over to her girlfriend’s place once she was done with her classes and after finishing a paper. Ontari’s absence had already been obvious and it wasn’t until she got here that she found out that she’s staying here for a while.

Lexa puts her hand on top of Clarke’s, stroking her thumb over her knuckles. She has a feeling her girlfriend would have considered sleeping over, though now it’s hanging unsurely between them.

Ontari grasps her glass of water and slowly drinks from it, cursing at her split lip. “Do you have earplugs somewhere?” she asks her cousin.

“Earplugs?” Lexa asks, frowning, though she has a feeling why due to the smirk on Ontari’s face.

“I don’t know yet if I’m staying over,” Clarke says, speaking up. “I should probably go back to my room on campus tonight.”

“You two can do whatever you want,” Ontari says, roughly moving her glass around in her hand. “If you want to hump each other, go for it, as long as I don’t have to hear it.”

Lexa is not that horny that she would need to have sex with Clarke every time they see each other. She can appreciate a night of cuddling and kissing. Other moments will arise.

Clarke sighs and shakes her head at Ontari.

“Clarke, I saw you bringing that box with you and I know what’s in it,” Ontari says, grinning when Clarke blushes ever so lightly. “So yeah, you’re not going to tell me you came here just to hold her hand.”

“I brought the box to show its contents to her, not to necessarily use them,” Clarke corrects. It’s not a lie, although the idea of using some sex toys sounds tempting.

Ontari shrugs and gets up from the table. “I’ll be in the guestroom,” she mumbles. “It was good seeing you, Clarke. Don’t mind my face,” she says as she gestures at her face. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lexa.”

Clarke thinks of saying something because Ontari doesn’t look bad. At least not in the ugly kind of way, just sort of bad in the way that it’s clear she’s been in a nasty fight. She doesn’t get the chance when her friend walks away and the door of the guestroom slams shut.

“I will get started on the dishes,” Lexa says as she gets up. “Do you want to wash them or dry them this time?” she asks, knowing her girlfriend is going to insist to help.

“Hmm, I washed them last time, so I’ll go with drying them this time.”

Lexa feels Clarke’s arms circling her waist from behind. She slowly turns around where she is met with soft lips immediately while being pushed against the table. “Clarke,” she whispers when their kiss breaks for a second, “the dishes.”

“Mhmm, the dishes can wait,” Clarke whispers, putting her hands on Lexa’s hips.

Lexa doesn’t stop Clarke’s wandering hands. “You always distract me, my love,” she says, smiling as her neck is being kissed. “You know what it does to me when you do that.”

Clarke continues to kiss Lexa’s neck undisturbed because knowing what it does to her is exactly the point. 

 


	33. Chapter 33

“Oh, Lexa, yes!” Clarke moans loudly. “Yes, right there!”

“Clarke,” Lexa says, fixing her with a look because she already told her four times to keep her volume down.

“It’s not my fault you’re so good with your hands,” Clarke says in her defense. She knows she’s being loud, but she can’t help it and if Ontari would hear her and be bothered by it, she can always listen to music or put some earplugs in.

Lexa sighs, sensing Clarke is not going to be quiet anytime soon. Her thoughts are confirmed not even a minute later when her girlfriend moans aloud again.

“Your hands must be magic,” Clarke muses.

“If that was true you would be silent,” Lexa replies, though she’s not annoyed. She can’t even pretend to sound frustrated when the smile on her face gives her away.

“I didn’t know a massage from you would feel this heavenly,” Clarke whispers, sighing as she relaxes into Lexa’s touch. “My back feels a lot better now.”

“You had a bit of a knot between your shoulder blades,” Lexa says, having felt it. “I can massage your legs next if you want me to,” she offers, happy that she can make Clarke relax.

“You’re a literal angel,” Clarke replies, rolling over onto her back so she can face Lexa. She pulls her girlfriend down, softly attaching her lips to hers.

Lexa grinds her hips and repeats her movement when Clarke moans. At this point her cousin probably thinks they’re having sex anyway, if she heard how obscene her girlfriend was moaning during that back massage.

Clarke pushes Lexa down and smiles as she straddles her. “There’s a gag somewhere in my box of toys,” she says, casually hinting they could use it.

“From what I heard, you would need it,” Lexa replies, smiling when Clarke gapes at her.

“I can be silent,” Clarke objects. She moans when Lexa bucks her hips up. “You’re such a tease, Lex,” she says as she leans down to kiss her.

“Not that I don’t believe in you, but I doubt you can keep quiet,” Lexa says, simply being realistic. She knows how loud Clarke can become in bed, which she loves.

“You know…,” Clarke whispers, running a hand through her hair as she exhales. “The fact that we would have to be quiet turns me on.”

Lexa could have guessed as much because she knows Clarke likes a challenge. It does sound tempting to have to be silent. It adds an extra thrill of sorts. She’s interested to go for it, although at the same time she’s considering sticking to cuddling and kissing. It’s very refreshing for her to be in a relationship with someone who can’t keep her hands off of her.

“Some of the toys are interesting to try,” Clarke says, getting up to put the box on the bed. “Such as… this one,” she says while holding the whip in her hand. “What do you think, commander?”

“Hmm,” Lexa whispers, taking the whip out of Clarke’s hand. “I think you would have trouble sitting for a few days.”

“Oh yeah?” Clarke asks, smirking as she sits down close to Lexa. “Are you going to whip me?”

“If you’re a naughty girl, yes,” Lexa answers, leaning in while Clarke leans in too. “We should save this for another time,” she suggests, sure that using certain toys won’t keep them quiet.

“Okay,” Clarke whispers, sighing. “I think I need a cold shower.”

Lexa smiles and kisses Clarke’s nose. “You’re adorable,” she whispers, purely to tease her.

“I’m not the only one who is wound up,” Clarke replies, reaching her hand out to place it between Lexa’s legs. She smiles when she manages to draw a gasp from her. “Like I said, I’m not the only one,” she says, pleased to feel how hard she is.

“You’re not wrong,” Lexa confirms, not going to deny that. “However, I can keep it together for a few days,” she says, believing that it won’t be that difficult.

Clarke’s eyes flash with mischief. “It’s a little hot in here,” she says, grasping the hem of her shirt to lift it over her head.

“Clarke,” Lexa says, realizing what her girlfriend is up to. “When I said I can keep it together for a few days I didn’t mean that as a challenge.”

“What’s the matter, Lex?” Clarke asks innocently. “Are you saying you can’t control yourself when I take my shirt off?”

Lexa’s nails dig into her pillow when Clarke starts taking her pants off. By the time her girlfriend is naked she is so turned on it hurts and her pillow has been ripped. She opens her fists, releasing handfuls of feathers. “You are doing this on purpose,” she says as Clarke walks around, completely naked.

“I want to sleep naked tonight because it’s so…so hot,” Clarke replies, running her hands down her body. “You said you can keep it together for a few days, so I don’t see the issue here.”

“In that case, let me assist you,” Lexa offers sweetly. “I will turn the air conditioner on to make my bedroom less hot.”

“It won’t be less hot unless you plan not to sleep in your room,” Clarke says, unable to resist reminding Lexa how sexy she is.

Lexa chuckles and shakes her head. “Come here, smooth talker,” she says, patting her mattress.

Clarke doesn’t need to be told twice. She lies down and smiles when Lexa kisses her. It feels good and when her girlfriend unexpectedly runs her fingers through her folds, she moans into her mouth.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Drinking five cups of moonshine probably wasn’t the brightest idea, given Clarke feels an oncoming headache settling. Monty and Jasper are throwing a party again, and as always, she’s attending. She had offered Lexa to stay with her, but her girlfriend said she should have some fun with her friends, which is why she’s here with Raven and Octavia.

Ontari had said no because she refuses to be seen considering her lip and her bruises are still healing. She’s grabbing a cup of water when something strange catches her eye. About ten steps away from her on some couch, Octavia is sitting next to a guy. They’re laughing, each with a drink in their hand and she gasps when she sees the guy kissing her best friend.

It shocks her because she knows Octavia is in a relationship with Raven, who she has been crushing on since their very first day in college when they were freshmen. The kiss only seems to last merely five seconds. Then again, five seconds isn’t exactly a peck.

“What the fuck, O!” Raven shouts, now standing in front of the couch with a furious look on her face.

“Rae,” Octavia replies, eyes wide. “You… you’re angry.”

“I go grab a drink for a minute and turn my back, and next thing I know you’re kissing Atom!” Raven yells, her face turning slightly red. “So yes, I’m angry!”

Clarke empties her water and throws the cup away. She can see things are about to escalate between Raven and Octavia, which she doesn’t want to happen because they’re great together.

“What??” Octavia says, wildly shaking her head. “No… babe, I didn’t kiss him.”

“Don’t lie,” Raven replies, groaning. She punches Atom in the face. “Bastard,” she hisses with tears in her eyes.

“Rae, breathe,” Clarke says, catching her wrist. She sighs as Atom is bringing his hands up to his nose which is bleeding.

“I didn’t kiss Atom and I don’t want to kiss him,” Octavia says with pleading eyes. “He kissed me.”

“Then why didn’t you push him away!?” Raven shouts, visibly upset. “You should have pushed him away because it looked like you didn’t mind at all!”

“Babe, please… can you listen for a moment and stop yelling at me?” Octavia asks, deflated.

“How could you!” Raven yells as more tears fall.

“Raven,” Clarke says, wiping her tears away with her thumbs. “Give Octavia a minute to explain, okay?” she asks, sensing that maybe it’s not what it looked like.

Raven sucks her lips into her mouth and nods.

Octavia glances briefly at Atom who is walking away. “I was sitting here with Atom,” she says, sighing. “We were talking, drinking and laughing a bit, which was nice. But then he kissed me all of the sudden and I… I froze,” she explains, a worried look on her face as she fidgets with her hands. “I felt like I couldn’t move and it wasn’t enjoyable at all.”

Raven slowly releases her lips from her mouth. “You don’t want something with Atom?” she asks skeptically.

“Of course not,” Octavia answers whilst taking Raven’s hands in hers. “I’m in love with you,” she says as she pulls her girlfriend onto her lap.

Clarke believes Octavia because she knows her and she knows she wouldn’t lie. It’s not that her best friend is always an innocent angel, but she can tell when she’s lying and this time Octavia really isn’t lying.

Raven flings her arms around Octavia’s neck. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, baby,” she says, pressing her nose against her cheek. “Can you forgive me?”

“I already have,” Octavia answers, rubbing Raven’s back. “I would never hurt you on purpose, I hope you know that.”

Clarke breathes out in relief, glad that the misunderstanding has been sorted out before they would drastically split up over a mishap. When Raven had gotten angry she was concerned a breakup would follow and she’s happy that it didn’t.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa sits down at her table and waits patiently for Ontari and Anya to take a seat as well. Of course she informed her older cousin about the situation their younger cousin is in. It’s not something that could be hidden anyway.

“I called Roan today,” Anya says. “He’s upset about what happened and he said he wished he wouldn’t have fought with you,” she says to Ontari.

“It’s whatever,” Ontari replies, shrugging. “I knew he’d fight back. That’s what our family does.”

“I don’t approve that he hit you as much as I don’t approve that you hit him,” Anya says sternly.

“He insulted Echo, he fucking deserved every punch,” Ontari grumbles. “Thinking of it makes me want to punch him again.”

“Ontari,” Lexa says calmly, waiting for her younger cousin to look at her. “Remember to breathe,” she says, knowing that telling her to calm down would only make her temper worse. “Conflicts cannot be solved by raising your fists.”

“Fighting is only good when it’s used as a defense, not to harm someone,” Anya says to Ontari.

“I was defending Echo’s honor because my brother was being a dick!”

“If you are going to shout and curse like that I’m not going to listen to you any further,” Anya says coolly. “Either you keep this civil or I will leave.”

“See if I care,” Ontari scoffs.

“You’re letting your feelings cloud you,” Lexa says to Ontari. “You love Echo and you lost yourself in your anger. It’s not easy to control anger, but it’s necessary. You cannot let your anger control you. Learn when to leave a room to cool down.”

“Lexa is right,” Anya agrees. “What Roan said about Echo was wrong, though the fact that you decided to fight him wasn’t any better.”

“We want to help you, Ontari,” Lexa says sincerely. “Unless you allow us to help you, we won’t be able to.”

“I don’t see how wanting to control me is supposed to help me,” Ontari mutters, crossing her arms. “Sure, I have anger issues sometimes, but I’d be damned if I’d let anyone hurt someone I care about in any way.”

 


	34. Chapter 34

Clarke nervously paces around in the bathroom and she hates how careless she has been. It was wrong of her to think that missing her pill a few times wouldn’t be a big deal, thinking it wouldn’t leave her system that fast since she’s been on the pill for several years. Her mother is a doctor for Christ sakes, so as her daughter who knows a thing or two she should have known better.

Her period is late, which is freaking her out. She was supposed to get her period three days ago and she still doesn’t have it. Three days doesn’t directly seem like something to worry about because she knows it can be infrequent, but her period has always been on time, like clockwork, considering she’s on the pill.

There have been times were on a rare occasion her period was a day late, but three days gives her a bad feeling. By now it’s far too late to collect a morning after pill, which in hindsight she should have thought of a lot sooner. The time that her box was empty and she had asked Octavia to buy her a new one, who couldn’t, wasn’t the only time she skipped a day.

To say that it was reckless of her to be so careless about it is an understatement. She’s been in a relationship for almost four months now, which isn’t really that long yet. It’s not a good time to be stressing about not having her period yet because Lexa’s twenty-eight birthday is tomorrow and she still has a few things to organize.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door and when she doesn’t say anything, Emily enters.

“I placed all the ingredients for the cake in the kitchen,” Emily says with a sweet smile. She frowns when Clarke grips the sink. “Is something wrong, sweetie?”

Clarke slowly exhales and drags her eyes up to look at her stepmother. “I’m just feeling a little off, is all,” she answers, not wanting to share that she’s worried she could possibly be pregnant. Maybe she’s freaking out too fast because three days isn’t that much. She could get her period any second now.

Emily puts the palm of her hand against Clarke’s forehead. “Hmm,” she says, dropping her hand. “You look a little pale. Did something happen?”

Clarke wrings her hands together and chews the inside of her cheek. Even if she would dare to say what’s on her mind, she can’t because that would mean she would have to explain that her girlfriend has a penis. It’s not up to her to share such personal information about Lexa.

“I’m fine, Emily,” Clarke says with a weak smile. “Are you going to help me to bake that cake? I’m kind of a disaster in the kitchen sometimes.”

“I’d love to,” Emily answers, giving Clarke’s forearms a gentle squeeze. “I checked all the ingredients to make sure none of them has traces of nuts.”

“I appreciate your help,” Clarke replies, feeling like she should show Emily more that she does.

Together they leave the bathroom to go to the kitchen.

Clarke will have to keep a steady hand for when she decorates the cake once it’s finished. There’s no need to panic yet, though she’s panicking a little bit on the inside. Maybe she’s overthinking it too much, but she can’t help but wonder how Lexa would react if she really would end up being pregnant. Their relationship is still in an early stage and she’d hate to spook her away.

“How about I bake the cake so you can work on the birthday card you were making for her?” Emily suggests, kindly smiling as she rests a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “Once it’s done, you can decorate it.”

“Um sure, yes,” Clarke replies, a little bit distracted. “Tomorrow when I’m done with my classes I’ll come pick the cake up so I can take it to Lexa.”

“Honey, I’m home,” Jake says with a chipper tone as her enters the kitchen. He smiles and wraps his arms around his wife, kissing her. “I got the twenty-eight candles for the birthday cake,” he says, holding a plastic bag up.

“Thanks, dad,” Clarke says, smiling at him. She wonders if Lexa will be able to blow all of them out, which she doubts is possible in one breath.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa slips into a pair of black sweatpants and puts a shirt on, feeling ready to jog. She ate some toast and an apple a little while ago when she woke up. Her routine gives her structure to the point where she doesn’t need to set an alarm, because she wakes up at five in the morning automatically. Once her shoes are tied, she grabs her keys and her music, heading out the door.

It’s her birthday today, though today doesn’t feel any different from other days. She never put much effort into celebrating. It’s a regular day considering after her jog she will get ready to go to campus to teach. Shape of You starts playing, which has her smiling. The song no longer links her to a negative feeling.

She jogs to the park, frowning when she sees a piece of paper has been taped to the bench where Clarke always sat during the weekends. Out of curiosity she jogs towards it to see what it says. It must have been taped there quite recently because it’s not wet and it rained during the night.

The piece of paper has a small drawing on it of a candle with a speech bubble. Without reading the text in the bubble she can already tell it’s from her girlfriend, who knows how much she likes candles. Clarke must have gotten up very early to tape that to this bench.

 

_You’re sweet like toffee_

_Walk to the place where we’ve had …._

 

Lexa smiles and takes the piece of paper, folding it to put it in the pocket of her sweatpants. She continues to jog as she gets closer to the coffee shop. With her girlfriend she walks, but now that she’s alone she prefers to keep jogging. It’s unexpected that this is happening, though that’s kind of the point of a surprise.

She reaches the coffee shop and peers around, confused when she doesn’t see Clarke. After the clue she pretty much expected her to be sitting at one of the tables, waiting for her.

“Lexa Woods?”

Lexa looks at the barista who is calling her name. “Yes?” she asks, stepping a bit closer to the counter.

“You are on time like she said you would be,” the barista says with a friendly smile. “This cup of coffee is for you and this is for you as well,” she says, putting a cup of coffee and a folded piece of paper on the counter. “It’s already been paid for.”

“Thank you,” Lexa replies politely. She sits down at a table with the coffee and folds the paper open to see what it says. It turns out to be another talking candle, which makes her smile. She blows into her coffee before taking a sip as she reads the text in the bubble.

 

_When you’re home again, take a deep breath_

_Get on the floor and look what’s under your bed_

 

That has Lexa frowning and wondering what could possibly be under her bed. There’s no way Clarke could have gotten inside her house, unless she broke in by breaking a window or something, which is unlikely. Each time her girlfriend visited they stayed close, so it would puzzle her if something has been snuck under her bed without her seeing it.

She finishes her cup of coffee as fast as she can, given she’s curious and her time is limited because she can’t be late on campus. Once she’s home she needs to take a shower and put her suit on, which she placed on a chair in her bedroom.

Several minutes later she has jogged home. No windows are broken; though she already had a feeling Clarke wouldn’t break a window. She opens her door and walks to her bedroom. The clue said to take a deep breath, so she does just that before getting on the floor to look under her bed.

There’s a present under her bed, neatly wrapped with a ribbon around it. It takes her a few tries to open it, struggling with the wrapping paper. Eventually she gets it open and seeing that it’s a set of heart-shaped candles makes her smile. She counts precisely twenty-eight of them.

Just like the bench and the coffee shop, there’s a piece of paper with a talking candle again, and another clue.

 

_Go put your pretty suit on, you always look neat_

_Stop by at the cafeteria, your cousin’s saving you a seat_

 

Lexa sees Anya in the cafeteria during the morning sometimes, depending when they arrive on campus. When they don’t have time in the morning they usually sit there during lunch or after teaching classes. It’s mostly her cousin who isn’t always there in the morning, because of Adria.

She goes into her bathroom to hop into her shower. When she jogs she always gets a bit sweaty, which feels icky. Within eleven minutes she’s out of her shower, smelling like soap and honey shampoo. She dries her hair and puts her suit on, ready to go to campus.

Anya peers up from her coffee when Lexa walks into the cafeteria. “Happy birthday, Lex,” she says, getting up to hug her.

“Thank you, Anya,” Lexa replies, briefly hugging her cousin back. “You’ve been saving a seat for me?” she asks, which doesn’t make much sense since the cafeteria is as good as empty.

“Yes,” Anya confirms, smiling as she takes an envelope out of her pocket. “This is from Clarke,” she whispers.

Lexa eagerly accepts the envelope. “You’ve seen her?” she asks, surprised because as far as she knows Clarke doesn’t have Anya’s address.

“She approached me about a week ago, after class,” Anya answers, sitting back down. “She handed me a present and asked me to put it under your bed, and to give you that envelope today.”

It makes sense to Lexa now how that present got under her bed. Her cousin has a spare key of her house, in case of emergencies. Ontari is back in her room with Clarke by now, so she can see why she didn’t ask her instead. She opens the envelope and finds a sketch of her girlfriend and her. There’s another clue included.

 


	35. Chapter 35

Clarke holds the box steady in her hands, which she decorated herself, just as she decorated the cake. By now Lexa should be home and if she followed the last clue, her door should be unlocked. She reaches her door and struggles somewhat to push it open, though she’s relieved to find out that it’s indeed unlocked.

“Hello, my love,” Lexa says, smiling from where she’s siting at her kitchen table.

“Happy birthday, beautiful,” Clarke says with a bright smile. “This is for you.”

Lexa peers curiously at the box and opens it. “Mhmm, cake,” she hums, quickly counting twenty-eight small candles.

Clarke fishes a lighter out of her pocket to light the candles. “Make a wish,” she whispers as she goes to stand behind Lexa.

Lexa takes a deep breath and does her best to blow the candles out, which takes her two tries. She closes her eyes and wishes for things to stay exactly as they are because she wouldn’t want to change a thing. Being with Clarke makes her happy and she adores her job, so everything is good as it is.

Clarke worries her bottom lip between her teeth while Lexa cuts the cake. Her period is four days late. It’s giving her stress and she really hopes to get her period soon so she can laugh about having been so sloppy when it comes to taking the pill. Maybe she’d even tell her girlfriend so they can laugh about it together. Okay, no, she probably won’t do that at all.

“This cake looks delicious,” Lexa says while she puts the first piece on a plate for Clarke. “Did you make it?”

“Emily helped me to bake it, but I decorated it,” Clarke answers. She’s not going to take all the credit for it when she didn’t do all of the work alone. “I hope you’ll like the taste.”

Lexa swipes her finger through some chocolate and brings it up to her lips. “Mhmm, yes,” she says, licking the chocolate from her finger. She smiles when Clarke gapes at her. “Do you want some?” she asks, getting some chocolate on her finger again. This time she holds her finger out to her girlfriend.

Clarke takes Lexa’s finger into her mouth completely, slowly sucking it clean while making eye-contact.

“Naughty,” Lexa whispers, imagining Clarke sucking her.

Clarke releases Lexa’s finger with a wet pop. “It’s your birthday today, so you can have anything you want,” she says, batting her eyelashes.

“All I want is you, Clarke.”

Clarke smiles and pulls some coupons she made herself out of her pocket. “These are for you to use whenever you want to,” she says, hoping Lexa will like them.

“Coupon for one massage,” Lexa reads, skimming through them. “Coupon for a striptease,” she continues, licking her lips. “I like this one.”

“You would like it even better if you’d know what I would wear for it,” Clarke replies, winking.

Lexa’s mind runs wild with thoughts of what Clarke would wear for a striptease. Given how naughty her girlfriend can be, she has no doubt that it would be hot. To be fair, she could be stripping out of a garbage bag and she’d still be very turned on.

Clarke cheeks flush bright red when Lexa’s eyes widen as she gets to the next coupon. “Feel free to cash them at any time you want,” she says, probably sounding a tad thirsty. She’s hoping her girlfriend is going to want to use a coupon tonight already. It’s a school night, but it’s not like she hasn’t slept here before during the week.

“I want to give you this one for tonight,” Lexa says, sliding one of the coupons towards Clarke. “And not to be greedy, but maybe this one too,” she adds hesitantly as she slides another coupon towards her.

Clarke looks at the first one, which is good for one blowjob and then at the second one, which is for her riding Lexa. “You’re not being greedy,” she says, wanting to assure her girlfriend of that. “It’s okay to tell me what you want. I’ll do both with pleasure.”

Clarke’s honest smile makes Lexa pull her down into a kiss. She wants to avoid making her girlfriend feel like she’s obligated to do something sexual, though it always seemed that they’re both quite into it.

“Lexa,” Clarke whimpers when her neck is being bitten. Even without the coupons she wouldn’t mind pleasuring her girlfriend. If it’s easier for her to ask for things when it happens through coupons she’d gladly make her hundred more.

Lexa enjoys seeing the bite marks on Clarke’s skin, even though those will eventually fade away. “Bedroom?” she whispers, putting her hands on her girlfriend’s hips.

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, reaching out to take Lexa’s hands. “Allow me to take care of you, commander.”

Lexa sighs and smiles as she lets Clarke lead her. “I believe I am in good hands,” she says, positively sure her girlfriend is going to be a good girl.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke looks into the mirror, nodding approvingly at the outfit she’s wearing. She had asked Lexa to give her five minutes so she could get changed. She’s wearing a pink babydoll which is revealing her breasts quite well.

Lexa moans at the sight of Clarke and her body reacts accordingly as her cock twitches. All she is wearing is her boxer briefs, because her girlfriend already stripped her from the rest of her clothes. “You look amazing, Clarke,” she says, following her with her eyes.

One corner of Clarke’s mouth goes up in a sly smile as she crawls on the bed on all fours. She kisses Lexa’s exposed stomach, running her tongue teasingly over her abs. “Beautiful,” she says, drinking her in with her eyes. She places her hands on either side of her girlfriend’s hips.

Lexa’s lips part when Clarke drags her underwear down with her teeth. It makes her want to bite her and be bitten in response. Her girlfriend must be reading her mind in some way because next thing she knows Clarke is nipping at the skin of her inner thighs.

Clarke sits up and runs her hands down Lexa’s chest, stopping when she reaches her stomach. “You can tell me when you want something,” she says, noticing how silent she is being.

“I want you to use your mouth for something other than talking,” Lexa replies, smiling when Clarke gasps. “Be a good girl and kiss me.”

“Your wish is my command, commander,” Clarke husks, watching how Lexa’s eyes darken at that. She slowly presses her body down on top of her, capturing her lips in a kiss which starts out soft, but quickly turns rougher.

Lexa slips her hands under Clarke’s babydoll, raking her nails up and down her back. She’s not sure which one of them moans first, but when they’re both moaning she deepens their kiss. She kisses her girlfriend like she’ll personally fill her lungs with oxygen.

Clarke sucks lightly on Lexa’s tongue while she moves her body to give her some friction. She lowers herself down her girlfriend’s body, littering her exposed chest with kisses and then her stomach. Green eyes with dilated pupils are looking intently at her as she wraps her hand around Lexa’s cock.

“Ohh,” Lexa whispers when Clarke moves her hand. She can feel that she’s starting slow and soft, which is good. Her member is already hard because it doesn’t take much for that to happen given her girlfriend is the most gorgeous girl there is.

“You’re so sexy,” Clarke says, pumping her hand faster. She can hardly wait to see Lexa’s face when she comes, with the way her eyebrows crinkle together and how her faces scrunches up beautifully as she lets go.

“Your grip doesn’t have to be so gentle,” Lexa says, to guide Clarke about what she likes and wants. “Mhmm,” she moans when her good girl pumps her cock with a firmer grip.

Clarke swirls her tongue around the head of Lexa’s cock. She closes her eyes for what can’t be longer than a second or two and when she opens them, she sees those green eyes staring at her, blown with lust. As she maintains eye-contact, she takes her deeper into her mouth, giving her girlfriend a first experimental suck to hear her moan.

“Fuck,” Lexa moans, rocking her hips to meet Clarke’s mouth. Having that warm mouth on her only makes her want more. “Good girl,” she appraises as each one of her thrusts are met by that eager mouth and tongue.

Clarke gently crazes her teeth against the head to heighten the sensation for Lexa. She takes her deeper, proud that she can take her completely without choking as she sucks. When she tastes some of her pre-cum, she hums, which deliciously makes her girlfriend gasp.

“Clarke,” Lexa whimpers. She loves it when she hums because the vibration sets her nerves on fire and that alone brings her to the edge already, and she could possibly orgasm due to that humming. Her mouth feels a little dry and so are her lips as she licks them. “Suck me harder,” she whispers, her voice shaking nearly unnoticeably.

Clarke bobs her head up and releases Lexa’s member. “Speak up, commander,” she says, continuing to pump her cock in her hand to keep the pressure building.

Lexa clears her throat and gathers her voice. She knows she can be commanding in what she wants and it helps that it even turns Clarke on when she does that. It’s a blessing to be in such a beautiful relationship with a girl who looks like an angel and yet can be such a naughty devil in bed.

Clarke knows Lexa wants her to suck her harder, or at least that’s what she thinks she heard her whisper. She wants to be a good girl for her and pleasure her any way she can.

“I need your mouth,” Lexa says, louder this time. “Suck me harder, like a good girl would do.”

“Anything for my commander,” Clarke hums, wasting no time to oblige. She takes Lexa’s full length into her mouth and sucks while bobbing her head up and down.

“I’m close,” Lexa says, gasping as she feels her orgasm building stronger. “Clarke,” she moans when her girlfriend doesn’t seem to stop.

Clarke gives Lexa’s thigh a squeeze, hoping she’ll get the message that she can let go.

“Ooooh, yes,” Lexa moans whilst grasping her sheets. “I’m coming!”

Clarke looks at Lexa, watching her face morph into intense pleasure as her load is being squirted into her mouth. She does her best to be a good girl and swallow it down, but it’s so much that some of it dribbles down her chin.

Lexa brings her index finger to Clarke’s chin and gathers what she spilled. Wordlessly, she brings her finger up to her girlfriend’s mouth for her to lick it clean.

Clarke opens her mouth, sucking Lexa’s finger clean. “Do you want a few minutes to recover before I make you hard again so I can ride you?” she asks, remembering that she also picked the coupon to be ridden.

Lexa smiles and taps Clarke’s thighs. “Sit on my face,” she commands, noticing how much she’s dripping and how her vagina is glistening.

“But… it’s your birthday,” Clarke replies, hesitant. “This day is all about you,” she says, regardless of how wet and turned on she is. Soon she’ll get to ride Lexa’s thick, long cock which will give her more than enough pleasure.

“I was not asking, Clarke,” Lexa says sternly, insistent. She’s not going to be selfish just because it’s her birthday, plus she loves making Clarke come.

Clarke blushes, realizing she’s been naughty by not obeying Lexa right away. “Yes, commander,” she says, slowly exhaling as she lowers herself on her face.

 


	36. Chapter 36

Clarke puts her canvas aside, happy that one artwork from each student will be chosen to be placed in a small gallery which Polis is funding. She’s been informed that a talent scout is going to be present by the time this school year nears its end and said scout may select a favorite work, which then would be placed at an actual gallery where it will be up for sale.

If that talent scout would notice her work it could be a very big step up for her to have a future as an artist. She knows she has two more years to go after this one, which she will do, but it would be nice regardless if she could get noticed already as a starting artist.

“Mister Thompson,” Clarke says, smiling at him, relieved to have him back. “I was thinking of making a portfolio to show to the talent scout,” she explains, hoping that wouldn’t be troublesome. It would only cost the talent scout five minutes or so of their time. “Would you mind looking it through for me once I’m done with it to give me some tips and pointers?”

“That is an excellent idea, Miss Griffin,” Mister Thompson answers, smiling back at her. “You created a few pieces which I would recommend photographing to put in your portfolio. Make sure to think out of the box as well, to add pieces which separate you from other artists.”

“I will do that, Mister Thompson,” Clarke replies, nodding. She is thinking of creating a painting with natural elements, which she would make by creating her own kind of paint. “Thank you,” she says, wanting to thank him in advance for being willing to help her.

She walks back to her dorm with a smile on her face and her sketchbook in her hands. It’s going to be quite late soon and she has some studying to do before going to sleep. She walks into her room and drops her sketchbook in shock, freezing where she stands with the doorknob still in her hand.

Ontari brings her head up from the girl she was eating out. She licks juices off of her chin and smirks at Clarke with one of her proud cocky smirks.

“Oh… god,” Clarke whispers, shaking her head as she wishes she could shake that mental image. She really didn’t need to see Ontari naked and see her eating someone out. “Could you just…ugh,” she says awkwardly.

Ontari sighs and pulls her blanket up to cover herself and the girl.

With another look Clarke realizes that the girl is more of a young woman. “You could have put a sock on the door or something,” she says to Ontari. “Who is that?”

“Clarke, this is Echo,” Ontari says, pointing her finger around. “Echo, that’s my roommate, the one who’s fucking my cousin.”

“Ri!” Clarke shouts, appalled. Okay yes, she is fucking Lexa, but that doesn’t mean Ontari has to put it so bluntly and what the hell is she thinking having Echo here? “Why is she here?” she asks, gesturing at Echo.

Ontari smiles when Echo brushes her hair aside to kiss her neck. “Echo needs a place to stay for a few days because Roan doesn’t want her around anymore,” she answers, sighing. “I told her she can stay here until she finds her own place. Once she does, she’s going to grab her stuff at my bro’s place and move out.”

“We’re not supposed to let people stay in our room,” Clarke says, quite sure there’s a strict policy about that. Sure, a lot of students are seeing someone which is fine, but letting Echo crash here for a few days doesn’t seem ideal.

“Come on, Clarke,” Ontari murmurs. “Don’t be difficult about this she’s got nowhere else to go. I know Lexa’s got space, but I doubt she’d want to get involved more into this than she already has.”

“Ugh, fine,” Clarke says, groaning. It’s probably a tad rude that she’s talking about Echo with Ontari while Echo is right here. She doesn’t fully agree to the situation, but she isn’t heartless either, so she’s not going to force Echo to leave.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The nightly air feels chilly and pleasant on Lexa’s skin. Now that the weather has been improving she’s been jogging more at night again, as well as in the mornings. It’s no longer her goal to jog to clear her mind; instead she’s simply enjoying it. There’s a breeze which feels just right and she could have let her hair loose, but instead it’s in a ponytail.

Her birthday went well and she had a good time with Clarke. It’s been a few days now since that happened, but it’s a day she’ll never forget. The cake tasted delicious, though her girlfriend tasted far more delicious of course. Their relationship is going steady and she’s happy that they’ve been together for four months so far, with hopefully many more months to follow, and eventually even years.

Maybe’s she’s thinking too far ahead, though when she told her Uncle Gustus around the holidays how she thinks Clarke might be the one she didn’t say that lightly. With each passing day that thought is getting stronger. What she shares with her girlfriend must be true love. Her feelings must be quite obvious, since Anya noticed as well how strong she feels about Clarke.

It’s a relief that her family has been taking it all fairly well without much arguments of any kind and she’s also relieved her girlfriend’s friends and family took it well. The only detail is that Clarke hasn’t told her mother yet, for which she wants to give her time and time isn’t the issue. She’s worried Abby would not accept what they have. It wouldn’t make much difference to her despite the fact that she wishes to be accepted, but it does make a difference that it could upset her girlfriend.

She’s halfway through the park when she sees Clarke sitting on their bench, which puzzles her. It’s getting late and it’s a school night, and on top of that her girlfriend usually doesn’t sit there anymore at night. She jogs over to her to see what is going on.

“Hey,” Clarke says, smiling softly when she sees Lexa.

Lexa cups Clarke’s cheeks and kisses her, even though she was still catching her breath.

Clarke places her hands on top of Lexa’s, even as her girlfriend leans away. She can see the question in her eyes as to why she’s here this late.  “Echo ran back to Ontari. They’re together now,” she explains with a quiet sigh. “They sexiled me,” she says, definitely not wanting to be near her room anytime soon. Walking in on them not once but three times was way more than she bargained for.

“I did not exactly need to know that last piece of information,” Lexa replies, scrunching her nose up. She’s surprised that Echo must have chosen Ontari, unless Echo is going to keep going back and forth between Roan and Ontari, which she hopes won’t be the case. “Echo is staying in your room?”

“Mhmm,” Clarke hums, nodding. “Ontari said it’s only for a few days, but I guess it could be a bit longer than that.”

“Roan must have kicked her out then,” Lexa notes. She can understand Roan not wanting Echo around anymore if she decided to be with Ontari. All she hopes for is that Echo knows what she’s doing before two hearts end up broken. “Do you want a cup of coffee? The shop is open longer when the weather is this good.”

“I won’t say no to that,” Clarke answers, smiling at their little tradition. “I’ll probably stick to one cup otherwise I won’t sleep easily when I’m supposed to.”

Lexa ponders about how Roan must be feeling because she knows he had hoped to have a child with Echo. That was how serious their relationship had been. She doesn’t blame Ontari for having developed feelings, though personally she would never go after someone who is already seeing someone else, especially not when it’s within her family circle. Her younger cousin and Echo both made mistakes.

“Mister Thompson is going to help me to prepare for that talent scout,” Clarke says with a small nervous smile. “Everyone in the art program is talented in their own way, but I hope the talent scout will notice me.”

“With your talent and passion I’m sure you will be noticed sooner or later,” Lexa replies, hoping that the talent scout will indeed notice Clarke. Scouts would be ridiculous not to see what her girlfriend is capable of, though she knows it can be a hard world and the first try might not pay off.

Clarke follows Lexa into the coffee shop and sighs as their coffee is being prepared. She wrings her hands together, smiling softly each time her girlfriend looks at her. There’s one type of art which might heighten her chance to get noticed by the talent scout.

Lexa takes their cups from the barista and walks over to a small table near the window. She puts the cups down on the table before pulling a chair back for Clarke. “Here you go, my love,” she whispers, kissing her cheek.

“You’re so sweet,” Clarke replies, melting a little bit. “Thank you.”

Lexa smiles and sits down across from Clarke. She notices a crinkle between her eyebrows as she gazes out of the window. “Care to spill?” she asks, tilting her head slightly as her girlfriend looks at her.

“Um well, I’m wondering if I could uh…,” Clarke answers, sighing. “I would like to use the sketch I made of you when we were at the lake, to… to show,” she explains, paling at the stoic expression on Lexa’s face. She clears her throat as she tries to find her words. “It’s a beautiful piece, my best work because it’s you and you’re just so…,” she says, sighing softly, “beautiful doesn’t even come close to describe how gorgeous you are. Others don’t have to know it’s you and I could always make a few changes. If you’re uncomfortable with it then I won’t do it, of course.”

Lexa slowly drags her eyes from Clarke to her coffee, wrapping her fingers around her cup. She brings it up to her lips, blowing gently before taking a sip. What her girlfriend is asking of her is quite a serious request and months ago she would have flat out said no. She will need some time to think about it before making a decision.

“Hey,” Clarke whispers, getting up from her seat to reach Lexa. “You can say no. Art is important to me, but nowhere near as important as you are,” she says earnestly.

“Your future will always be important, Clarke,” Lexa replies with a sigh. She taps her legs for her girlfriend to sit down on her lap.

“I know,” Clarke says quietly, sitting down. She puts her arms around Lexa’s neck and rests their foreheads together. “Like I said, you’re important, Lexa,” she whispers affectionately.

Lexa smiles, feeling happy to be called Clarke’s future. “You think me a sap, yet here you are, being all mushy, she whispers.

“Mhmm, you’ve been rubbing off on me,” Clarke hums, angling her head so she can kiss Lexa.

 


	37. Chapter 37

“Echo finally found her own place I take it?” Anya asks, sighing as she crosses her arms. “Roan called me to say she went to his place to collect her belongings.”

“Yes, she found an apartment somewhere,” Lexa answers, not having too many details about it. All she knows is what Clarke has told her, which is that Echo left the room she shares with Ontari because she found a small place. “How is Roan holding up?”

“He’s not taking it well, but that’s understandable,” Anya answers, shaking her head. “When Ontari had all that trouble with Nia he took her in and what does he get in return? He had to see his girlfriend cheating on him with his sister, which is really messed up.”

“Echo can’t be trusted,” Luna cuts in. “Ontari seems to be over the moon for her, but who is to say Echo won’t go and cheat on her as well once she gets bored?”

“Mhmm,” Anya hums, nodding her head. “Once a cheater always a cheater,” she says coldly.

Lexa isn’t going to object that statement, considering she wouldn’t trust someone who has cheated. She follows Luna’s concern, worrying Echo might end up breaking Ontari’s heart like she has broken Roan’s.

“Relationships with someone who is younger can work,” Anya says cautiously while looking at Lexa. “However, Echo wants children, which is something Ontari isn’t ready for.”

“Precisely,” Luna agrees. “Relationships like that could work,” she says, now looking at Lexa too, “but only if those involved are on the same page.”

“With you and Clarke it is fine,” Anya says bluntly to Lexa, as if it wasn’t clear already that she chose her words carefully. “You’re both on the same page because you’re not waiting around to have children.”

“Echo claimed she wouldn’t mind waiting a few years, but I’m not sure if that’s true,” Luna says. “Even if she believes that to be true, she might decide after a year or so that she can’t wait anyway.”

“You’re both right,” Lexa agrees, exhaling loudly. Age differences are fine when it’s all legal, but not being on the same page complicates things, which makes her happy that she doesn’t have that kind of issue with Clarke.

“It’s not even sure Ontari would ever want children,” Anya points out, “once Echo realizes that things could turn sour fast, because that can be a deal breaker in a relationship.”

“Definitely,” Luna says, nodding in agreement. “If An wouldn’t have wanted a child I’d have had a hard time staying by her side, even though I love her with all my heart.”

“Good thing we’re on the same page,” Anya says to her wife. She smiles and pulls Luna in her arms, kissing her.

“Ontari has made her fair share of mistakes, but she has also suffered a lot,” Lexa says, sighing. “I’m worried Echo might have taken advantage of the fragile state she was in throughout the summer, when the tension between them began. You both weren’t there that night she showed up all battered and bruised on my doorstep. I believe Echo could have stopped Ontari and Roan from fighting each other. I’m worried that perhaps she wanted them to fight for her, worried she gets a thrill out of it, but I’m just fishing here.”

Anya sighs loudly and grumbles while she makes coffee. “If everything between Echo and Ontari doesn’t get messed up by the time the summer vacation hits, I guess we’ll know where she’s going to be staying,” she says, pouring a cup of coffee.

“Granted that Echo plans to let her stay at her apartment,” Lexa says, because they can’t be sure of that. “If Ontari wouldn’t have a place to stay during the summer, I’m still willing to take her in. Her behavior isn’t always ideal, but she’s family.”

“I wish we could talk some sense into Ontari,” Anya replies, sounding sad. “She hasn’t been making it easy for us to help her.”

“We promised her mother we would keep an eye on her,” Lexa says, reminding her cousin of that. When her aunt was dying, she vowed she’d look after Ontari and so did Anya. “Ontari is mostly misunderstood. With proper support we can get her on the right track.”

“Hmm, yes,” Anya says hesitantly. “I wish her bridge with Roan wouldn’t have been burned.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay, I’m here,” Clarke says, smiling as she steps inside. “Where is Aden?”

“He’s in his bedroom,” Jake answers, sighing as he sits down on the couch.

“It’s been two hours,” Emily says worriedly. “He wouldn’t even come out for dinner.”

Clarke frowns, because that doesn’t sound like something Aden would do. Her brother is a nice kid who always obeys and never misbehaves in any way, so whatever is wrong must be serious. “He said he wants to talk to me?” she asks, still surprised from the text she received a while ago.

“Yes,” Emily answers. “He only wants to see you and talk to you.”

“Hmm okay then,” Clarke replies, slipping her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “I’ll go sort this out,” she says with a reassuring smile.

Clarke walks up to her brother’s bedroom and knocks two times. “Hey, little bro,” she calls out through the door. “It’s me, open up, okay?”

There’s some shuffling from the other side of the door and then the lock clicks open.

Clarke pushes the door open and steps inside Aden’s room, closing the door behind her. She looks at her brother, who is staring at the floor. “What’s up?” she asks casually, unsure how to go by this. She’s still trying to find her way with being a big sister and Aden is thirteen by now, which hasn’t made it easier because she doesn’t want him to feel as if she’s treating him like a little kid.

“I need your help,” Aden answers, keeping his eyes trained on the floor as he sits down on his bed.

“Okay,” Clarke replies, sitting down next to Aden. “If you tell me what you need help with, I’ll try to help you as well as I can,” she promises.

Aden slowly moves his head up to look at his sister. “How do you let a girl know you like her?” he asks, sounding insecure and shy.

Clarke’s first thought is to say how cute it is that Aden might be having his first crush, but she pushes that thought aside. Her brother is already nervous and if she reacts like that she would only make it worse. “Well, when I like someone, I ask them out,” she answers with a soft smile.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Aden mumbles. “Charlotte always hangs out with her friends.”

“Hmm, well, I think dad and Emily have a list of the parents, including hers,” Clarke replies thoughtfully. “Maybe you can call her and ask her if she wants to go to the movies with you,” she suggests.

Aden blushes and shakes his head.

“I can call her parents and ask if Charlotte is allowed to hang out with you this weekend,” Clarke offers. She finds it endearing that Aden is reaching this phase. “Would it help if I go with you? I promise I won’t sit next to you like our parents would do,” she says, chuckling when her brother smiles.

“That would be okay,” Aden agrees, nodding. “You could take your girlfriend with you so it doesn’t look like I have chaperones.”

“Of course, you’re too cool for chaperones,” Clarke replies, ruffling Aden’s hair.

“Gross,” Aden complains, swatting his sister’s hand away. “It’s not cool when you ruffle my hair.”

“Dammit,” Clarke whispers quietly. She was so close to handling this well, but it’s going to take some more practice. “Okay, I’ll take Lexa with me so it can be a double date.”

Aden nods and fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “Should I give her flowers or chocolate?” he asks, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Or both?”

“When in doubt, go with both,” Clarke answers with a soft sigh. “Actually no, just a flower or some chocolate would do, you don’t have to get her both,” she says, changing her mind. Too many gifts on a first date could be overkill. “This is so cute,” she says, feeling so happy for Aden that she can’t help it.

“You’re being gross again,” Aden mutters. “If Charlotte says yes, don’t embarrass me.”

“You got it, little bro,” Clarke replies, nearly ruffling his hair again, but she catches herself at the last second. “Text me if you need anything, I’ll keep my weekend open.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa holds the bucket of popcorn she bought as she goes to the back row to select a seat. It’s sweet that Clarke is chaperoning for her brother and she had said yes immediately when she was asked to join.

“We can sit on the right, over there,” Clarke whispers, gesturing with her free hand. “It will give us a good view on the screen and that way I can still keep an eye on Aden,” she says, noticing how her brother and Charlotte are taking their seats somewhere on the middle row.

Lexa nods and scoots over to the right. The nice part of this movie theater is that a few seats in the back are love seats, which have enough space to fit two people. She puts the bucket of popcorn on her lap and smiles when Clarke sits down next to her, their legs touching.

Clarke grasps a handful of the popcorn while commercials start playing on the screen as the lights dim. She still hadn’t gotten her period and it’s really starting to concern her because she’s almost a month late to get it. Yesterday she threw up after she ate breakfast, though that could also be due to stress.

“Can I have the bottle of water?” Lexa asks quietly. She would try to reach it herself, but then she’d have to lean over Clarke and that’s not a good idea while she has that bucket of popcorn on her lap.

“Mhmm,” Clarke answers while she reaches for the bottle. She twists the cap off and hands it to Lexa. “The seat next to us hasn’t been taken,” she whispers just as the movie is about to begin. “We can put our things there.”

Lexa nods and lets Clarke put the bucket of popcorn aside. She sips from the water and closes the bottle, smiling as her girlfriend moves over to sit on her lap. “Comfortable?” she asks quietly.

Clarke answers Lexa’s question by kissing her while her hands slip under her shirt, rising up to palm her breasts. It is pitch black anyway and everyone else is concentrating on the movie. She’s thinking about taking a pregnancy test to make sure if that’s why her period is late or not.

“Ah,” Lexa whispers when Clarke kisses and bites her neck. “Clarke, maybe… ah… we should…mhmm… shouldn’t… oh yes… do this here.”

Clarke kisses Lexa’s jawline and claims her sweet lips, cupping her cheeks as she deepens their kiss while she feels her girlfriend’s hands move up her back. “Do you want me to stop?” she asks, whispering hotly in her ear.

“I… oh,” Lexa whimpers. She can hardly think with Clarke’s hands moving down her chest, lower and lower until one hand disappears between her legs. Sucking her lips into her mouth, all she can do is shake her head. “We’re supposed to… supposed… mhmm. Clarke, we’re supposed to be chaperones.”

Clarke whips her head around to cast a quick glance at Aden and Charlotte, who are watching the movie. “They’re fine,” she whispers, turning her face back to Lexa. “We don’t need to stare at them the whole time.”

“Maybe we should watch the movie,” Lexa suggests. She groans quietly because Clarke is turning her on with the way she’s kissing her neck. “You’re such a naughty girl,” she husks, tugging at her girlfriend’s hair. She leans closer to whisper in her ear without releasing her grip on her hair. “I will punish you for this later.”

“Mhmm. Yes commander,” Clarke all but moans, struggling to be silent. She takes Lexa’s hand and brings her index finger to her lips, sucking on it while she winks seductively.

Lexa can’t believe how often Clarke calls her a tease when she does things like that, which drive her crazy with lust. It feels so deliciously good how naughty her girlfriend can be.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Why are you outside, Clarke?” Lexa asks, confused. “You’re soaked.”

A smile forms on Clarke’s lips while she shrugs. “Join me,” she suggests, holding her hand out towards Lexa. “Pleaseee,” she adds, drawn out as she wiggles her fingers.

Lexa exhales quietly and even though it’s raining, it’s not cold, although she wouldn’t have said no either way. She places her hand in Clarke’s, the sight of her smile melting her inside. “If you get sick…”

“I won’t,” Clarke assures, pulling Lexa closer towards her.

“Mhmm,” Lexa hums, not quite convinced. “What are you doing?”

“Dancing,” Clarke answers whilst placing her hands on Lexa’s sides. “Dance in the rain with me,” she whispers, close to her ear as rain drips down her face.

“You remembered my wish to dance in the rain,” Lexa whispers, amazed by how much Clarke cares to remember small details about her.

Clarke cups Lexa’s cheeks and gazes into her eyes. “That’s not all I remember,” she whispers, her breath ghosting over her lips. She closes the inch that separated them, locking their lips in a delicate kiss.

Lexa feels free, dancing and kissing in the rain while Clarke’s thumbs caress her cheeks. She feels loved and complete, and most importantly, happy.

Clarke pulls back and rests her forehead against Lexa’s, their noses touching lightly. Her eyes peer intensely into hers. “I know you like the idea of the two of us being together for a long time,” she whispers, feeling her girlfriend stiffen against her, no longer dancing.

Lexa doesn’t need to see Clarke’s lips to know she’s chewing nervously on her bottom lip. The sound of her voice alone is enough to tell her she’s doing just that. “I do,” she confirms, swallowing long and hard.

“I love you for many reasons, Lexa. Truly, I do,” Clarke says with a deep sigh. “One of those reasons is your ability to keep an open mind,” she continues, gathering her courage.

Lexa nods against Clarke’s forehead, waiting for whatever it is she wants to reveal. She knows something has been up, but she doesn’t know what precisely. Lately, her girlfriend has been acting differently, like she’s hiding a secret.

“How would you feel about the idea of there being three of us rather than two?” Clarke asks, taking a step back so she can look better at Lexa.

Lexa doesn’t say a word, not at first. She’s hardly even breathing, not visibly at least, while she thinks long and hard about what Clarke just asked.

Seconds feel like minutes. Minutes feel like hours. But Clarke waits patiently for Lexa to answer her question.

Lexa exhales slowly and reaches out to take both of Clarke’s hands, squeezing them softly. “You’re pregnant?” she asks, wondering if that’s what she’s trying to tell her. Maybe that’s the secret her girlfriend had seemed to be hiding from her.

The rain hides the fact that Clarke is crying, but the quiver in her lips betrays her. She sucks her lips nervously into her mouth and nods. “I found out two weeks ago, the day after we went to the movies,” she confesses, worried how Lexa will react. “I know you didn’t ask for – Lexa? Are…are you crying?”

Lexa rushes up to Clarke and gathers her in her arms as tightly as she can without squeezing her stomach too much. “We’re going to be a family,” she whispers, feeling thoroughly emotional. It’s true that she never asked for a child, but her love for her girlfriend is big enough to share with a child, their child.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. There won't be a sequel.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated. This is a GP teacher/student story, so for those who don't like that, don't read. For those who are interested in reading this, buckle up and enjoy the ride. :)
> 
> ***DO NOT REPOST ANY OF MY STORIES ANYWHERE EVER, I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR THIS***


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